What I found helped the fire feeling go away was to invalidate myself. I would think to myself, they refer to you as 'he', as your coworker just did. Your therapist refers to you as 'he'. In no way are you assimilated as a woman. Also, you are not fit for surgery; surgery is not medically necessary, and you wouldn't qualify for it either, having a history of psychotic disorder and being irresponsible to the point where you probably wouldn't dilate correctly. As I think that, I feel more at peace, and I feel like I have better grounding. To maintain it, however, I have to continue to concentrate, to think these invalidating things.