Autism Confusion

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I'm reading some threads, coming across Autistic people saying they get along well in society. I'm confused about how you can be Autistic if you get along well in society. Isn't not getting along well in society one of the criteria? I'm not trying to be exclusionary or anything, but I don't get it. I don't actually know for fact I have Autism, but that societal problem is the reason I have thought I do for so long.

I think some people adapt as such they are able to get along and function well.

The Social/Communication block of DSM-5 ASD criteria are these:

Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts, as manifested by the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive, see text):

1. Deficitis in social-emotional reciprocity, ranging, for example, from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back-and-forth conversation; to reduced sharing of interests, emotions, or affect; to failure to initiate or respond to social interactions.

2. Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction, ranging, for example, from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication; to abnormalities in eye contact and body language or deficits in understanding and use of gestures; to a total lack of facial expressions and nonverbal communication.

3. Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships, ranging, for example, from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit various social contexts; to difficulties in sharing imaginative paly or in making friends; to absence of interest in peers.

There is nothing in criteria about "getting along well in society", whatever that means.

Social communication is what I meant when I said getting along in society. Being able to read social cues, form long lasting relationships (healthy two way relationships at that). Being able to have a conversation without frequently getting yourself into trouble.

What you quoted sounds like exactly what I am talking about - so how are people saying they are Autistic when they can navigate that social stuff? I know people learn to cope, but if you learn to cope with it, then did you ever have autism or were you just a slower social learner? I mean, I'm just curious. I'm not diagnosed myself, I'm just wondering.

All of my high-functioning autistic research participants ranging in age from 20s to 60s can have conversations with me and other researchers.

Some have long-lasting relationships, spouses, children, and most have friends.

Reading basic social cues doesn't seem to be problem for them.

Most have jobs, careers, college graduates or college students.

But they do have behavioral traits of autism that can be observed by trained clinicians (I am not clinician), and some score above autism or spectrum cutoff on official tests like ados.

Cognitively or neurologically, there are differences that researchers are measuring and studying, and on our current cognitive eggsperiment, there are differences between autism and neurotypical groups.

I was classically autistic child who didn't interact or communicate, but I grew up to learn to do these things in my own ways, while still lacking neurotypical social cognition.

Autism isn't a light switch, where you either are everything known to typify an autistic, or you aren't, like it's on or off. Autism is a spectrum where the various symptoms of autism can be present in varying degrees. Some autistics, for example, are VERY sensitive to being touched, especially by strangers, and may react very badly. Others may handle it better, at least on the surface.

People are individuals. Again, autism isn't a light switch type situation where either you are or you aren't. Some people are so high-functioning where they slip thru the cracks and may end up not diagnosed as autistic until well into their adult years.

Where a person is on the spectrum involves not just one measurement of "autism", but rather a measurement of many things in how they think and react, and how they vary from the norm and edge toward the autistic in those things.

If you've met one autistic (especially a high-functioning one), you've met just that....ONE. Each person on the autism spectrum varies in what Neuro-typicals would think of as "strengths and weaknesses". Each is unique. You may have a more stereotypical idea of what an autistic person is supposed to be like, and may need to broaden your horizons a little.

I think we all know this, it's not what I was asking.

It's not about being able to converse, it's about being able to hold conversations in life the way life demands them one after another after another without getting into trouble. I guess I'm just wondering where the line is drawn.

Myself, I doubt I would ever qualify for a diagnosis, I'm way too high functioning. I would probably be cut off as far as diagnosis is concerned, yet I'm socially impaired. But I have a job and I converse all day long, if I couldn't I would get fired. So yeah, I can converse, but it's like I'm running a lifelong marathon with a cast on my leg.

So apparently I think I have an Autism that doesn't technically exist.

But like when people say, I've always been able to be social, what does that mean? Are they faking understanding social cues? But if you don't know how to read a social cue, how can you fake it? It's like faking reading a foreign language.

Maybe someone who is going through this in life can help me understand. (Maybe I can start doing it too)! I really suck at it.

On this forum, there is no real cutoff, it's more like if I identify as being Autistic, I am accepted as such. But in the diagnosis world, there is a cutoff. This confuses me somewhat.

What really is Autism?

Is that too many questions at once?

You would have to live in a bad area or be somewhere where there are bad people, people who are narrow minded or homophobics or lose their tempers easily, are bullies, etc.

I rarely run into a bad person. I guess the more sociable you are, the more of them you will see.

