What happening to me??

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ok this is going to be a bit of a long post, I am so confused right now.

so, I shouted at my brother for purposely spilling milk on my floor at 1 in the morning, I forgot it was so late/early. My dad came in and started shouting at me about shouting and swearing at me and looking really scary, he is not usually like this and I started saying he was overreacting and I understood that I should not have shouted but he kept scaring my with his anger.

he left and then came back and started again I started crying and he threatened to break my laptop and then left again then I lost all control and through my mobile a glass of water and my mp3 player across the room while crying uncontrollably, he came back in even more angry about me throwing stuff then I started hitting my head on the my bed headboard and he shoved me not hard but still pushed me backwards I was screaming for him to go away while crying.

my mum came in and my dad left and I was still intermittently smashing my head against the headboard my mum told me to stop and lie down, I was saying I did not understand over and over again, crying and hyperventilating but I managed to lie down but I was scratching my chest rhythmically and ended up causing friction burn or something, I did not know I was scratching that hard, seeing the red mark on my chest made me cry more.

my mum eventually left and I cried for about 3 hours before going to sleep, I am 19 years old what the hell is happening to me, it came out of no where, my phone is broken, I am really lucky my mp3 player Is still ok. I am full of self loathing, embarrassment, confusion and I have this awful brain fog now that wont go away.

Sounds like you had a meltdown. It's similar to overloading an electrical circuit and then it explodes. A similar thing works in the brain and is known to happen to autistics and others. Dad was stunned out of his sleep and probably overreacted. He should have not kept it going but like like with you once stated he could not turn himself off. I suspect once he wakes up and clears his head he will apologize to you.

Has your family had a very stressful time lately? The reason I ask is that it was an unusual reaction for both of your dad.

It was just a melt down. Don't be worried. Everybody else there was just being cranky because of the time it happened. You're fine.

I think there are certain methods to kind of take it to the side and make a meltdown less likely, and also certain methods to help make them less damaging.

let a medium mistake be a medium mistake, that kind of thing.

None of these methods are a hundred percent, but . . 70% can be pretty good, too.

Yeah it sounds like a meltdown to me. I usually slap myself in the face and thump myself on the top of my head during mine. They happen when you are dealing with too much and it all just explodes out in a horrible emotional display. I hope you are feeling a little better now. Please try not to feel too bad about it-it was a horrible thing to happen but your family's reactions didn't help. I am sure once everyone has calmed down and spoken about it, it will be fine.