Do I have mild aspergers or am I just an odd NT?

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This is really long, just fyi so you don't waste your time reading half of it and getting bored.

So far in life I have chugged along fine, content with my NT status (diagnosed OCD and extremely mild tourettes aside), and not even knowing what Aspergers was until yesterday. I was researching it based on a sudden random interest, and I spent all night digging in and researching it, as I usually do with interesting things. Wikipedia should be the new rick-roll in my opinion, because you just can't stop once you visit the site.

The more I learned, the more I felt like some, but not all, of aspergers applied to me. I was just wondering if I could get some input here.

I've always been socially awkward. Saying the wrong things at the wrong times, being "rude", etc. That sounds like aspergers to me. But at the same time, I have some very close friends, I can function well in public, and the majority of people I meet like me. If they're being honest, they'll usually say I'm a little different, but that I'm a really nice guy. The thing is, I don't see how I'm being different. When I do slip and say something "rude", I don't see how it was rude until someone explains it to me. At that point, sometimes it makes sense why that would be offensive, and sometimes it doesn't.

I can read facial expressions fine. I can read some social cues and gestures fine, and others I completely miss. I can always tell by looking at someone's face how they're feeling. When I took a personality test at my university, I was labeled as an ENFP, which basically means I have an almost supernatual ability to understand people. But it seems that this ability doesn't always manifest itself while I'm in conversation. It's like I'm really great at understanding people about some things (more so than anyone else I know), but on other things I'm so clueless that people look at me like I'm dumb.

By reading about asperger symptoms, reflecting on them (which could be a bad thing - ie my brain making things bigger and more prominent than they really are), and by talking to people I'm close with, this is what I've gathered:

I talk a lot about special interests and hobbies that nobody else cares about. I've learned to tone down these conversations except with those people who are really polite about it and listen (or pretend to listen) anyways. But I generally know a lot about these interests. I read that individuals with aspergers may memorize camera model numbers without knowing a lot about photography. I usually try to understand everything I can about a subject, not just parts of it. But I relish in the details to get the big picture. I can sometimes tell when someone isn't listening to me, and sometimes I just go on for awhile until it hits me that they're not really there.

I love to be by myself. I've always needed me time, even growing up. My friends would call and want to hang out, and I'd be so excited, but then while getting ready to go see them (or have mom drive me lol, little kids probably shouldn't be driving) I'd find a toy or computer game I left on the carpet, and mom would come in and I'd be playing or investigating something and had lost interest in hanging with my friends. Sure, it would be neat to see them, but if I go hang out I'll miss out on what I'm doing right now! And I'll have to wait until we're done hanging out just to get back to this. This got especially bad when I found out what strategy games were! I hate you civ2!

Now though, I enjoy hanging with friends. I get extremely lonely if I stay home much longer than 1 or 2 days. But then again, all my friends now share my same interests: I hang out with people who play video games, play chess, relate well with me, like me for who I am, and most of all: love to have logical discussions with me. If I have aspergers, some of my friends probably do too XD

A lot of people tell me I'm too logical, that I look at thing's weird, that I have no emotions when it comes to understanding something, that I'm blunt, I have no tact whatsoever, I can be rude but then I'm also really nice, I don't make any sense (this is usually said when I'm trying to show someone why something they said doesn't make sense, or attempting to show why they aren't being logical about something they believe). People have told me that I just look at the world differently, and that I only see things in black and white. I don't really think that. It just drives me nuts when people say they say peanuts are evil but then they go eat a pb&j sandwhich (ok, far fetched example lol)

I hate new places and new environments. They make me extremely nervous. Going to get a new job, moving to a new city, or moving to a new school (especially different grades, ie jr high to high school and high school to college), almost make me sick. But once I get there, within a month I've adapted and am functioning ok.

