From a NT's view

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I'm a neurotypical, although I do have a few traits in common with AS, like obsessions...but not to the degree of AS because they don't interfere with my life.

Anyways, reading up on AS I discovered that some of the traits are not unique to AS and can often be seen in NT's. Lots of people that I know have at least a few traits, and reading posts on this forum, I see over and over these so called traits or signs of AS. Lots of NT's have obsessions, and I'm not talking about hobbies or OCD obsessions, but full blown-always on my mind obsessions. Am I wrong?
Some things as simple as how you sit. Also, people claim that just regular life experience must be a symptom of AS, and that NT's never relate. This is simply a false notion. It almost seems that if someone with AS does something a certain way, it must be because of AS. Ridiculous! I'm not trying to be rude or belittle the problems people with AS face day in and day out. I've seen AS in person, and I know it's hard. But NT's have it rough too. A lot of us have never felt like we've belonged anywhere. I just think some of the so called traits claimed under ASD are getting a little over the top.

Yes, you make a good point. I have noticed the same thing on these forums.

I think the answer is that its a form of social bonding among aspies. An analogy is the way British people complain to each other about the weather and about how much worse it is than in other countries. To the British, its a way of recognizing that we're part of a group and that we all share something in common. It gives us a feeling of solidarity. However, intellectually most British people realize that weather conditions in many other countries are in fact less than ideal.

I think a similar effect happens on these forums. We want to feel part of a group, so there is a tendency to complain about our social problems as if no one else in the world experiences them. However, most of us realize deep down that in reality the picture is far more complicated than that.

This is why for an official diagnosis there is what they call the triad of impairments. Some NT's might have one or maybe even two of the three impairments, but not all three at a once. (in fact there are some who say there are 5 impairments if you include sensory impairments etc) If someone claims to only have a couple of the impairments, then its likely they have not got Aspergers.

You also have to remember that ASD is still a poorly supported condition, with very little help and advice from professionals. So many people come here trying to clarify which traits are their ASD, and which are just common NT traits. When you have never known anything else, its hard to know what being NT is actually supposed to be like, anymore than we know what is a normal ASD experience. So an NT could read a post and think 'well what is so strange about that' but if we with ASD don't ask those questions how are we supposed to find out?

I only recently found out how different my perception of the world is when I watched a video showing the difference between the NT perception and the ASD perception. I was shocked to realise just how quiet the NT world is, with so little distracting background noise! I thought everyone experienced the world like that. And my wife in turn was shocked to find out just how chaotically noisy the world was for me!

Taking the other side of the argument, and I don't want to ruffle feathers here, but when you have people with only minimal traits claiming to have Aspergers, its not surprising that NT's get the impression that we are exaggerating things to get sympathy or to belong to a group. The embarrassing truth is that some people actually do do that! That's not to say that we shouldn't welcome self diagnosed people on here, or even that those with only half the symptoms should be excluded. I'm just trying to explain why from an NT point of view, reading this site can give the wrong impression of what Aspergers / Autism is about. And why it can perhaps seem as if what we go through is not that much different to what they go through (as with the OP). We welcome all sorts on here, so there will be a whole range of opinions / experiences expressed here. So you will read posts by people who are just trying to become part of that group, mixed in with the people who are fully diagnosed.

If you want to compare yourself to someone with an ASD, then I suggest you at least first do your research and find out what ASD really is. And don't base your opinions on anecdotal posts that you read on WP (or any other forum)

By the way, OCD is by definition a full blown always on obsession! and is also a full blown mental illness, one which needs psychiatric treatment in many cases. The big difference is that with OCD it can be treated and over time cured, ASD can never be cured.

All humans are on a spectrum, there is no definite boundary between Neurotypical and Neurodiverse. A range of traits covers this spectrum, and we all exhibit those traits to some degree. As you mentioned, some traits of Autistics form behaviour patterns that disrupt their life and others find disturbing. The reaction of those who are disturbed can often be displayed in negative and conflictual ways, many of those who react this way will be NT purely due to being a majority in the general population. For many who have experienced these negative behaviours frequently, a resentment is created towards NT type people due to their biased behaviour and attitudes.

One of the key factors influencing Aspies, is a difficulty to identify and understand their own feelings and emotions, or those of others. It's unfair to ask NDs to consider the thoughts of NTs when they are not afforded that consideration either. In my opinion very little has been written about ND life from an ND perspective, considering it is a relatively recent discovery. Hopefully this will continue to change, and talented ND writers will continue to write from a personal perspective. Much of what is read here is of a more scientific or clinical nature. Members on this site are attempting to compile and produce FAQs and an Aspie/Autism wiki to increase the amount of information available in the future. With more time and effort, resources like these will help to reduce the feelings of isolation and increase understanding for those on our part of the spectrum.

There is the medical community, and then there are members of wrongplanet.

According to the medical community traits of AS are shared by non AS people, but found in combination only in AS people- supposidly.

Im okay with that.

