No Autistic Supremist

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I admit I was close to it. I am having a rough time. Petrified that the tests next week will not show an improvement with the chemo. A good friend of mine was put on life support. lJ has been having more problems with his neurological pain, didn't have enough money in my account for health insurance [thank god for overdraft protection] but, on the bright side, I was near sliding into a position of autistic supremacy, but, thanks to the meanest, nastiest, most vile person I have ever had the displeasure of meeting, that is no longer an issue.

IWhen seeking a bit of emotional support from a new member of my GRASP group, I was treated more cruelly and "less than" by an Autistic I had just met , than i have ever been treated by any NT I hadn't known well. I guess my emotional pain was disgusting .

Now, he does not exhibit emotions because that is" weakness, chaos and lack of focus". I am totally illogical and SELFISH because I am putting this mini-retreat together when there is a chance this cancer might take me out before the retreat takes place [ which is one reason I am working so hard to find sponsors and will not take a penny from anyone planning to attend until they actually arrive for the retreat] I am also selfish because the chemo seriously lowers my intelligence and how selfish and convulated in my thinking I must be to think that any high functioning autistics would wish to spend time with me.

He is disgusted by the kind of Autistic who has not used their mental abilities[ he is an incredible writer and has had his own succesful television show for 22 years] to overcome any executive dysfunction, sensory dysfunction, social inabilities or use the excuse of autism not to be in superb shape[ he's a body building champion] Oh, and why have I not healed myself.

I had been getting to a place where I was putting all autists on a ridiculously high pedestal. This guy, though, just diagnosed at the start of the year at 50 years old, could give my family a run for the money as far as meanness goes.

I know that I am rambling and giving no details of the confrontation, but I am too upset.

I'm really scared, guys. My youngest son and husband are not nearly close to ready for me to be gone. I'm scared and not doing so great with that this week. I would appreciate any words of encouragement and PLEASE, no slams.

I'm sending good vibes and blessings to you and everyone who's responsible for taking care of you.

thank you so much. that is exactly what I need to hear.

Autism doesn't dictate character, just how we process things. There's good and bad. I wouldn't take any notice of the guy, he sounds like a bunch of issues. I'm sad to hear about your situation. It must be very trying. I hope that everything works out for you and your family.

I used to work with a guy on the spectrum who was like that except he didn't have his own TV show and I'm not sure if he's gone to college. One time, he asked me if I thought of fighting my autism. I told him that there's nothing for me to fight and that I'd rather celebrate it because it makes me the unique individual that I am.

I'll pray for you and your family as well.

Hi Vicky,

I'm sorry this guy was mean to you at a time like this. I sent you a private message. xxo <3

Yeah, he sounds like an ass. And I don't mean he's socially clumsy and said things that happened to offend by accident; I mean that he just doesn't care if he hurts somebody else.

Well, look on the bright side--if an autistic person decides they don't care about other people, at least it's (usually) obvious. NTs tend to be more sneaky. Just stay away from that guy--he's not worth your time.

That guy, autistic issues, any other issues should be secondary to your fight with cancer at this point, a fight I am rooting for you to win.

I hear ya. My ex was like this.

Thank you all soooooo much. You have no idea what a negative affect this had on me. My situation plus the meds I am on AND being hyper sensitive as well, I was frightenend that I might wind up in that all-too-familiar pit. You angels broke the fall. I love you all.

Vicky

I complain a lot how it in many ways it is harder to be autistic now then then we were growing up. While all those complaints are valid in my view the invention of the internet forum has been a godsend for situations like this. If you have not done it yet find a good cancer or your type of cancer forum and commiserate.

vicky i wish i could offer more but it breaks my heart and angers me immeasurably that anyone would speak to you or treat you like this, or that you are dealing with such serious illness at the same time. you are a deeply good person with a wonderful heart and spirit who is a gift to this earth and your very presence on this board has been a balm to my very pained soul. i hope you can get past the hurt you must feel and know that for every sadist on this earth there must be an angel like you. i wish i could be there in person just to hold your hand and give you a hug. thank you for being my friend.