Not one thing or another

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Hi,

Lately I am feeling more and more like "I am not one thing or another". No matter where I go I'm not like other people.
I appreciate that everyone is unique, but this is ridiculous.

At the moment, I definately feel like I'm on the wrong planet. If aliens came down, and they were friendly I'd be the first to get on-board. Get me out of this place.

Songs like this one are all that are are keeoing me going at the moment:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkCVMEpn4-g[/youtube]

Oh I don't fit anywhere either. It doesn't help that I don't share the popular belief systems in society (ie I don't believe that there is such a thing as worthlessness or a worthless life...there is just life, I don't agree with hierarchy, I don't the notion of inferior and superior and prefer equal but different and so on).

I can't be arsed to keep judging people...it makes lift boring and shite. I am really more interested in popping to the coast to take pictures, studying sharks and tinkering with my tapestry whilst trying to get back into health and fitness as I need to lose some weight so that I have more energy to indulge my hobbies. Yet to fit in I seem to have to constantly sit and judge people, gossip or get into debates that are designed to masturbate the ego rather than develop understanding and knowledge (someone always has to be the only one who is right because it makes them feel superior to be so, not because they really want to understand something or learn something new).

Add to that I am odd, just plain odd with a tendency to see things differently and I don't really fit anywhere or with anyone.

I feel so damned alone some days.

Hi bumble,

Thank you for your reply.

Reading what you wrote has inspired me to re-start my old hobby of countryside & coastal photography. The main reason I stopped going on my own for days out to be at one with nature is because other people told me that I should do things that are more sociable.
The thing is that I absolutely love just going into the countryside where it is tranquil. Listening to the birds, hearing the wind russling the leaves in the trees, the smell of the forest, watching & listening to the water trickling over the stones in a brook or stream. Putting my hand into the water and feeling the cold flow. Connecting with nature, and feeling at perfect peace.
At one time I used to sometimes take a tent & camp out. I enjoyed it so much. Cooking my dinner on my camp stove under the stars. Going with a freind/friends isn't the same as the requirement to verbally interact spoils the relaxation. Also, it frightens away a lot of the wildlife, as well as because someone else is there I'd feel a bit silly doing stuff like reaching out and touching a flower, feeling and smelling the ground, running my hand over the bark of trees to feel the texture, trying to 'connect' with the wildlife and just blending in with it. Losing myself & becomming one with everything.

So thank you bumble for reminding me how great it feels to just go on walks by myself to the coast & countryside.