Making my parents understand

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So basically I want my parents to understand there is a possibility that I'm autistic, but every time I bring it up they just start talking about how perfect I am. I confessed about believing I was autistic in summer, cried it out in the car because I was tired of them annoying/bullying me for mumbling, but they wouldn't believe that something is wrong with me. I tried telling them which symptoms I have and that I know a lot about it, but then they just say that each of the symptoms are normal, not even caring about the combination. My mom even claimed that autistic people were ret*d, like people with downs, because of someone she knows which has an autistic son.

At the moment I'm having a lot of trouble with depression, and thoughts about hurting myself. I've had suicidal thoughts before, but fine at the moment. I also struggle to concentrate at school because I feel so down and my mind prefers to wander of and start thinking about how nice that wall looks. My mom blames the depression on sleep, even though I get more sleep than most of the people in my class, though I've had a bit trouble lately with falling asleep because I just lie there crying or thinking about a bunch of things.

I've listed my symptoms in two other threads here, but I may as well do it here too.

I don't say much
I sit in my room all day after school
Got bullied in School for being silent
Was alone most of elementary school, but a bit more social now
Been told that I sometimes disappear into my own world
I suck at knowing when it's my turn to speak
Get exhausted after big social meetings
Notice way too many details, difficult to listen to voice clips if I notice a tiny bit noise and even noticed that you could hear the people's mouths micron the radio.
Learned to ride a bike quite late
I mumble a lot
I have a hard time understanding sarcasm
I have a hard time keeping a conversation
Used completely wrong words in arguments before and harming people which I don't really mean to harm with those words
I have been taken advantage of a lot of times
I smile and laugh at the weirdest times
When I laugh my shoulders goes up and down (just me being odd)
I'm really clumsy


How do I ask my parents about getting a diagnosis, how are people diagnosed and what pros a d cons is there?
I honestly don't care about the price and I live in Norway, 15 years if someone cares.. Also taken some online tests like AQ, EIQ, Baron Cohen's tests and a few more, all of them said probably autistic..

Have you got a school counsellor you can talk to? If so, you can make your case to somebody who isn't emotionally invested in believing that you're perfect and who will be more willing to listen. A counsellor could then make the case to your parents, and hopefully they'll take it serious then. Even a teacher. Somebody who will take a more objective view of you and whose word your parents will take more seriously.

You say you're 15 years old?

The fact you've had thoughts of hurting yourself shows you can't keep this to yourself.

Yes. Find a person like a school counselor or a counselor at a public mental health clinic, if you have that sort of thing in your area. TELL THEM HOW YOU'RE FEELING, and that your parents are ignoring your symptoms.

This isn't an attempt to weaken the place your parents have in your life, but if they don't understand these serious symptoms you're experiencing, you need to get help elsewhere.

You're not alone, and not only are the people here interested in how you're doing, so are the adults at your school, and other professionals you should reach out to.

PLEASE keep us up to date on how you're doing, and do NOT delay in talking to someone in a responsible position about all of this. Do it TOMORROW. Don't wait. Even if the first person you talk to isn't able to help, they can be a step in the right direction.

Again, let us know how you're doing. Whether you're dealing with autism or not, you're dealing with something serious, and we want you to have help. YOU need to take a step, tho'.

Please do it.

The above poster's urgency is warranted and ought to be heeded. If you can't see a counsellor tomorrow, tell a teacher whom you trust how you feel. It's their job to make sure you get the help you need.

The first person to really help me told me something very important. "You don't want to die. You just want to end the life you are living." I've held this close to my heart ever since, because she was right. It's a subtle way of letting yourself know there are other lives to live, other directions to take. This applies to self harm as well. You want a respite from the emotional pain, WHICH IS JUST AS BAD AS PHYSICAL. The neuroscience backs that up. It's real and you can be helped. We're rootin for ya.

So I managed to speak with my math teacher after school today.. After almost crying and shivering a lot I told her about my depression and suicidal thoughts and also that I thought I was autistic. She didn't really think that I was so, but she took me to the counsellor because my depression needed to be taken care of. So I sat down and spoke with him, he obviously knew a lot about different disorders and asked me for some general symptoms. His conclusion was that I didn't soon really autistic, but perhaps a bit aspie. He also said that reading about things like this on the Internet is bad, because there is so much crap and so easy to just find a random disease and think you're going to die. Most people who get diagnosed only get the chance because their situations are really bad, but he said that we needed to talk more about it.

Both of them meant that the depression was most important and that we needed to do something, but maybe also talk about aspergers too. So I have a meeting with the counsellor on Tuesday. Also suggested that I write down what I think of because I have trouble with remembering everything I should say when I speak to people.

hugs, Andicel. Whether or not you are an aspie, having parents who won't listen is enough to
cause deep depression.

It's a good thing you got some help. Though I must say your counsellor's comment that you don't "autistic, but perhaps a bit aspie" is a little confusing, considering Asperger's is a form of autism (if it's even a legitimate subclass). They're right that getting a handle on your depression is the most urgent matter, but I understand perfectly well wanting to discuss autism just as much as your depression. Particularly since, if you are on the spectrum, this may affect how your treatment is handled.

I don't know you and so I can't make a judgment either way, but you don't list among your autistic characteristics anything that would fit under the RRSB (Repetitive, Repetitive, Stereotyped Behaviours) category. These behaviours (very narrow interests, stereotyped behaviours, need for sameness, etc.) are just as important to a diagnosis. Equally important, as your counsellor pointed out, is the level of impairment. This is rather subjective, but if you could show that your depression is linked to your social/communicative problems, you could probably demonstrate significant impairment. Have you looked into Social Communication Disorder? It's basically autism without the RRSBs.

I knew I had forgotten something.. Not sure if I have narrow interests, but been "obsessed" with different topics.. Pokemon, Nintendo, drawing, asd, different games, computers.
I'm not quite sure what you mean with the stereotypical behavior, but I do pretty much same thing everyday and I don't really like changing my schedule.. People who critic my schedule is the most annoying thing in the world, but I hate critism in general.
I also hate suprises and even just going out to the mall instead of being home is annoying (the mall in general is annoying)

Also, he told me I should write down what I feel, but not sure if he meant about the depression or about autism. Probably just ending up with a list of symptoms, but not sure if that is what he meant.

By stereotyped behaviour, I mean primarily stereotypies, or "stims". Repetitive, non-functional movements. The examples always given are hand flapping and head banging, teeth grinding and finger flipping, but there are a ton of them. Your obsessions are relevant too, and I think would quite easily count as restricted, narrow interests. It's not every autistic who is interested in license plates and only license plates for her entire life. In fact, that seems to be the minority. Most on here seem to have, at any one time, a narrow range of interests or an obsession or two that might change over time.

My advice is to familiarize yourself with the DSM-V criteria (or the ICD-10, whichever is used in Norway), and to come up with a detailed list of all the ways you fit the criteria. You'll want to go back into your childhood too, as these characteristics need to be present then too, though the new DSM criteria allow that the characteristics might not become fully obvious until your social abilities are maxed out.

Well my mom gets annoyed at me for flapping my hands at my legs all the time, also tend to put one and one finger on my hand from pinky to pointy in a fast motion. I rock a bit back and forth too and slide my hands against each other like you do to get warm.

How do I find those criteria thingies? I could google it, but I should probably sleep now.. Might be back in 7 hours though.

http://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism ... c-criteria<--These are the DSM-V criteria. Note that you need 3/3 social/communicative characteristics and 2/4 of the RRSBs. Also, the behaviours you note definitely count as stereotypies. I'm not sure about the ICD-10. Do you know what criteria are used in Norway?