Trying to BE the person you're obsessed with

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For those of you who get obsessions with people (there's probably not many of you but I know I'm one), have you ever wanted to be exactly like the person you're obsessed with the most?

I can have an obsession and be sexually attracted to a man at the same time. I can just have an obsession with a man and not be sexually attracted to him. And I can be sexually attracted to a man but not actually have an obsession with him. I do not become sexually attracted to women but I can be obsessed with a woman and usually a woman is the person I try to be if I am obsessed with her (it's hard to try to BE a man, as people of the same sex as me are obviously more easier to compete with). Obviously I don't let them know how obsessed I am, and I have learnt to try to make it look casual. I got tired of freaking people out a long time ago.

Do you try to BE that person you are obsessed with? I'd like to know how obsessions with people feel for other Aspies, because there are some Aspies that are obsessed with people, instead of facts, animals, films, videogames, numbers, etc.

Joe, I think what you have described here is a girl crush, and this type of crush is not sexual in any way. These types of crushes are actually common place. I have linked below a couple of articles I found on the subject. Do you think these articles describe you?

Links:
The girl crush defined

She's All That: Why Women Get Girl Crushes

Oh yes, when I was younger if I had a crush on a celebrity, I would try to emulate the things about his manner that I felt were great traits to have, even though I'm a woman and he would be a man. But I kind of converted the traits to whatever the female version would be for me. If I liked someone's confident manner and self assuredness, for example, I tried to adopt a little of it in a way that made me feel a little more confident too.

I also sometimes got into an interest that person had. I once had a crush on a musician who was into cars, and I developed an interest in cars too --- for my 18th birthday I begged my mum for "The Readers Digest Book of the Car". It was a massive doorstop of a book, all about every bit of a car and how each part works, with full illustrations and copious text. I read that thing literally from cover to cover, systematically!

It stood me in good stead though, because years later when I was woman alone with car trouble, I could often fix the small things myself and had enough knowledge to talk to mechanics about the bigger issues. So, my crush led to some great knowledge gathering that had a practical payoff for the rest of my life!

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Sounds like you're talking about 'role models' .

People in your life who you consciously, or even unconsciously, try to be like in some area of your life (could be just in some narrow aspect your job, or it could be in wider areas of life). In my case they are usually the same gender as I, but often not. But unless they are family members you rarely have reason to tell your role model that they are your role model.

Some have quipped that 'role models' used to be called "heroes".


There is nothing peculiar to aspies about having role models.

Absolutely; my first memorable obsession was with Garfield the cat when I was 10-12, and I emulated him all the time. I lounged around the house, wolfed my food at lightning speeds, had a stuffed bear named Pooky and a rubber chicken named Stretch. We had a chair with wide arms that I used to drape myself over exactly like he did, and for almost two years I didn't sleep in my bed, but on top of it, curled up with my knees and arms to my chest, face down on top of a pillow, covering my whole balled up form with a thin blanket to emulate the way Garfield slept. It was hard on my neck, but I was determined. I dressed up as Garfield for Halloween, and once copied the strip in which he stays in bed for an entire week. I decided to stay in my room for the whole week during the summer, and intended on accomplishing it with a sandwich bag full of cereal and a bottle of water. My mom helped me with my plan (probably to keep me from starving) and my sister got in on it, so we spent the whole week in her bedroom watching movies on our portable TV, sleeping in piles of duvets on the floor, eating junk food and playing board games. My mom was probably happy when that obsession ended!

My next person-based obsession came directly after the Garfield one in seventh grade, and lasted until twelfth. I became obsessed with Charles Schultz's Peanuts cartoons, specifically, Linus Van Pelt, Charlie Brown's friend who drags the blue blanket with him everywhere. Guess what I did? Yep, I dug an old blue blanket out from the quilt box under my bed and for two and a half years, from 12 to 15, I dragged that thing with me everywhere. it became a formidable weapon, and I learned to wield it with deadly force. I never quit sucking my thumb, so this obsession only intensified the habit. I wandered around all day spouting lines from Peanuts strips, and occasionally took on their slow, methodical and overly expressive speech patterns. I still sleep with that blanket, but I've stopped dragging it around with me. Near the middle of the second year of that obsession, my mom started refusing to let me take my blanket out of my bedroom, which I objected to vehemently. I'd use every ploy I could think of to get it out, from "playing superhero" to "needing a picnic blanket" to "being cold". I was a very determined child!

I am exactly like you in that way, I usually get obsessed with one person, its almost like an intense crush but i have no wish to see or speak to the person i am obsessed with i just obsess over everything about them at the moment i am obsessed with Brian Molko from Placebo, i have yet you be obsessed with people i know thank god.

I don't want to become the person i am obsessed with but i do tend to take on some of there traits, like how they speak, facial expressions etc.

sometimes i would primarily speak as a character when ever i conversed with another,
i watched this one show and thought one of the characters was really funny so i began to act like him just because the show kept running over and over in my mind.
that happens a lot....but this particular show was one of the longer ones and led to some bad habits because i was acting out the show unconsciously
quite a strange occurrence...and i don't really realize it's happening until the phase is over...then i think wow did i really go around acting like that person?