It also depends on what you mean by getting along with people. To me it just means you always get into fights and always argue and people always get mad at you and you always get mad at them and you and them are dysfunctional people who can't stop fighting and you or them have to walk on eggshells to get along or not say anything at all to get along and only spoke when spoken too to avoid trouble. It can also mean people are always annoying you and making you mad and you do the same to them. Yeah there are very few people who I truly can't get along with I avoid them and not talk to them. But those people have issues they need to fix so I know it's them, not me. It's the same with NTs too.

When I say that I can socially interact, it means that I can have back and forth conversation for several minutes in duration while oblivious to most social cues and probably saying several weird things within short time interval, not that I can behave completely like neurotypical female or socialize for long periods of time while understanding lots of social cues.

Isn't that like saying if a dyslexic person has learned to read and cope, did they have it in the first place?

Or me saying if I learned to be more calm in situations and handle them better instead of freaking out and melting down, did I have anxiety in the first place or was I just a slow learner at coping?

To me being social means hanging out with people, going out with your family or a friend, talking to someone.

Autism doesn't mean not being social. It means there is an impairment in it. You can be social and still be impaired in it. I know someone with autism and he is very sociable and has lot of friends but they are all young kids or older adults or his old teachers and he loves to talk, even to strangers and online too. He isn't even shy either and he thinks the higher functioning you are, the more shy you are because you are worried about messing up or getting someone upset or crossing the line and because he is lower functioning and has emotions of a four year old, he thinks that is why he isn't shy and why he is so sociable.

Months ago I met a LFA guy who is 19 and he doesn't talk much and is mostly non verbal but one doctor said he wasn't autistic just because he loves to be social. His way of socializing is being around people even though he doesn't talk or have a conversation. I said to the mother having autism doesn't mean not being sociable, it means impairment in social communication and have restricted behavior and interests.he was diagnosed by the same psychiatrist who diagnosed me and it was around the same year too.

I'm not sure how this works, I think anxiety is different from Autism in that Autism is a difference in the brain. Behavior modification can cure anxiety (sometimes), it can't cure Autism, which is kind of my point. About dyslexia, i don't know enough about it.

However, I don't feel like having Autism gives me any extra points in life, so if somebody scanned my brain and said I didn't have it, I would only feel bad in the sense that now I know Nothing about why I have these problems not so much as a teeny clue. But I would still have the problems. These are only medical questions, I'm not trying to demerit anyone by asking them.

I don't fight with people all the time, but I annoy people because I can't read/speak their language and they annoy me because I hate being in such extremely close proximity to them but am forced to because I have a job (which I am of course fortunate to have).

I don't know who is holding all this knowledge of what Autism is, but it seems to me like everybody on this site has a different opinion and when you read the stories about what different psychologists say, they clearly have a lot of different definitions also.

This was really helpful. I forget sometimes that all Autistic people aren't solitary by nature.

When I was 12 years old, I didn't even know that other ppl can read emotions just by looking at someones face.

But I was most of the time socially accepted, because I was shy, but I always tryed being nice actually, never bothered anyone with my interests (exept my mom ^^) and didn't annoy anyone with my routines (exept my family o.O). If I didn't like something, I left and did my own thing.
That's propably why I learned a lot of social stuff over the years, also ppl I knew explained a lot to me over the years, because when I behave wrong, I tell them most of the time I didn't know better, they explain it to me and I try to behave differently next time.

Now my social understanding is still not 100% normal, BUT meeting me noone would think that I've ASD, exept some experts or something maybe. But if you know me better, you can still notice it.
I actually like talking to the ppl in my work and we sit together after work very often. When we talk about work it works, but when it comes to a more private level I've difficulties what to say to not sound strange.

But I was most of the time in my life socially accepted in integrated into social groups.

Certain autistic people can learn to be social in the neurotypical way by learning about social skills by observation, reading about it etc. Autistics are acting the part. It is natural for the neurotypical.

This powerful emotional video by a danish aspie really explains the concept.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFxWdpuyY6o[/youtube]

By 'autism' I'm presuming they're meaning Asperger's syndrome. I think it's best to differentiate between the two, as even though asperger's is technically a form of autism, labeling oneself as autistic evokes generalizations about severity.

Nobody really knows I have asperger's. I'm quiet and shy, but I have managed to learn how to behave neurotypically in public. In fact one of my friends came over to me at school the other day and began saying about how she was speculating that a girl in our year level has asperger's. I sort of confided in her that I had a diagnosis back when I was 12 and she was genuinely surprised, saying that I have like no symptoms and she even asked if I had outgrown it.

I mean, I've dated, had sexual relationships, gone to parties, taken drugs and alcohol - all things that normal teenagers engage in. And I'm likely to continue to learn how to fit in more as I grow up. I think that assuming everybody on the Autism spectrum is unsuitable for society is a gross generalization, and simply not true.