While I do really well around a lot of people, I hate large social get togethers, parties, or anywhere where I know I'm going to be stuck with people I haven't met (school projects with random people in big classes, etc). If I'm just meeting someone, then I'm fine. I'm great in front of large crowds of people, on stage, etc. If I get invited to a party, then I don't want to go, but if I get dragged along, I have a lot of fun once I'm there, although I tend to get bored and like to leave pretty early.

I notice details nobody else notices, and I also hear noises that most people miss until I point it out. I dislike the volume very high on my computer as it hurts my ears or bothers me, but other people think it's too low. Then again, I can have loud noise in other situations, so it's really a hit or miss thing.

I'm not terribly clumsy, but at 5'6" I'm not too tall as to lose my balance either. I do tend to be more clumsy than other people I know that's my height, but I don't fall down walking outside my house or anything (joking here). Although I do suppose the two cd cases I've broken by miscalculating my steps within the last 24 hours would probably beg to differ.

I have noticed that if there's a group of 2-3 guys, then I hate going up and meeting them. But if there are girls, then it doesn't bother me. I guess just being around guys I don't know makes me nervous. But if they're guys who don't look like they're full of testosterone or they don't look difficult to approach, I'm fine. I don't really know how to explain this. I guess egos just make me extremely uncomfortable.

As for girlfriends: I've had them, but I don't seek them out. I really long for a relationship, and girls who've dated me liked me a lot, but I'm horrible at talking to new girls. People tell me I'm extremely outgoing, and that I have no trouble just going up and meeting new people (I basically don't have a part of me that says you shouldn't just start up a conversation with a random stranger if you're both going to be waiting in line to buy something, etc), but when it comes to talking to a girl, I do fine by pretending she's just another stranger. But I can't make a move by asking her for her number or anything. I can't play the flirting game. People tell me I'm either annoying (taking it too far), or that girls were hitting on me and I had no clue.

Also, I have a lot of trouble about eye contact. But I have pretty high self esteem, so I shouldn't have trouble looking someone in the eyes. It's more of a "thinking" thing. Like, "ok, if I look them in the eyes right now, and then wait a minute and look away, and then look back now, it should be acceptable." Everybody says I over-analyze everything and I'm always worried that I've done something to cause someone not to like me, although I am getting better as I get older by not caring as much since I have my close friends that do like me.

If you've taken the time to read all of this, thank you. I may add more as I think of it. I'm sorry this isn't organized at all: it was more a rambling of my thoughts.

Also, I just want to clarify that I function normaly in society for the most part. My post made it sound like I'm this big awkward social mess. If someone told me I had aspergers, and I then told someone I know I have it, they wouldn't believe me. I function fine. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

What do you think? Oh, and Hi, I'm new here lol.

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

One way of looking at Aspergers is that we are autistic--we have difficulties learning social interaction, but are high functioning in other areas--sometimes to the point of genius. In the near future Aspergers will be merged with high functioning autism.

In a sense, our brains work differently--many of us do have single track minds--able to work on a single task all day unlike NTs. We can eat the same foods day after day and not get tired of it. Thus, our special interests really are "special" in that we study it past the point of being interesting. I'll build really good model airplanes--expertly crafted--not just a couple, but couple dozen! As far as memorizing model numbers--I do that effortlessly--just as NTs remember faces. I have trouble with faces. But, I remember numbers for years. I remember math techniques I haven't used for two decades.

Your post was long but I think I need more information! Do you have any serious social difficulties? Do you relate to people? Do you have sensory problems that interfere with your daily life? Do you need to follow a routine- for example doing things in the same exact order every day, wearing the same outfits, eating the same exact foods, using the same bowl and glass etc.?

I am not diagnosed myself, but I can think of some clearer examples than what you provided that would put me on the mild end of the specrum somewhere.

I'm not diagnosed myself, and I'm not entirely sure I have it or not, but I will say that I at least have a lot of Aspie traits. By the sound of it, you do too. Whether or not it warrants a diagnosis will probably depend on just how impaired you feel you are. If AS or your Aspie-like symptoms are causing problems in your life, then it's time to start looking into getting a diagnosis and seeking some help. Otherwise, it's just good knowledge to have. Even if you don't have AS, you may have a lot in common with the folks here and you might still gain a lot from browsing these forums. I know I have.

