I can't stop...!

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I had a bad experience about 3 years ago and I can't stop thinking about it and not even writing those ppl who were involved in that situation. I don't want to talk about it right now, I just want to know how I can stop?

When I can't stop myself from thinking my way through an unpleasant loop, I often take the frustration I feel and pour it into an interest, like shooting zombies in video games, or doing some art, or music. These things sometimes help me to suspend the thoughts, for a while at least. Yeah, just pour that energy into something you love doing perhaps?

I think of the texture of my favorite bread. Not just any bread but my absolute favorite. Recalling the sensation just overwhelms me and I can't think of anything else. I used to do a lot of Zen mediation but thinking of bread stops me from thinking about anything else faster.

That is so cool!

I plan some practical work, - woodwork or gardening, - or photography. The planning takes my mind off the conflict.

Playing video games, reading some things in certain Facebook groups or watching random Youtube videos is a good way to help me suppress thoughts like those, even for the moment.

I try to do this too. Usually I try to learn for university then or read something else. Sometimes it works, but a lot of times my mind is so distracted that I can't focus on the task.

Also I think 3 years of thinking about a bad insidence is long enough now and it got better, but I can't imagine living like this for the next 2 or 3 years or so...!

I talk to the Lord while I garden, sew, or help my husband or son do something good for our family. I was traumatized 2 years ago by someone who misunderstood my concerns for them. They slandered me to my entire community where I was ostracized. I lost a son-like relationshop I deeply treasured, most of my friends, my church, my area of ministry - and even my health and my work and income. But God never left me or my family. I would loop and loop about it all. It literally gave me a complete mental and physical breakdown. You can't really completely change the looping of wrong thoughts without God. Check out Dr. Leaf online about looping negative thoughts. The brain, like the gut, goes through 7 processes for digestion of thought. When you understand your value and worth to God, and His understanding of your situation, your looping will change suddenly to better thoughts and you will be able to digest thoughts such as "Why?" and "How could they have done this?" I garden, sew, look at books with pretty pictures, focus on goodness and also have learned to ask God the RIGHT questions such as, "What did I miss in this situation?" or "Did my Aspie behavior make me do this to aggrivate the situation?", "How did I hurt myself in this situation?" God will answer and it will make sense from it. We can get better or we can get bitter.

I talk to the Lord while I garden, sew, or help my husband or son do something good for our family. I was traumatized 2 years ago by someone who misunderstood my concerns for them. They slandered me to my entire community where I was ostracized. I lost a son-like relationshop I deeply treasured, most of my friends, my church, my area of ministry - and even my health and my work and income. But God never left me or my family. I would loop and loop about it all. It literally gave me a complete mental and physical breakdown. You can't really completely change the looping of wrong thoughts without God. Check out Dr. Leaf online about looping negative thoughts. The brain, like the gut, goes through 7 processes for digestion of thought. When you understand your value and worth to God, and His understanding of your situation, your looping will change suddenly to better thoughts and you will be able to digest thoughts such as "Why?" and "How could they have done this?" I garden, sew, look at books with pretty pictures, focus on goodness and also have learned to ask God the RIGHT questions such as, "What did I miss in this situation?" or "Did my Aspie behavior make me do this to aggrivate the situation?", "How did I hurt myself in this situation?" God will answer and it will make sense from it. We can get better or we can get bitter.

I talk to the Lord while I garden, sew, or help my husband or son do something good for our family. I was traumatized 2 years ago by someone who misunderstood my concerns for them. They slandered me to my entire community where I was ostracized. I lost a son-like relationshop I deeply treasured, most of my friends, my church, my area of ministry - and even my health and my work and income. But God never left me or my family. I would loop and loop about it all. It literally gave me a complete mental and physical breakdown. You can't really completely change the looping of wrong thoughts without God. Check out Dr. Leaf online about looping negative thoughts. The brain, like the gut, goes through 7 processes for digestion of thought. When you understand your value and worth to God, and His understanding of your situation, your looping will change suddenly to better thoughts and you will be able to digest thoughts such as "Why?" and "How could they have done this?" I garden, sew, look at books with pretty pictures, focus on goodness and also have learned to ask God the RIGHT questions such as, "What did I miss in this situation?" or "Did my Aspie behavior make me do this to aggrivate the situation?", "How did I hurt myself in this situation?" God will answer and it will make sense from it. We can get better or we can get bitter.

What has helped me is talking about it out loud. I had a traumatic experience 3 years ago and it messed me up for a long time, but about a year ago I saw a therapist and we talked about it, even though I didn't think that would help and in fact just talking about it made me feel 10 times worse. However, after that I realized that I wasn't really thinking about it much anymore. If I did think about it, it didn't elicit the same type of negative physical response that it used to. The way that I see it is, those thoughts were literally traveling in a loop in my head, but when I talked about them, the loop was broken as they traveled out of my mouth instead.

hm, I have a therapist and I talked with him about it. I'm not sure if it helped or not, but now he is in vacation until end of november.

I also talked with friends about it, so it propably helped in some way and it's better than in the beginning, but my mainproblem is that I have the feeling that I don't understand the situation fully and I think because of my autistic brain, I've the "need" to analyse and to understand it, but there is also the problem, because I'll maybe never fully understand the motives of the others who were involved...!
It's like a veeeery negative special interest, at least it feels like it.

... and because of my ADD tendencies I tend to space out under stress and so it's very often difficult for me to focus on something else.

I've only recently started seeking counselling and such for a multitude of issues (the usual suspects: depression, anxiety, substance abuse and suicidal ideations) and I've found that talking about them has only made them worse. I suppose that makes sense, but when you're dependent on the limited counselling resources offered by a university free clinic, the inconsistency of appointments and the start-stop pattern only serves to bring problems out into the open long enough to focus on them but not long enough to deal with them in any real way.

Yes, sadly also therapies can have "side effects", but sadly, usually just the positive effects are mentioned...!

I have found that the secret they don't tell you about therapy is that while you are going through it, you will actually feel much worse about your issues. That therapist I saw last year worked through some of my anxieties with me, and having to talk and think about it made the anxiety level in my daily life heightened. However, I would say that this effect wore off about two months after I stopped therapy. It was then that my anxiety about this traumatic event began to decline below pre-therapy levels.

So, while therapy has positive benefits over the long term (for many people, not all), in the short term it will feel like crap.

After years of obsessing over various painful things, I made a deal with myself. i alocated myself one hour a day when not only was I allowed to fret and cry, but I was expected too. When I would start rethinking the situations and getting down I would tell myself that I was allowed to get upset but not until the sheduled time.

Sounds dumb but it has helped me significantly.