Have to Attend a Wedding Tomorrow

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I'd get out of it, but it's my long-time friend's daughter's wedding and I'm sitting at a family table. I have met some of them before, but otherwise, I know no one. It is inevitable that I will say something inappropriate or embarrassing, but my main goal is not to do so because I have drunk too much. My usual first instinct in situations of multiple people is to drink. Although most weddings I've been to seem to be an opportunity for everyone to get drunk and make asses of themselves. Still though . . . I will try to leave as soon as I can get away with it, I think.
The main problems are that I just can't talk to more than one person at a time and I can't transition from one person to another quickly. It gets to the point where every fiber of my existence wants to flee the environment. And then I feel worse because everyone else seems to be relaxed and convivial.
My friend will never know what a challenge I'm facing. She knows I have autism, but she doesn't really "get it."

1
Do NOT consume any alcohol. Not a drop.

2
While it'll be a busy day, take a moment to speak to your friend privately and say "With my autism, situations like this are pretty overwhelming for me. I hope I don't say anything inappropriate. I might have to leave a little early it it all gets too much for me. Don't take it the wrong way, tho'. I really appreciate you including me like this."

Then DO leave a bit early.

Within a day or two, send a thank you card to your friend saying how much you enjoyed being at the wedding, especially being included like family.

Think any of this will help?

I think leaving early will be the key to any success. My friend knows from past experience that I often leave abruptly and early. So I don't need to tell her that. I think she would be surprised if I stayed late.
Although good advice, it is unlikely that I won't have a glass of wine; but it is possible that I will still stick to my plan of leaving early. Especially if I entice myself home with the promise of more wine (and comfortable shoes.)
These events always leave me feeling alienated; I hope it's not a long ceremony.

Yeah, I wouldn't make her deal with your Autism on her wedding day. Just leave early. Kiss her goodbye on the cheek, smile and hit the road.

What I hate most, I think, is the mingling ... when strangers come up and start asking stuff like what your job is and where you live, yada yada. "Well, I'm on disability and I live with my mother and have a paper route." That should end any conversation quickly. Honestly, why do they think it's any of their business?

My deepest sympathies.

Say "I am in transition" NT code words for unemployed. Indirect yes, but they are NT's

It's all in what you tell yourself. If you keep telling yourself you can't do this and are not good at it then you won't be. I find myself in similar situations and I try to change my thought process. A good book to read is called Thoughts and Feelings by Matthew McKay.

People ask questions about your job etc. not bc they are trying to pry but because they are interested in getting to know you better. Usually the person asking the questions is the one controlling the conversation so one way to avoid having to answer those questions is to think of some questions you can ask them before you go.

Also find someone at your table who seems talkative and try to initiate conversation with that person because they will keep the conversation going. There's also nothing wrong with just sitting there and listening. A lot of people do that.

Overall though, just be yourself. We all say stupid things from time to time regardless but most people are forgiving and if they are not then oh well. Nothing ventured nothing gained. You will be ok. Sometimes the anticipation is worse than the actual event.

I had to attend a long time friends wedding a few months ago and let me tell you, I was freaking out. I had to travel to go to it (which I hate traveling) and I didn't know about 95% of the people there, the 5% I knew were high school people I haven't seen since high school and they weren't friendly with me back then. Thankfully it actually went better than I expected. I actually had some fun. I don't drink, so I don't have the getting drunk problem. I just sat at my table and people watched for the majority of the time and chatted here and there with the people at my table, which were all very nice people. Some of the high school people who I was concerned about actually approached me and were really nice to me, and once in a while they would just make comments while passing by like "WOO I love this song! Come out and dance!". Weddings usually bring out the best in people and I wouldn't worry about going!

1. Don't worry. Worry leads to fear, fear leads to poor judgement, poor judgement leads to bad decisions, and bad decisions lead to ur screwed. What i'm trying to say is remain calm.


2. Be sure to dress nice and get ur dance moves on for the after-party. Bring a tissue for the emotional speech that the flowergirl and bestman give to the bride and groom. And if theres a photo booth, don't forget to stop by and take pictures.

Thank you robin.

ASPartOfMe, I can't sell transition. I'm terrible at using code language.

Yes, I think that is my best strategy.


This is the way to go.


I'm trying to look at it as working. Just something to get through.

After-party and photo booth are not going to happen. If I'm still there for dessert, it will be a shock.

I've found that if I keep my expectations reasonable, it can help me not to be disappointed in myself when I fail to connect. So I will treat it as work.

Argh poor you.
Remember to congratulate the bride and groom. Smile. When strangers endeavoring to be polite ask awkward question smile and say "Its all going well thanks, how about you ?" Then make out you're interested in their life so you don't have to field questions about yours... If you don't know what to do next ask an elderly woman "what do we do now ?" they usually know all the in's and out's of social ceremonies and also where the tea and coffee is. Good luck.

f**k!

Thank God it's over. What a bunch of consumerist nonsense. I managed to leave before I got drunk. Now I'm smoking my way to serenity. Again, f**k! I so hate these things. Like trying to live out some stupid fairy tale.

But it's over and this is the last wedding I will ever attend.