any tips/stratagies

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ok this is my first real thread so not really sure how to put this lol


basically I am having difficulty at the moment because my current living situation doesn't allow routines to occur properly half the time and aspects of the situation keep triggering sensory overloads. Not the mention that there seems to be some social thing that I do wrong or don't understand pritty much everyday.


so, I was wondering if anyone knew of any ways to decrease some of these things? Like how do you cope with routine change? How do you prevent or at least cope with an overlaod without looking slightly odd or whatever? A few other aspects of aspergers are getting in the way at the moment but these are the 2 major ones

I live in a chaotic environment (hippie commune) & being nocturnal gives me freedom from many problems.

not sure nocturnal would work for me right now... too many during the day things that I have to do

You might try mini routines. Like break your day into several small blocks of time rather than one long one and have short routines that you do in each chunk. That will give you more flexibility to be able to do stuff. If you set up your routines in blocks you might also be able to be flexible in when you do which chunk. Like you might do the routine for chunk #1 in the morning on Monday but then do it in the afternoon on Tuesday. That way you have a sense of stability but you are still very versitile. And keeping your time blocks relatively short will help a lot.

mini routines makes sense. not sure how to go about doing that though :/ main one having an issue with right now is showering, in fact morning routine in general... my usual routine is: get up, shower, get dressed, make coffee, have cig, drink coffee. But recently due to living situation often I can't shower as soon as I get up, but I find if I try to change the order to put shower at the end, or even if I just try to delay it I get stupidly paniced and essentially end up not having a shower at all... will just wash hair under tap or whatever so that is at least looked to others like I am clean. But that triggers off the slight OCDness I have over contamination which is a whole other set of issues... and results in my being overly stressed for the rest of the day

and laundry... Monday is laundry day, but due to current living situation sometimes laundry can't be done on a Monday, and I can't seem to bring myself to do it on any other day...


most annoying thing is that I KNOW that this is all illogical, that doing things out of order or on the wrong day isn't inherently bad or whatever, but I still react in overblown ways :/

It is not illogical to you and that is what is important. Do you know why showering is hard out of order? I guess you most likely don't since you don't know about why the laundry affects you that way. Other than just general panic, can you identify any other feelings especially right before the panic? Sometimes I like to play the worst case scenario game with myself. I ask myself what is the absolute worst thing that can happen if I try this. Usually the answer is trivial and it gives me the courage to try it. That might be a good game to play also. Then you try it and once you do you realize that nothing bad happens at all and in fact good things start to happen and then you don't panic.

If you can slowly add to your wash it may help you be able to be more flexible with your routine. For example, you can wash your hair in the sink. The next time you wash your hair that way, see if you can also wash your face. It is not far from your hair so you can consider it an extension of your hair. And since you are using your hands to wash, see if you can also wash your underarms. That would be a good start. Little by little, see if you can feel comfortable adding a little more to your sink wash, maybe after you are good with your face and underarms, maybe try washing your private area as well. Take it in small progressive steps and every time you do it and are able to add to it, reward yourself with something special like a piece of candy you like that is reserved just for that. I think that if you do it in small steps you will see that you can do it without panicking. Then eventually you will be able to step into the shower at a different time.

Same with the laundry, Maybe try washing one or two small things, even by hand in the sink to see how it feels to wash on a different day. Then maybe try one tiny load in the machine. You can take your time with it and pay attention to your feelings and see if doing it in small increments will help you again rewarding yourself with every tiny victory.

This is nothing to be ashamed of at all. Even if it sounds illogical your brain is processing it whatever way it is processing it but I think that in small steps that don't feel too overwhelming or scary you can learn to it. And you have all the time you need. So you don't have to feel pressured to learn it too fast.

This sounds somewhat familiar, minus having to worry about looking weird because my family is generally used to me overreacting to everything.

is there any way you could take a shower the night before instead of in the morning? I sometimes do that when I know there will be a conflict about what time to shower in the morning. It eases some stress for me anyway.

With the other issues making you overload, I can imagine what some roommate activities might be that would overload a person. Noises, social events at your place, cooking smells, borrowing items of yours, etc. At least those are things for me. The worst would be people having people over. I plan to escape when this happens, have an excuse ready so you can go to your room, and have a safety net of things you need in your room so you don't have to leave it, like water to drink and a snack. If you simply have to be in the same space as someone doing something awful, maybe you could get a song that you love and listen to it on headphones to drown out some of that other input, and just listen to it over and over and try to focus on feeling better instead of focusing on feeling awkward which probably makes you feel worse and escalates your reaction to whatever is bothering you

just my two cents

I am really glad that you and your BF will will getting your own place soon. Time will go by a lot quicker than you think. It is very stressful when you are not in your own environment and caravan living is challenging for anyone. I think it will be so much easier for you when you move. You will be much more relaxed. But in the meantime, I would try to practice some of the tips I mentioned to you because learning that skill will help you in many ways now and later in life. And you can learn it so that it does not overwhelm you. It is likely that you are panicking more than you would in a normal situation because you are in someone else's home. I have had similar experiences and that does stress you so much more. But it is very good news that you will be moving.