Do you ever feel that NTs aren't literal enough?

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Do you ever feel that NT people with whom you interact could be more - yes, more - literal in how they use speech?

I often think that way. My opinion is that there is nothing wrong at all with using precise words to communicate - if you intend to communicate, rather than to entertain, or worse, deliberately mislead.

This is why I have a lot of respect for programmers, but much less for marketers (no offense to any here). In programming, when you deal with a programming language, what you write and what you want must be perfectly intertwined, or the result will be either sloppy or possibly faulty.

When dealing with each other, I often feel that humans should be able to use literal communication without social stigmas. For example, if someone gets a new hair style, I realize that bluntly telling them that it looks stupid would hurt their feelings - so I would refrain from doing that. But to do the opposite, and say it looks great when you privately hate it, seems just evil.

Yes.

Though I understand and use phrases and idioms like "it's raining cats and dogs." As long as both parties in a conversation understand that it's just another way of saying it's raining very hard.

It's when people talk around an issue or hint that I get confused or don't pick up on what they want me to know.

It would be nice if NT's were blunt and literal. That's not going to happen, though, because they go out of their way to not hurt a person's feelings. I always like people to be up front with me. I can handle it. That's probably why I'd rather hang out with rednecks and country hicks than "normal" people because hicks don't use the gift of gab to twist their words. They say what they mean and they're blunt about it.

Surely you don't mean LITERALLY "evil."

Disingenuous, certainly, but hardly malicious intent.

I rather enjoy language, so metaphor and simile don't particularly bother me, but I do remember being puzzled as a kid, at some of the odd little homilies and cliches that adults would toss off, that taken literally, were completely absurd. Then when I took them literally and asked why they said that, they laughed at me, as though I were asking a silly question. As I got older and came to understand these queer conventions of human language, I learned to use them as social ice breakers, by responding to those types of statements as though they were literal, thereby turning them into 'punny' jokes.


In any case, to address your hairstyle example, I make no effort to offer feint praise to others just to stroke their egos. If they ask about something like that, I might tell them it looks fine when I personally was not impressed, but I wouldn't use superlatives like "great," or "wonderful." But frankly, just knowing that most people are not going to be perfectly honest in such situations is a good reason not to ask for their opinions in the first place.

Probably why I don't take compliments well, since the assumption is they're generally BS to begin with. It's always awkward when you're expected to say "Oh, thank you, you're too kind," when what you're actually thinking is "Yeah, right - whatever."

I'd say kind NTs go out of their way not to hurt others' feelings... But there are others who mislead on purpose, and can be quite smooth about it. Those are the ones I don't often have a good radar for.

Same here. I can totally relate.

Or when there's a group talk going on, and you say something polite to acknowledge them, but you are met with a "wall of ice" in return. I will spend hours, maybe even months, quietly wondering why they did what they did.

In my experience, NT men are a bit more literal than NT women, and partly because NT women enjoy having attention more.

Not saying that NT men are literal at all. They still tippy toe around certain things with other men.

Those are the ones who can be dangerous. I tend to trust people too much, or at least believe what someone says until or unless it becomes very obvious that it's not true. Most people are fundamentally decent, but even they can be tempted to deceive sometimes. And then there are the predators...

It's English slang for: It's raining f****** lots!"
Both having the same number of syllabols and dogs rhyming with lots.

It's the definition of being NT. They probably would get exhausted and have meltdowns if they had to be literal 24/7.

I get upset when people say "give me a second" or "give me a minute" ... now I know that you want me to wait, but I have NO IDEA how long! People should learn to give accurate estimates of the time they need instead of using common phrases. :p

This reminds me of a joke I like..

"A wife says to her programmer husband, go to the store and get a loaf of bread, and if they have eggs, get a dozen.
So the husband comes home with a dozen loaves of bread."

Love that joke!

Perhaps you just don't hear the meaning from the tone of their voice. I can say "it looks great" to 10 different people and honestly how it sounds will vary greatly. Sometimes, I hear from my own tone that I really don't sound impressed and then I sort of regret saying anything at all. I can't really fake my tone very well and sometimes don't know exactly how it is going to come out before I say it.

My coworker did that to me yesterday saying "interesting" in a way that I knew she was bored. I like our interactions and worried about her perhaps feeling different. I quickly found something that I knew, or strongly suspected, would be interesting to show to her and got her opinion on what I should do about something.

What is the point of telling someone you don't like their hair style anyway. It really doesn't matter much and anyway if they like it's their decision. I really do try to cooperate with people and to show them I am cooperating. I'm an NT but in a foreign culture where they expect you to "read the air" and have so many troubles understanding the unstated meaning. The only thing I can do is try to cooperate and if someone has a haircut I don't like, well that is their decision and I am going to respect it because if it is not causing trouble for me, then I have no problem with it.

There is one lady at work who is bilingual and she helps me understand what is happening. I really don't think the new hair style she has is suitable for her, but she is so important to me to understanding what is happening in the office that I would never ever in a million years want to let her know I don't like it. She is busy and it is not her job to help me but I have to ask for her time sometimes. In this case it is really clear that I need to be careful of the relationship. In other cases I am still careful because I never know when I might need someone to cooperate with me. I am very different than my coworkers and even though I do a good job, just being different is a risk in itself.

Actually, I said something stupid to my coworker like " Um, I usually don't talk to people I don't know. You seems like a totally different person. Can we still talk?" and she laughed. I guess I am just asking permission to talk to her sometimes. I always have to ask annoying questions and I know it bothers her sometimes.

Yes, more literal, precise communication would be much better in my opinion. More bluntness in conjunction with thicker skins (not literally ) would be nice as well. That goes for myself, as well as people in general though.

I don't feel that way at all. I've experienced the opposite where a few typical people were too literal with me as if to carve my insides out with a knife. My mum is one such example. "They're old, people don't last forever!" That example. I feel like a R-Tard when people get that literal with me.