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Who_Am_I
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06 Aug 2013, 7:15 pm

Over the years, I've seen many topics here about how neurotypicals treat us badly and are inconsiderate towards us.
This topic is for the opposite: times when they've been considerate and made efforts to accomodate us.
I'll start with 2 examples. Both people know I have Asperger's.

1. I was at an after-party for an orchestral event. I started rubbing my hand across my forehead for a second. I was just bored, but the person who I got a lift with thought it was getting too much for me, and, instead of just pretending she hadn't noticed, made her excuses and we left.

2. My friend used to show up to my place unexpectedly all the time. Lately, she hasn't. I figured it was because our work schedules haven't been allowing for it, until she mentioned that she's been refraining from doing it because she knows I have AS and hate unexpected social contact.


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-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


Annaliina
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06 Aug 2013, 7:26 pm

Aww this is amazing thread!

I was out with some friends, aquaitances actually, and we were getting coffee. They knew I'm autistic so they actively helped me engage in conversation. I also was shutting down and they asked if I was ok. They really paid attention to me and considered that things can be hard for me.

It was really kind ^^



neobluex
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06 Aug 2013, 7:35 pm

Some neurotypicals treat people (including people with "difficulties") better than most aspies. That's why empathy is important.



cberg
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06 Aug 2013, 7:56 pm

I'm all but entirely known to my friends as HFA. The balance of who I hang around with shifted quite a lot as I predicated discussions on this, but overall I think my personality is taken into account wherever I go. I'm actually very outgoing, but that changes in a snap when anyone starts to see Aspergers as the sum total of my identity.


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yellowtamarin
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06 Aug 2013, 8:08 pm

I was having dinner with a friend and we were about to sit down, then she commented that I'd probably prefer to sit in the other seat so we swapped places. She had remembered that I prefer to sit with my back to the wall.

That's the best I can come up with at the moment, I'm a little disappointed that I can't recall more. My mum, though, really tries to help out when she can.



cberg
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06 Aug 2013, 8:37 pm

Annaliina wrote:
Aww this is amazing thread!

I was out with some friends, aquaitances actually, and we were getting coffee. They knew I'm autistic so they actively helped me engage in conversation. I also was shutting down and they asked if I was ok. They really paid attention to me and considered that things can be hard for me.

It was really kind ^^


That's actually quite the opportunity from my POV... I've never been asked that in any position where I couldn't avoid weighing on the person asking; something I can't imagine doing...


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-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


MathGirl
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06 Aug 2013, 8:44 pm

A lot of neurotypicals have been very kind, understanding, and considerate toward me. There are so many instances I can think of, that it would take a very long time to write them all here. However, sometimes it hurts when they do kind things, because I know they might be sacrificing their own pleasures in order to go with a less pleasurable alternative just for me. I guess I don't like having to be given special treatment, and making other people suffer because of my problems, although (as an NT told me) it's probably true that just the act of helping might make them feel good despite the sacrifice(s).


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LAlien
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06 Aug 2013, 8:53 pm

Nobody knows that I have Asperger's, because I am not diagnosed and I don't want to tell people that I have something and then it turn out not to be true (even though it is about 99.8 % certain that I have it).
My big brother will leave places that he has taken me if I start to freak out even a little bit, sometimes I don't even notice that I have started to freak out.
I had an english teacher with an autistic son, and lots of time, I would sit outside and read during class or if there was a movie playing. The first couple of times she came out and asked me what was wrong and I told her I couldn't be in there right then and I would be i soon if that was alright. She told me to come in when I was ready. She didn't let anyone else do this, and had asked me a couple of questions that I know are on the aspie quiz, so I think she thought I was autistic. She was very considerate, even though I really didn't like her at al.
I had a semi- friend in PE who, when we were having a drill and were all shoulder to shoulder in the locker room hall looked at me and said, "Is there anything I can to to make this better for you?" because I was holding my ears and wiggling my fingers and had backed into a corner. She stood in front of me and made sure nobody touched me. I didn't even completely melt down! I did hum quite a bit, though...
Most NTs are nice people, just like most aspies are nice people. There are just a lot of misunderstandings.


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GregCav
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06 Aug 2013, 9:56 pm

The people I work with know I have Aspgergers, they're about the only ones I know who make accomodation for me. They do this by shaking off (not taking offence [mostly] ) of the things I say.

I'm not trying to be rude or anthing, but I make some litteral observations. Like this morning one of the girls came in with her hair in a big bun sitting right on tope of her head. I said she looks like a character out of a Dr Seuss book. She was stunned for a bit, so I ropped one of the other guys in the office into the conversation. The whole thing was quite funny, but could easily have gone bad.

I only joke with the people I like.



Musicgirl
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06 Aug 2013, 10:46 pm

I am very thankful for the NTs God put in my life, especially my mother who has been there for me always. My friends don't know I have AS, but I know that if they did know, they would still love me because they are very kind-hearted and genuine people. They have been there for me through other difficulties or when I needed advice. I have also had friends stop me from making mistakes(especially social ones) and correct me when I did. I couldn't have asked for a better mom or better friends and I love them very much. :heart:



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06 Aug 2013, 10:54 pm

Annaliina wrote:
Aww this is amazing thread!

I was out with some friends, aquaitances actually, and we were getting coffee. They knew I'm autistic so they actively helped me engage in conversation. I also was shutting down and they asked if I was ok. They really paid attention to me and considered that things can be hard for me.

It was really kind ^^

You are right about this being an amazing thread. It is always great to have people who accept us and to talk about them.



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07 Aug 2013, 9:55 am

Time for another story. Now 9th grade in Junior High. Until this time i was the class pariah except i was very fair game for bullying and any other other abuse.

A bit of background beforehand, even though i grew up in a sports town and the school was named for a famous local sports figure, sports was not a big deal there. It was all social climbing and getting into the right clique. Pretty much meaning for me that my mere presence in the school was to them denigrating the "prestige" of the school.

At this time, the jocks were likely not happy with what was going on, and with that (either with good intentions or with an ulterior motive, i will never know), the influential members of the jocks decided i needed their protection and to be treated like a human. Two events early on saw a lot of changes. First in PE, i was given a chance to succeed in one of the activities be having one of the jocks rig it up for me to do so, as i was always set up to fail before. Then shortly later on, i was getting bullied on the school bus, i started to fight back - then one of the other jocks basically forced the bus to stop and then chewed out the bully and announced to the whole bus that such acts would no longer be tolerated. First time that the bully had to answer for their act instead of me.

i was getting mixed emotions, first that someone was actually looking out for me and treating me like a human, but still was suspicious that this could be a big setup by them and a big bad surprise would be coming from them. Later was amazed at the fact that it was not a big set-up to get at me.

Also at this time, i had my growth spurt and became a lot bigger in size, so i was no longer a scrawny little kid. So with that, i still had very little athletic talent but was told that the (American) football team at school had a need for more lineman (being the ones in the middle of the plays fighting each other for position, and a lot better suited for bigger people with less agility). So they finally convinced me to try out the following year.

Next year at high school, the jocks were still looking out for me and at football camp, i realized the head coach's philosophy was sports was a way to teach life skills more than to try to win games at all costs, unlike too many athletic coaches' philosophies. So he saw something special (in a good way) in me even though it wasn't anything athletic. With that, i made the team but rarely saw any playing action but was seen as a valuable member of the squad as i was grateful for the considerations and was demonstrating some good acts that ware perceived for others to follow.

With that i made it through high school OK, even if it meant no dating (the high-society types still had that influence) nor close friends.