Haven't got official diagnosis yet, BUT

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literally everything I have read on this forum and the MANY MANY MANY other resources that I have researched screams that this is what I have.

I am in the process of being evaluated (have taken the written tests and met with people at Center for Autism in Philadelphia already). I go back on Tuesday for the next phase of the diagnosis process.

I have taken every self diagnosis test I can find. They all say, I am on the spectrum. I've been in therapy off and on for years buy no one ever mentioned Aspergers. In 1979/80 I was in a mental hospital for 'adolescent adjustment disorder' - in other words I didn't act like other teenagers - and my parents thought there was something wrong with me - I spent 8 MONTHS there

If they come back and tell me, no you are not on the spectrum, I will actually be upset, because that means that whatever is wrong with me is still unknown. Sure I've been diagnosed as depressed, anxiety, social phobia, etc. but if I don't want to just be a weird, eccentric, loner with no tact.

I'm almost 53 years old so this isn't just a phase I'm going thru, this is the way I have always been though it has impacted my life in different ways as I've gone thru life.

I don't want to drone on too long, but I hope to be come back soon and say "I have been confirmed to have high functioning Aspergers". I guess I'm high functioning because I have a job, raised a kid (on my what an experience that was) and I live independently (because I could barely stand living with my own son. let alone another human - though I've tried).

I know a diagnosis won't change or 'fix' me, but it WOULD explain alot

I was the kid whose parents drove them around the neighborhood and said "why aren't you out playing with the other kids"

I am the adult who has no friends (maybe a few acquaintances)

I am the adult who has a full time job but has worked from home (not the office) for 4 years because I can't be around the atmosphere of the office and the NOISE (don't get me started on SOUND)

I do not, nor have I ever thought like other people do

Welcome to the Alternative Planet, sorry to hear you have had such poor experiences in the real world.

It's a tribute to you that you are able to keep a job, and to have raised a child. I've kept a job--but haven't had any kids. I was born in 1961, too.

8 months in a mental hospital for "adolescent adjustment disorder?" What a travesty!

If my parents went along with the prevailing wisdom of the 1960's, I'd have been institutionalized. Fortunately, my mother "saw something in my eyes," and worked to get me out of myself. I was nonverbal until age 5.

Mental hospitals are NOT good places. Sometimes, the therapy aides are more psychotic than the patients! (I'm fortunate to have never been admitted to one--but I've known people who were).

When I was a child, I was thought of as "brain-damaged," then one with "minimal brain dysfunction"--My: have times have changed!

What do you do for a living? I'm a data-entry clerk for the City of New York. I bet you're doing something more substantial

Is your kid on the Spectrum?

Welcome to the Forum. Have a nice day.

I was a computer programmer in my 20's. At that time, very very few women worked in tech.
It was a great job for my logical, rigid thinking mind. I usually worked alone. Today's tech jobs are in a totally different work environment.

Decided to have a kid on my own because I had no friends and was quite alienated from my parents (who are still living, about 30 miles from me, I haven't seen them since 2007, I'll hear from my mom on my birthday next month)

My son, who never met his father and from whom I never sought or received and support, is most definitely NOT an Aspie. I decided to have a kid because I wanted a chance to parent a child the way I wish my parents had done to me.

My son was a real challenge for me. Vocal, smart and active. I was so convinced that he'd be better off being raised by someone else that I put him in foster care for 8 months when he was 5. I had lots of therapy with a social worker and got my son back before he started 1st grade. In reality (and hindsight), he is everything I'm not, mostly in a good way. He always had tons of friends, never met a stranger and has self confidence that I know he didn't get from me. He is 24, a college grad and living in NYC. He's amazing.

I got laid off from my programming job after my son was born. I was out of work for 18 months. I got a job as a clerk for an agency of the Dept of Defense. A year later I got a promotion to budget analyst. Now I think my job title is business analyst. I've been there for almost 23 years, but I am at my wits end.

Working from home has been a godsend but the office politics and ridiculous business environment still infiltrates my life.

I find myself going nuts trying to deal with software, managers, etc that will not fix problems that have existed for years. Does not compute. I have been written up for been do demonstrative and confrontation in meetings (before I started working from home). I have been written up for doing work before I was told (not that it didn't need to be done, not that I did it wrong, not that I wasn't going to have to do it eventually, just because my boss hadn't gotten around to bothering to tell me to do it.

If I have to hear 'don't let it get to you' one more time, I'm going to explode

My entire sense of logic and order is tested every minute of every day.

Don't let it get to you LOL

Seriously, I'm glad you are proud of your son.