So, as others have said, welcome to Wrong Planet. I hope you enjoy your stay!

Lorna Wing (the inventor of the name "Asperger's Syndrome") about the Asperger vs. "eccentric normal" thing:

It's hard to say. You could be, but you could also be an NT with problems socializing. Have you tried taking the tests? A number of them are in a thread at the top of this forum. They might help clarify things.

I have a lot of Aspie traits myself, but I can understand people's emotions, and I can understand people's tones of voice, and I know when I am being annoying, etc.

So I probably have either chronic anxiety or ADHD. In any case, I like the forum.

While hardly a diagnostic, those of us with Asperger's are amazed to discover there are others with precisely the same way of thinking who run into the same difficulties in daily life. Sure, some of us are better at adapting than others, but it is quite shocking to see how familiar the mistakes and faux pas are! The stories are actually more accurate than what I've learned to expect from professional reporters!

Hi temetvince!

I'm afraid that I can't give you an answer either, but at least I can tell you that I'm in a similar situation (and have been for years). Since I learned about Asperger's (when I was about 13, I guess), I've been seeing many similarities to my life - in some aspects, this has helped me to understand myself and others better. On the other hand, I get along quite well in life compared to many people with Asperger's whose stories I've read (e.g. on WrongPlanet).

My personal conclusion from all the arguments for and against is that I probably belong to the BAP (Broader Autism Phenotype). As far as I know, this term was coined when some scientific studies found that relatives of autistic children often had some autistic traits as well. It's a connection between the autism spectrum and neurotypicality (or whatever the noun version of NT is). The concept does not seem to be very widespread yet, though, and I don't know whether it's accepted by all experts. From my perspective, it can explain some important issues in my life.
If you want to know more, just use a search engine, but don't expect too much - there isn't much information on the topic. You might have some more success with a search engine specially for scientific publications.

But whatever you do, try not to make the mistake I made: When I first learned about Asperger's, I became quite obsessed with the Asperger's-like elements in my life - I think I was overly focused on myself during that period. I don't know whether you are the kind of person who's likely to do something like that and I don't want to sound patronizing. I just think I have to write this so that others may avoid my mistakes .

Feel free to send me a pm if you like! It might just take some time until I can answer it because I'm quite busy.

Theresa

What would you hope to GAIN from finding out? Would it make any difference to your life or be just another label?

These are the questions you should be asking yourself and if it is seriously important that you find out then ask for professional diagnosis but consider how you would feel with a positive or negative result.

You sound perfectly normal to me but I'm no expert. Even the most neurotypical of human beings has quirks.

You sound sort of like me; A neurotypical with a few quirks. Like you, I can generally read people like a book within a few seconds of looking at them. However, I have a few strange stims and obsessions that I would consider out of the the ordinary for most NTs. There's actually a quiz that you can take on this site: http://www.rdos.net/eng/

It's by no means a doctor, but it can give you a small idea of where you might fit. It told me what I imagined to be true - NT with a few traits, I actually scored higher than I thought I would on the aspie scale.

Give it a try!

Thank you all so much for the replies.

Some specific responses:
Kiseki -
Serious social difficulties? Not really. People just tell me I'm really weird. Generally, I say odd things, or my responses to what people tell me isn't what they expected (I guess you never know what I'm going to say. Lol)
Do I relate to people? Extremely well. My empathy score is off the charts. I believe to know all is to forgive all, based on my experience in life. However, even though I relate to people doesn't mean I can socially show them I relate to them.
Sensory problems? I don't think so. I've got my odd quirks here or there, but nothing that causes problems with everyday life. I hate noises (living in the city is the worst), but I grew up in the country, so hearing a noise caused by another person outside of my house while I'm home meant that someone was 10 miles away from the city on a farm down a long driveway surrounded by dogs. Not a good thing.
Follow a routine? Not really. Routines are boring. Then again, I do tend to eat the same foods every day, wearing the same clothes, and using the same glass over and over again. But what I do from the time I wake up to the time I go to bed doesn't have to be the same.
Hope these help. Thank you.

