How to I avoid smalltalk from cashiers without looking rude?

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When I buy stuff in a store having to wait in line where the cashier moves at the pace of a slug or starts talking on the phone is bad enough, but when the cashier asks me questions or makes comments about what I buy I get really uncomfortable. For example there's this store I go to buy fabric and stuff mostly for making my handmade dolls and they always have to ask me what I'm going to make with the fabric, and for some reason I don't like to tell them it's for doll-making. Another time at the grocery store I bought one of those "multi-cat" bags of kitty litter and the cashier exclaimed "Oh my god, how many cats have you got?!" I told her I only have two, but the way she acted you'd think I owned at least ten of them. Or they ask me if the food I'm buying is any good or make their own comments about how it tasted themselves. I can imagine they're just trying to be friendly by attempting conversation and it must be incredibly boring being stuck behind a counter all day, but I don't know why they to have be so nosy. So when they ask me stuff or attempt to smalltalk and I don't want to answer, how do I do it without looking rude, unfriendly, or that I have some deep dark secret that I have to hide?

Just make a generic answer to everything. You don't have to tell them the truth. I don't like it either when they try to make conversation as it's very fake.

I don't think it matters too much about appearing off or rude as you'll probably never see them again if it's in a big supermarket.

I remember once a cashier giving me a very awkward look because I told her I bought some rose wine for a wedding present.

In the Post Office now for some reason they ask you what you're sending. I really hate it.

I hate businesses where the cashier is required to ask you for your phone number or zip code, so the company can bombard you with spam ads and junkmail.

The small talk I can usually sidestep with a word or two, but I do find it annoying to be asked none-of-your-business questions and I really couldn't care less about the cashier's personal opinions. I really would prefer them to SThFU and pay attention to the register, so I don't get overcharged when they ring something up twice because they were busy flapping their gums.

Lol in my area they're completely the opposite, they hate having to say more than "necessary". xD

Maybe I'm spoiled. The cashiers at the supermarkets near me don't say a word when I come to the register with my purchases. I usually buy in bulk, so approaching the register with 100 cans of Chef Boyardee foods or 30 boxes of frozen foods is common. One lady did comment, "Preparing for a zombie apocalypse?" But other than that, none, really.

They do this especially when you return something. The last time it happened to me and I got spammed, I sent a complaint and didn't get any more spam. I guess not every business would have to be honest like that though.

Be short with your word but be polite.

You can usually follow a script and that's not too draining, but most cashiers are used to having people ignore them. They may think you are mildly rude, but they won't take it personally--if they did, they wouldn't be able to keep their jobs, since they have to deal with much worse than people just being preoccupied with their own thoughts and not replying to, "Did you find everything all right today?"

However, if you are wearing headphones or using a cell phone, remove the headphones and/or put down the phone. You don't want to actively ignore the cashier. They are human, too, and you should give them the respect you can give them, send a message like, "I am preoccuiped", rather than, "I don't think of you as a real human." You do need to be paying some attention in case they ask you an important question or tell you something noteworthy. If you can't do this, you probably need to hand them a card explaining the problem (I'm autistic, sometimes nonverbal, I have trouble talking and may not understand, etc.). Or you could shop with someone else present to handle the communication.

If you were NT and fully capable of effortless small talk, I'd say, don't ignore the cashier; but for an autistic person who's just been through a grocery store, sometimes you have to conserve your resources while minimizing the potential for giving the impression that you do not care about the cashier's feelings.

I just give single word responses. Usually they won't say anything after "How are you today?" "Good." But the extra chatty ones will shut up too after a few curt answers. If they remark on something I've purchased and it's not a direct question then I ignore them.

Just over a year ago when I found out that I has AS was because a psychiatrist on his lunch break had spotted be trying to avoid small talk with the cashier at Starbucks.

That is a unique way of findng out. I like this

ask them what they think it'd be good for OR say " I haven't really decided yet"



Try "How many do you think this bag is good for?" or just something really factual like "enough to be buying this" or "yeah there is a smaller bag isn't there? well I think I'll get this".



Say: It's good enough for me. (implying you don't know about them or their preferences and so can't really answer)

OK my answers are all a little sassy and maybe you don't want to use them. I think though really the cashier in a general way is just asking for information that they in some way might use. If I know how big the kitty litter bag is and how many cats you have, it gives me an idea of how much they use (though I don't know how long it would take to go through -- but if I ask maybe you will tell ...). I guess maybe you have different ways of gathering sort of general information but what I think you are doing by avoiding small talk is just making a bunch of people feel like they can't exchange information with you. Maybe you will never need to exchange information with them, but if you did have a question about the store, and you had talked to the cashier before, it's so much easier to be able to go to that cashier who you have a history of small talk with and ask them your question.

Last edited by realityIs on 21 Oct 2013, 5:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

Exactly


No it's not. It very well might be a dumb useless conversation or it might lead to an interesting exchange of information. It's impossible to know when you start but small talk can lead to real stuff.



Security reasons?
Different rates for different stuff?
Insurance related?

If they are always doing it and everyone is doing it then surely there is a reason...

Classic

Wow what did they say to you? I can't believe they approached you to say something about it.

Actually, you're right. I never know how to lead on from it though. I guess that's my problem



Perhaps. They brought out guidelines about what you couldn't send in a leaflet though, which they handed out to regulars. I'm a regular and they still ask me. There aren't different rates for different things, it's to prevent you sending things like a powerful laptop with a battery exceeding a certain limit, or fireworks etc.

OK mine too. I am in a foreign country and in my second language I have troubles too. I am really slow to pick up what people are inferring at.
So what happens it that it often stays at relatively meaningless small talk. The thing is though, I then know when I have something I want to say, I can go to those people I've done the small talk with. I guess my friends are the people I can talk to. It's not like they really like talking to me though. Two native speakers have a much different conversation than I as a non-native can have. The thing is though it's interesting to them because it is different than the conversations they usually have.




Sheesh, that is annoying. In that case I don't wait for them to ask and I would just tell them what's inside to kinda say hey yeah I know your rules now quit harassing me about it.