Your mother

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This poll is intended for autistic members. We all know mothers of autistic kids are very stressed, but did they manage OK? Do you end up best friends or hating each other?

Somehow I get the feeling the answers from aspies would be quite different from their mothers'.

I think my mother brought it upon herself to bite off more than she can chew.

She consorted with a mixed race man who didn't know where his allegiances lay. He was just an internally struggling individual, unwanted by his father and probably outcasted by his peers. Turning into a slobbering abusive drunk, he was way too much for my mother to handle.

She had kids who were mixed race in a black neighborhood and were often the butt of neighborhood jokes and derisions. Unfortunately, like a lot of people, she decided that religion was her cure-all. Her man would come around because it's God's will. The children would turn out all right because it's God's will. All will be well because it's God's will.

That she became a drug addict later in life is not a mystery to me. Was that God's will, too? In the end, my mother had no answers, just spoon-fed clichés she'd learned as a little girl that held no meaning, weight or relevance to the real world.

She had a son who was a freak but hoped, with God's will, he'd turn out okay. Well, the son is not okay. He's an oddball, a misfit, a freak with serious communication difficulties who can't make or maintain friends to save his life. She had a son who was, and is, suicidal and was a homeless drug addict.

Yeah, deep down inside, she probably loved her kids. She sure as hell never understood the strange one, though.

iMother Me & I iMother.

Answer number 2. Nobody had the right information in the 60's and 70's so how can I blame her for any mistakes that she made because of it? She let me be me what else is there to ask for?. After reading here about what other people had to through with their families I deserve a good ass whipping for anything less then complete appreciation.

I am extremely attached to my mom, she is the one who I love and trust the most. She is the ideal mother - kind, gentle, compassionate, loving, good sense of humor, and the patience of a saint.

I chose "my mom thinks she's wonderful, but I don't feel loved". I should probably have added "or understood". Mostly we're just the opposites in everything. It's like someone borrowed her to make me, no resemblance or anything in common. I don't think she ever try to understand people, she still doesn't understand my dad after 45 years. She's a motor-mouth who talks and talks whether you'd listen or not. A conversation is never complete without her squeezing in more stuff to say at the end and occupy another 20 minutes of your time. We argue a lot. I do mean a lot, about various things that don't even matter. Everyone in the family's afraid of her except me, I wouldn't back down no matter how loud and irate she is.

I know she's a good person, but I just can't stand her. She seems to be the epitome of NTness. Likes to socialize and chat and watch TV, hates reading and learning. The ignorant things she said about autism resemble the thread "Things NTs said that irritate you". Like if I just go out and socialize more and make friends, I'll not have any problem. If my kids are really smart they'd outgrow the autism. She thinks my allergies are caused by me not exercising enough (even though she has allergies herself. She sends me all the hoax emails that everyone else forwarded to her. She demands respect just because she's old and my mother. She admits that I'm only her second biggest failure (my brother is the biggest). It's to the point that if I ever say "My mom says..." My husband and kids start rolling their eyes already.

Oh well, life's not perfect and everyone has their source of headaches. At least I love my mother in-law. Those of you with wonderful moms are very lucky.

I chose "She did her best.....". We had our fights, and I was to some degree parentified. Nobody knew anything about AS back then. She was very charming and lively, but unmistakably AS ever since childhood: very anxious and the remote professor-child who fell over her own feet and invented her own mathematical rules, that actually worked. She was awfully creative and had a strong inner world.
She was a very dedicated mom and understood me very well, when I was small, but as I grew older and more complicated as children do, she became more theoretical about reading me. I felt very abandoned, but she couldn´t help it.
I was also made her parent, when she got old and sick, and it cost me my last chance of a finished exam.
Well, maybe I had ended up being unimployed anyway due to financial cutbacks.
I have had a very hard time living with our relationship, strange as it was, but learning about my own AS and discussing things with the psychologist is making it all more understandable, and I love my "crazy-genious" mom very much.

I chose "my mom doesn't care about me or bother to understand me". If the devil actually existed, my mother would be it. She's an abusive person who is not capable of much love. She has severe psychological problems, and I recognize that's why she's the way she is, but it does not make me regret my words.

My mother died 2 years ago, and I won't and can't speak ill of the dead.

"My mom and I get along all right, there's some love and not too much fight".
The relationship with my mother hasn't been as deep as the one with my father. During my childhood because of various reasons I passed most of the time with my father, this changed when I was 11 because the circumstances had changed, but I was able to see that my father was more like me, and I could relate to him better than to my mother.
Don't misunderstand; I love her as much as I love my father, it's just that I can relate to him better.

I actually wanted to choose 2 options:
My mom thinks she's wonderful, but I feel unloved and neglected

and

My mom loves me but doesn't understand me

I have several posts on the relationship with me and my mother here. But long story short: my mom and i have a very complex relationship.
I am (emotionally) neglected, and i don't feel loved most of the time. Despite that thing, i really think she loves me, but by the lack of her understanding me, i can't feel it.
That's my theory about it.

I'm glad this thread isn't about fathers. What I'd have to say about mine would get me censored by the powers that be at Wrong Planet.

We love each other deep down, but mom can get a little annoying sometimes.