Working remotely has been a godsend for many, including those on the Spectrum.

What part of NYC does your son live? I live in Queens.

I don't like the office environment; I'm fortunate that I work night shift. I do all right by coming across as the "eccentric." I howl in the halls; I meow in my cubicle. They like my youthfulness despite my age. I'm the court jester that can't be messed with; I am the Wolfman

Just think about the pension that's coming to you; I sure am looking forward to mine!

Wow, A Mental Hospital, that's one indignity I was spared. My parents certainly knew I was far from normal, but I don't think they could have allowed themselves to believe I was mentally ill as long as I could speak and reason. Instead, my family just thought they could beat it out of me (both physically and psychologically).

Roger that. Here's hoping you get the answers you need. It does make a difference to be able to point to a specific source as the actual cause of your handicaps, after years of being told it's your own fault, as though you're choosing to be difficult and different, and constantly persecuted as an outsider.



Ah, NTs. You just wanna strangle 'em sometimes, dontcha? They're so stupid that way.

Like when they sit around laughing and gossiping all day long, while you actually focus on your job, then get mad when you're able to leave early and they have to stay late to finish what they should have had done hours ago.

Welcome.

You may be particularly interested in:

the In-Depth Adult Life forum: http://www.wrongplanet.net/forum32.html
the parents forum: http://www.wrongplanet.net/forum19.html

Of particular relevance, there is the recent thread on adult diagnosis: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt255649.html
and the "What is it about AS that makes people hunger for a diagnosis" thread: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt246111.html

As well as the threads about burnout...

Good luck with the evaluation process. I'm sure you will learn interesting things.

thank you all.

I want to wait until I get officially diagnosed (or not) to get too excited about having my 'ah, ha' moment.

I have 7 years until I can retire (unless they offer an early out)

Maybe I'm just antisocial, weirdo, nuisance, freak of society.

It's hard being alone in the crowd of the world.

My son lives in Brooklyn, works in Manhattan (he graduated from NYU)

He LOVES NYC. I HATE NYC. I can't stand even taking the train from Trenton. The crowds and noise of Manhattan are unbearable. My son loves it. My brother has lived there for 25 years. When my son was very little (starting at age 3) he would spend a weekend in NY with my brother. By age 12, I was letting him take the train from Trenton to Penn station by himself (no cell phone). the child had no fear. ever.

LOL.....I was taking the subway alone at age 8. The cell phone wasn't invented yet.

I do become overwhelmed by sensory input; I had to cover my ears when a train approached until my adult years.

I'm still not so great whenever I have to park my car in a mall--and other similar situations.

Seven years: Nifty!

I have to wait 8 3/4 years.

Center City Philly's pretty hectic as well. I once went there during one of their garbage strikes. Stayed at a nice hotel at about 13th Street (in Center City). Probably couldn't afford to stay there now. It had Victorian-type staircases and art.

I live in a part of Queens which is quite quiet; I live in a nice apartment complex. Near the Nassau County line. Sort of reminds me of a nice part of Upper Darby (I went there when I was about 15), except that part of Upper Darby had one-family homes. It snowed in Philly that day, about 4 inches,; only rain in New York LOL

I was a programmer in my 20's during the 80's in NYC and I do remember it was rough as hell for the few women in the field. The one women in our company was what we would call sexually harassed today by the owners (constant language no touching). She seemed to enjoy it and gave back as good as she got. Even then when that type of behavior was expected the other guy programmers figured it was an act and in our naivety wondered why she accepted it. We did nothing about it to save our jobs a matter I am still embarrassed and ashamed about.

To a more pleasant subject what language did you program in. We used Business Basic . We wrote and modified Accounting software. Sales Order, Accounts receivable programs that kind of thing.

I do hope you get a result that explains things for you. No matter what the result is you are always welcome here.

I had gone to a 6 month computer school where I learned Cobol, Fortran and RPG II

My working days were programming in Basic. I started out working for an insurance company and later worked in inventory & accounting work. Inventory management, accounts receivable/payable, etc.

One of the things that make me absolutely crazy is that the government has spent the last 10 years implementing SAP software with A LOT of customizing by Accenture. I'd like to get my hands on the people who fixed the healthcare.gov website so they could fix the monstrosity that our software has become.

The federal government is NOT the place to work for people like me who think logically. You'd think after spending nearly 5 BILLION dollars on software over the past 10+ years, we'd have a pristine product. Not so much.

Fortunately my relationship with my son is the best it's ever been. I can go months without seeing him, but we talk regularly (and email and text). Some folks think it's weird that I don't need 'face time' with him.