Why is it OUR problem when we can't read you?

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The "open" way ASD people interact with others can perfectly account for all emotions in all situations. We all grow up with people telling us to be honest and to be ourselves. I find it very sensible and moral to be open and honest instead of manipulative, underhanded and two faced; and no doubt these are sentiments people claim to agree on. I am 22 years old and not once in my life have I been "inherently" disadvantaged (ie unable to express myself, in any danger) by following those. The ASD way of life is "turing complete". The only times it gets me into trouble are when NT people work on their economy of hints and implications and decide that there's something "weird" about me, or that my frankness makes them "uncomfortable".

Well NT people, if you say one thing and mean another, then that's called LYING. If you find it impossible to get through your life without deceiving everyone around you, that's not my problem, that's your problem. It doesn't take something on the DSM to be able to deal with others in an honest way, and if you're uncomfortable with people actually implementing it then you should stop decrying all the people in your life who mislead you, con you and trick you, because those are just the people who are beating you at your game.

Anybody with me?

Right with you, but not all NT people are like that; granted they have an easier time manipulating people, lying, and taking advantage of others, but not all of them do.
You're right though, being an ASD person means we're compelled to live an authentic life, to be true to our principles, and to care about honesty, integrity, and the impact of our behaviour on others.

I feel that at least in my case, my parents taught me morals, principles, and the importance of respect for others, but somewhere along the way I missed the lesson where they told me that all that was actually BS, and I should just look out for myself, and everyone else can go to hell; and that I should accept crap from them, but not from others.

Maybe they were subtle about it, I don't always get subtlety, or maybe I'm supposed to be loyal to them, regardless of how they treat me like crap.
The reality is in my case, I have learned to trust those that earn my respect, and those that wrong me are not given a second chance.
It may sound a bit harsh, but it's better than giving a second chance to someone that will only take advantage a second time.

From a very young age, I was taught by some people how to lie and manipulate. Some adults who were close to me were like that. I also had to lie and hide my Aspie traits so I learned to be deceitful. These are things I wish I had never learned because they are hurting me now. So it's not just NT's that struggle with this. And I know some NT's who are extremely honest, open and direct.

It's our problem because we're the ones who suffer because of it. Simple as that.

Farout, I want to make a poster of that post.

This is similar to me. As a young child I was surround closely by extremely manipulative people (the kind who lie, cheat, steal as a first nature, not even a second). So I grew up trying to learn how to be like that, because that was the "norm" for me. I also didn't know I had AS, so that's a factor.

Once I hit about 16/17(at this point I knew I had AS) I basically sat myself down, mentally, and decided to stop. Honestly, living that way* was the most uncomfortable thing and all I feel is relief now.

*it's worth mentioning that although I grew up in that environment, due to my AS nature I never actually grasped how to live that way and was merely forever trying. If you ask people around me, they'll say I've always been honest/blunt etc. So it was more that I just gave up trying.

As someone on the autistic spectrum, I often can't understand subtle communication. However, as someone with PTSD, I understand the need for it.

Because of my executive dysfunction, I tend to forget to bathe regularly, and need reminders to bathe.

If my parents tell me 'you need a bath', I will immediately start thinking 'oh, no, I stink, I'm an awful horrible disgusting person'. I can't help this reaction, it comes out of my PTSD. And it tends to result in me needing a lot of comfort and reassurance, rather than being able to take my bath. (If I took a bath in this state, I'd end up self-injuring in the bathroom.)

But if they tell me that I need to wash my hair, then I'll take a bath without getting upset, because my self-esteem isn't threatened by the idea of having dirty hair. And I usually bathe my whole body while washing my hair, so it accomplishes the same purpose without getting me upset.

Now, my own triggers are idiosyncratic and related to my PTSD. But everyone, PTSD or no, has triggers (I can assure you, AS people have these too, but in different areas than NTs). And most NTs have roughly the same triggers, and therefore can readily predict each other's triggers. Now, setting these off for a non-PTSD person typically has a less extreme effect, but it still tends to result in negative emotions.

If you know what a person's triggers are, and you know a way to accomplish the desired effect without setting these off, what's so wrong about doing that? It only causes problems when you're making an inaccurate assumption about a person. And for most NTs, it's not really lying, because the other NT knows what they really mean. Plus, sometimes a person would rather be lied to. They can't resist asking, but they really don't want the answer. (If my parents are angry at me, it's a bad idea for them to say they're angry, even if I ask directly. It will set off a panic attack. I'm terrified of people's anger, because I expect angry people to turn violent. If they're are angry at me, and I ask, it's safest to reply instead by telling me that they love me and aren't going to hurt me, which answers the unspoken question rather than the spoken one.)

NTs aren't doing this stuff to be manipulative and underhanded. They're doing it because it makes their interactions go more smoothly and reduces the likelihood of people getting hurt feelings. It only seems that way to AS people because they try to use the wrong 'language' for us.