what is it like being Aspie AND Gay??

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lucid75016
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05 Aug 2013, 12:41 pm

i guess im still curious about both of these subjects by themselves, but together?! not sure what i want to specifically hear from the LGBT community here, but anything interesting will be appreciated.



Last edited by lucid75016 on 05 Aug 2013, 2:25 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Verdandi
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05 Aug 2013, 1:36 pm

What "difference" do they mean?



lucid75016
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05 Aug 2013, 1:57 pm

sorry, didnt mean to offend anyone. ive edited the post. (i'm new here)



AdamAutistic
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05 Aug 2013, 2:06 pm

it means i am autistic and i like the same gender. i dont think sexual orientation would matter.


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ParaSait
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05 Aug 2013, 3:08 pm

Yeah... I don't really understand... being an aspie and gay feels a lot like being an aspie and being gay. I don't really see a specific connection that makes it into something unique in itself lol.


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Joe90
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05 Aug 2013, 3:38 pm

I can see what the OP means. Some gay people, especially when young, sometimes feel afraid or ashamed of their homosexuality, and are still wondering if they really are or not, and don't wish to tell people. And if they're an Aspie, and are the type of Aspie who also feels ashamed or embarrassed of having AS, having two things in denial can be very hard. Some people (immature people mostly) frown upon gay people, as if it is hard enough being accepted by society as an Aspie. And then I often hear of people calling female gay people slang names like ''lesbos'' or ''dykes'', and it can be bad enough having a label of AS, and it just might make an Aspie feel more sensitive about their identity.

I don't know though, I'm not gay so I'm just saying what I think, I might be wrong about it.


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DarkRain
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05 Aug 2013, 3:51 pm

LGBT Aspies are pretty much the same as everyone else; the only thing different is their sexual orientation. Other than that, there's no difference.



diniesaur
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05 Aug 2013, 6:06 pm

I actually didn't know I was supposed to be "in the closet." I never had a "coming out" experience because I was just like "yeah, I like males and females, whatever." People tried to bully me about it but it didn't bother me as much as the fact that they thought it was something to bully someone over did.

Now, there actually can be some differences in places where being gay isn't accepted by the majority. Often, gay people will have subtle ways of telling if others are gay--this is even useful when it's not dangerous to be gay. One of my friends told me that when you want to ask someone out but aren't sure if they're gay or not, you ask if he has a girlfriend (or if she has a boyfriend) and see how they react.

It's just a few more social skills that people may need to learn, depending on where they live.



Tori0326
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05 Aug 2013, 7:01 pm

I don't know what the original question(s) were that got edited but I can tell you that one needs to be more intuitive, i.e. gaydar, and being an Aspie complicates all that.



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05 Aug 2013, 9:34 pm

Being bisexual and aspie is hard, because I never know who has a genuine romantic interest in me and who is just being nice. It's especially hard when I'm dealing with other women, because I can never tell if their affectionate behavior is flirtatious or platonic. For example, I was almost 100% positive that one of my female friends (who had told me that she was open to the idea of being with other women) liked me as "more than friends" based on the way that she treated me. So when I told her I "liked" her, I was absolutely stunned when she basically told me in the nicest terms possible that she had no romantic interest in me at all and wouldn't date me even if she was single. :?

Oh, and coming out was a nightmare. I got into constant fights with my dad about it (him being of the opinion that it's "wrong") and lost my best friend over it (it didn't help that, like the more recent incident with my other friend, I misunderstood her and thought she liked me as "more than friends").

These days, I know better than to talk about it unless I am able to trust that the person I'm talking to won't judge me, and I'm also trying very hard not to misinterpret the kindness of friends as romantic gestures.