TPE2:
Sounds like me!

7Theresa:
Sounds like me! Lol. Also, thank you for the advice, but unfortunately I currently am, have always been, and always will be overly focused on myself. Not so much self-centered as just self-occupied. When I talk to someone else, often times I will look at myself from their point of view, and think about good things and bad things I could say, or how anything I say could be interpreted incorrectly, and thus I try to make my response to them in a way so as to keep them from misinterpreting what I said, but that usually makes it worse. This goes for actions, also. For example, I can't hardly walk out of Walmart without buying anything and not look suspicious. I mean, I walk out, see the old greeter man out of the corner of my eye, and then see him look at me, and I think thank goodness I'm not stealing anything, but then I need to look normal so that they don't think I'm stealing anything, but by trying to act normal usually means that you act a little different which makes it look like you're stealing something...

This happens EVERY time I don't buy something in walmart. It's not just a one time thing. Lol.

Moopants:
That is a very good question. I wouldn't really gain anything in terms of physical things. But I would feel better knowing that I've done "stupid" things for years and hurt a lot of people without meaning to, that I'm extremely "weird", etc, but that it's not my fault. Where as now, I feel personally responsible, and that I should just "try harder." And if I really don't have Asperger's or anything, maybe it really is something that I should just "try harder" about. The problem is, I hold myself up to such a high standard (ever since I was little), that I alway beat myself up for stuff. If it really wasn't my fault, then I'd feel much better, especially considering how much I've tried not to do odd things.

Awesomeusername: (I love your avatar picture. If that is you, you are very pretty.)
Thank you. I took the test, here's my score (just about the same as you):
Your Aspie score: 93 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 119 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits.

It also gave me a chart. Intellectually, I was almost 100% Aspie. Physically, I was almost 100% NT. (There were some exceptions on both sides.) One of the main exceptions, physically, was that I can't stand to be touched. I have a very big personal bubble. However, if I instigate the touching (such as giving a hug), I'm ok with it. I can't wear contacts (my eyes won't let me touch them), and I personally think I talk too loud, but nobody ever mentions it. Also, one of the questions asked about if I have to "deflake" my skin or something and I said no, but I can't stand any zit on my skin. I can't stand boogers or hair in my nose (I constantly check a mirror before going out into public). I can't hardly talk to people in front of me without looking away because I'm paranoid my breath stinks. I'm very attune to any sort of smell. Dunno if any of that relates one way or the other.

I would post a picture of my score on the test but I can't figure out how to do that without it already being posted on the web somewhere.

And to your latest replies, yeah I would have to say you sound pretty much NT but with some quirks (like another person said). Maybe you'd get along well with artistic types

PS- as a teenager I was very very averse to zits on my skin. But it was a textural thing for me. I also picked at whatever scabs I had on my legs or whatever. I had to go to the doctor for this cuz nothing would ever heal. Are your reasons more sensory or just because you are self-conscious?

Since none of your traits are disabling, meaning you don't need special accomodations in any way, I'd say you belong to the BAP population. It's already been described in this thread.

People often wonder why a person needs to know when you get along fine in the world. But I get the need to know. When you're different you want to know if it's some kind of personality defect or if it's natural so you can either work on whatever trait is making life more challenging or accept it.

I'm different and it affected my self esteem and I tried to fit in as a young person to my own detriment. I wish my parents were as savvy as I am about neurodiversity, but they weren't savvy about much outside of the mainstream.

My ASD child is doing pretty good. From my side, as his mother, I think all the work I've done to understand myself has paid off and benefitted him.

I fall within the BAP population and sometimes I refer to myself as Highly Sensitive.

Good luck on your journey to understanding yourself! This is a good place to be.

Thank you everybody.