Stimming, can someone explain please?

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My daughter is 5 years old with moderate to high functioning autism. She stims all day long and I can't understand what's going on in her body/mind. I know "neurotypicals" stim by tapping, biting a pen/pencil, shake their legs, twirl hair etc., but autistic stims are so different. My daughter holds her breath, stiffens her body, wiggles her fingers in front of her face, opens her mouth in an eccentric way, and does it all day! It looks like a weird seizure occurring. She also jumps while flapping, holds her breath and looks up. It's like she's in a different world. Everytime I ask her why she's doing that, I get no response. Will she outgrow this? I don't mind the other stims, but the finger wiggling is stressing me out. Can someone explain please??!?!?! !

If you're a neurotypical person then it may be hard for you to understand/comprehend what stimming is and why your daughter does it. The best way I can describe it is, it's a form of biofeedback. It's an integral part of my thinking process. It help maintains rhythm, synchronization and choreography in my thinking process. If I don't do it. I tend to go through withdrawals and it just drives me crazy. My parents and school teachers hated me for doing this and would discipline me for it. But I had to do it or I would go stir crazy.

That skill may come in handy at the swimming pool. Have you taken her to the pool. She might like swimming underwater and being a little mermaid. I used to do a lot of underwater swimming and long breath holds when I was a kid.



She may not know how to give a response. She may not think that anything is wrong with doing it.



No. she will never outgrow it. But she will learn to control it better as she gets older. She just need to learn to do it when and where it's appropriate. Approach it like as if you where potty training her.

Last edited by LupaLuna on 07 May 2015, 12:57 am, edited 1 time in total.

For some, I think what it is, is mostly a method of controlling all of the otherwise uncontrollable sensory input that normally comes in at all times. The more overwhelming that input is, the stronger and more obvious/bizarre the stimming might be. It's there to distract from the confusing/overwhelming stuff, by creating very specific and obviously very controlled input (from the stimming) that can "override" some of the overwhelming stuff. Since the normal input from the surrounding environment tends to smash into most autistics MUCH harder than it ever hits those without autism, it ends up needing to be be more necessary, more frequent, and stronger. It can also be necessary if they're not getting ENOUGH input.

I certainly have enough such stims myself. For example, I might start making a sound like "vuh" at entirely random intervals. Why that specifically? Heck if I know. Or when strongly overwhelmed I might take one hand, and grip my other arm/shoulder in such a way as to dig my nails into it, pretty hard. Again, heck if I know why it has to be that... it just does.

And it may or may not be something she will grow out of (probably not though, at least from what I've seen). Autistics of all ages do things like these, some more extreme than others. You'll find examples of this all over this very forum, and there might be many different reasons for why a given person does it or how it works for them. But in the end, it's just a method of coping with things that are otherwise very difficult to handle.

As for the part about getting no response when you ask why she's doing that, ah, the best explanation is that it can be hard to interact or focus on anything else other than the very specific things that are overwhelming you at a time when that's happening strongly enough to require that stimming behavior. All that input is simply too overwhelming, and more of it (such as someone talking) sort of... doesnt fit into the mind during that. There's too much stuff already there. I can get a bit locked up like that myself depending on what's going on.

Hm, that explanation comes out phrased not quite right, but it's the best way I can think of to explain it right now.

It all has to do with that we process things differently in our brain. We react strongly to things others are unaware of. Brightness, sounds, smells, textures etc. Things like wiggling fingers in front of face helps to feel grounded in place and is soothing. It's really about a feeling of control and gratification and comfort. A coping mechanism. I stim less than I did when little. I will lessen my stims when someone points it out. A lot of times when my stimming gets exaggerated my dad will say to me to relax or rub my shoulders. I have a lanyard clipped to my belt loop that I twist and wrap around my fingers to help me not do more exaggerated stimming that distracts other kids in class.

I would check for sensory input that might be overstimulating/overwhelming her. As she grows older she might be able to explain what is going on.

I might have good insight into this since lately I've begun stimming a lot more than I ever recall doing. I do it when I am stressed. I feels like a compulsion and doing it is soothing. I often though don't realize that I am in a state of stress when I start, only when I do it and I start to feel calmer. When it's really bad and I want to punch the wall, hit myself or something else pretty bad, I am in some sort of mental anguish. It's like there's a caged animal in me that needs to be released and stimming is the easiest, least brain intensive way of dealing with it.

More 'normal' ways of dealing with such things would be like, listening to really loud music, going for a sprint, punching your pillow. Except that one can't do those things at any moment in time; but one can always self-stimulate somehow. And the thing is that normal people will not encounter such a feeling of release or something on such a regular basis as she does. Like, for instance, when you ask her why she does it she doesn't answer you because at that moment in time she might not be able to access the talking parts of her mind properly, or she might not understand it herself (that's me). I have so many thoughts in my head, but for me to put them out there and talk about myself at any given point in time is hard enough when I'm not stressed at all. The process of making words does not come easily when the words pertain to myself, at all.

Even answering this post is hard to do accurately, because I can't quite pinpoint why I do it, only that I do it and to not do it actually makes my internal state feel much much worse. It's paradoxical and crappy; don't act out and it feels worse, but at those points in time, people are not concerned about you in the least, and I don't have the concept of why it is to be able to explain it.


Heh just tried the holding my breath thing...holding my breath and pushing at least, IS pretty soothing. Without the pushing it doesn't feel nice. But pushing with my diaphragm outwards, that's nice. I like resistance though-as a kid the bed was often next to a wall, and I would fall asleep pushing on it in someway.