Found out a former co-worker that bullied me passed away

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It's been years since I worked with the guy but I found out he passed away. Everyone at work was all " Boo Hooing"over him " he was a great guy, blah blah" . He had always treated me like first class s--t, gossiped that I was an R word, that I looked like a workplace shooter, and other stuff. I reported him to HR a couple times for his behavior and I heard he told a couple people that if he ever saw me public he would " f--- me up". It was such a relief when he went to another job.

TBH, I had not even though about him in a long time but when I heard the news, I took some pleasure in it and thought Karma is a MF'er isn't it? my own view is, he sucked in life, he sucks in death, and he sucks forever as far as I am concerned. No loss at all.

From what I know, he lost control of his car and flipped it, then went right into a deep ditch. So not sure what happened but at least I know there isn't any way he's ever going to bother me again.

If I had a former coworker who bullied me like that and said those things about me and they passed away and everyone was talking about how great a person they were, I'd be feeling the same way that you are right now.

Sweet Pea hugs

It's been years since I was bullied by a certain individual, too.  He died of an inoperable brain tumor.  I feel sadness, but only for the fact that he never tried to make amends for his behavior.

What becomes of the soul of a man who dies unrepentant?

I know how you feel. One of my bullies died five years after we graduated together. He was drunk and high on drugs while driving a car of his druggie friends when he smashed into a minivan with a family inside. He was going the wrong way on the interstate. Killed everyone but him. He got out to flag someone down and was ran over by an incoming truck. He survived five hours on the operating table before succumbing to his injuries.

When I heard he had died, I was ecstatic, over the moon. However I did feel remorse about the family he killed in his actions. If he would have survived, he would have gotten at least seven counts of vehicular manslaughter. As others have said, karma can be a b@tch. I rarely think of him, as that happened over twenty years ago.

Oh wow.. that's awful.

Yeah, he never apologized or repented in any for his behavior. I'm celebrating in a way because he put me through so much BS and nearly got me fired once. His lies, nastiness, and obnoxiousness just made my blood boil. I won't miss him.

bullying causes deep seated anxiety on so many levels (being bullied). I have been out of high school for over 50 years. I recently learned that one of the people who had been my worst attacker passed away and all I could feel was relief. Trauma can last that long. I do understand. It is hard to observe traditional practices when somebody who has only caused distress in your life passes. Perfectly understandable to those of us who have shared similar experiences at the hands of a bully.

Since all my bullying stopped when I "lost it" in high school, I cannot imagine any of my bullies NOT having grown up.
I have a strange feeling that I've forgiven them, yet think victims have every right to maintain a grudge.
Ain't payback a b!tch ?

I have another bully death story that fits this topic. He used to mistreat me a lot in middle school and high school. Well, three years after he graduated there was an accident on his family’s farm. He and another guy from the same class were scooping out a grain bin. The grain underneath them gave way and suffocated them much like quicksand. They had been warned not to stand on the grain. I felt bad about the other guy, as he was always nice to me, not so much for the bully.

R., my ex bully from elementary school contacted me once two years ago and he behaved like nothing happened: "Hi, M. , haven't we been in the same class in elementary school?"

"Yes but what's the matter? And why are you contacting me? We weren't the best of friends back then, after all" I asked - he... didn't answered. I wish he did, I'd LOVE to tell him I have a disorder that caused me to be different, not like everyone else around me - yes, once when he, together with M., his best buddy who was even worse than him in this respect, were teasing me, I asked them why they were doing this - we were 14 then.

"Because you aren't like us" - the answer was.

Well, I wish both of them finally managed to find out why I was - still am - different

But they didn't - until they ever happened to read something on ASD and managed to associate the disorder with me, their weird ex classmate.

But they are still alive, they are only 40. Who isn't alive though is my elderly ex lecturer from college I attended, whom I truly hated, he was evil. I was very glad when some time ago I found out online he died like two years earlier. And I would be glad if something bad happened to my elementary school bullies too.

How are you supposed to miss people who bullied or abused you? I know people expect you too "Oh he was just a person! He made mistakes like everyone else but he was really a good person!" But I'm sorry, I can't feel anything but relief when I find out someone who bullied or abused me has passed away.

I'd like to pop open a bottle of Champaign for each of my elementary or high school bullies who might have passed away.

It's not that I'm gloating when people who were school bullies pass on. I do take an interest. One thing autism has allowed me to do is learn from the mistakes of others. Oh, sure I have made plenty of my own mistakes. However, I lost count of the number of times I've looked at some of the choices that the allegedly "smart" people have made which caused them grief, and decided to pay attention to that. It led to some good things.

One thing about the bullies in my school is that some of them lived life like it never was going to be better. In other words, high school was the high point of their lives. And they spent a lot of that time taking risks, doing drugs, and doing crimes. Because everything was theirs to take, they invested nothing in their futures. One guy (who incidentally never bullied me and was not that bad to interact with most of the time), was smoking, using drugs, and stealing cars by the eighth grade. I'm sure, every lesson he ever learned was done the hard way. I just learned that he died in his 60's, which for US life expectancies isn't that great. A lot of the other people, who did try to make my life miserable, are gone now. Most all of them are now old, not cute anymore, and don't have anything left to sell. The first two also apply to me. At least I have something left.

There are so many things they caused me to miss, or helped me to miss (mainly sex, drugs, and rock and roll), kept me in good health. Since I studied more, it also meant I earned a better living than quite a few of them--even though they were mostly neurotypical. And so, at the end, there actually was a delayed gratification for not being the Biff Tannen of the local high school.

I can't say I exactly feel sorry for them, but unlike the old days I do not, for sure, wish that I was them anymore. So who exactly ended up with the better deal?

Or you could be on the other side of the equation, where bullies from school have high-paying jobs, families who look after them, have kids of their own with a wife/gf who loves them for who they are - where i'm left with student loan debt as a uni dropout due to mental health issues and stuck in minimum wage and dead end jobs, no gf or social life, no independence and stuck living with parents.

Yes, that describes a few of my bullies from school. Successful people with families.

Like with my former bully from work, if I ever hear any of the A-holes from Jr High school who made my life a living hell are ever hurt or come down with some uncurable disease, I will take great pleasure it.

If they're no longer relevant to my life I see no point celebrating their passing. Life goes on.

I think about this often. Growing up I had several "bullies" that made my life miserable. Almost every single one of them passed away at a relatively young age. I had nothing to do with their deaths but it usually brings a smile to my face when I think about some of them and the situations that brought about their demise.
There is one person who I think of as "the straw that broke the camel's back" in high school that I swore I would punch if I ever saw him again. I did run into him, but it was at my sister's funeral, and I didn't feel like that was the place to be punching anyone.