But folks on WP post all kinds of silly claims like "Liking cottage cheese is an aspie triat.". or "I have a sweet tooth, is that an aspie trait?" that even fellow wrongplaneteers find laughable.

Thanks for the input, I appreciate it. I know full well what OCD is and what it's not because I have it, being treated with good results. What I was talking about in my original post was what you may call a special interest.

Last edited by Shikari on 21 Jul 2013, 8:27 am, edited 2 times in total.

Haha, yeah pretty ridiculous claims out there. It's kind of sad in a way for people seeking answers about if they have it or not.

Maybe you should read the longer replies too.

I agree with Foxfield on this, I think it is a form of solidarity. Plus it's not just about the traits separately, it's the sum of the traits for me. Coming to this forum and seeing people raise points about things that have happened in their life helps me to understand why things have gone wrong in my life, things that previously I have not been able to understand when discussing my life with NTs.
Yes most traits separately are seen in NTs too, thats why people like me get to 33 without getting diagnosed. My friends accepted my traits as often they could see the same things in themselves. One friend is really honest and appreciates my honesty, another friend loves my obsessiveness, when I'm into something she buzzes off how happy I am, another friend finds it comforting that I am also dress for comfort (we are both mums and some other mums are dressed up like they are going out for a night out when they drop their kids off) I see these traits in people, but I know they haven't got AS. It doesn't make me belittle their struggles any less, in fact in my real life I am very sympathetic to peoples problems ( as long as something similar has happened to me I can comfort them, I struggle if I have nothing to compare it to)
In summary, I think that everyone has traits, yet its the amount of similarities that set us apart. Coming on here has explained almost all of my seemingly odd behaviours and now I am very grateful for everyone who has contributed and therefore helped me to understand myself.

Sorry to hear that, OCD is very similar to ASD 'special interests' in that we cannot switch off thinking about them - even when trying to get to sleep! So I sympathise entirely with how hard OCD must be for you. I can easily spend 10 hours or more concentrating intensely on just one task due to the OCD like special interests I have. I think the only reason it is not called OCD instead of 'special interest' is to avoid unnecessary confusion with OCD the mental illness.

And I agree with naturalplastic about the silly posts we get on here, how can we expect NT's to take us seriously when there is so much nonsense posted by our own members! Unfortunately its not a problem that can be solved, since it would be wrong to censor people just for being daft!

I'm not a pointy eared indigo child with superpowers caused by eating too many sweeteners, I'm a grown man with a condition that has serious consequences for my daily life!

Thanks! BTW what was that video you were talking about? I'd kinda like to see it. I enjoy learning about other point of views.

I also don't think we should forget the fact that there are plenty of people out there who claim to be NT who are not. They honestly think their experiences are "normal" and so when someone else does/says something, they think to themselves "Huh...I do that all the time. No big deal!"

This happened with me very clearly. I once had an officemate with ADHD. She would talk to me about it and I would sit there thinking "she doesn't have ADHD. I do that, too, and I don't have ADHD." She would even go so far as to gently suggest that perhaps I have ADHD and I was like "No. I am certain I don't." Only to have my son diagnosed during this time and then in doing research about the condition for him, to find out "Wow. Not only do I have ADHD, it's not even mild!" I didn't realize that everyone else's brain was not in constant cacophony. My head is LOUD. I can't even imagine what it would be like to have one train of thought at a time. I thought that was how everyone was. I didn't realize that a lot of things that I "thought" were normal were actually outside the boundaries of normal because of degree. For example, people get caught up in what they are doing and lose track of time. All people. So, I didn't realize that the fact that this routinely happens to me to the point that I have to have alarms set for a variety of things so that I can keep myself flowing through my day was outside the realm of "normal."

It is actually a weird thing as a parent to experience. Watching my kids grow up and thinking "There's nothing wrong with that! I/my brother did that as a kid!" Only to find out that it's not typical now, and it wasn't typical then, either. My parents just didn't know any different.

+1. Expression of our internal world can be difficult. From what I've observed, people usually try to relate things to their own experiences. This isn't effective if the effect is to minimize distress or differences vs understanding them.
With social exchanges, I know I miss a lot of underlying communication but I couldn't tell you what. I know this because of the befuddled or angry glances I receive during a lot of interactions, but it's not something that's going to disappear with a social skills class. I can take a pill to minimize my anxiety, but that anxiety keeps me on my guard enough to somewhat function and stay on task. Without it I am going to bulldoze interactions without consideration of what's appropriate, on topic, or possibly offensive. It's not going to quiet the external chaos around me.
On that same point, I'd never presume to understand the struggles of someone with severe autism either. It is a spectrum, but a much wider one than the OP is presenting. Everyone definitely has their struggles including NTs, but it's not AS behaviors or outward presentations as a focus but the internal experience and how that may translate.

I don't suppose you could find that video, or link it here could you? I've always been curious about just how different my perceptions are to the NT population. I'm aware my ASD is mild, but I know there are at least some differences.

Sorry, double post.

Last edited by Raz0rscythe on 21 Jul 2013, 11:10 am, edited 1 time in total.