Differential between experience and expression of emotion

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People find me distant and I was recently described by a social worker as 'emotionally flat'. I do find it hard to express my emotions yet, in fact, I experience them keenly and overwhelmingly. At the time I was described as emotionally flat I was burning up with emotion inside. It's as the title suggests - there is a large differential between how I experience emotion and my ability to express it. On the occasions I do express emotion it is oddly - hitting my head or, in the case of euphoria, bouncing around.

Would anybody else agree that they do not experience emotion flatly, it's the expression of it that's problematic?

I can totally relate to this. When I recently split up with someone I felt very sad (even though it was me that split with them, I had to because it was clearly not working, I was still sad to lose them) yet they said I was cold, I don't feel like I am, in fact I feel like I feel emotions more intensely than a lot of people. After that I got thinking and asked another ex (father of my kids) what he thought about my emotional responses and I found that in lots of cases what I was feeling I was not coming across at all.

It always infuriates me to see cops on TV make remarks about how they knew someone was guilty of something because "they just didn't express the proper emotion."

That is no indicator of anything. Anyone who thinks they're so gifted with empathy they can read minds, is fooling themselves.


There are a great many of us who not only can't just be 'read like a book,' we don't even communicate our emotions well when we're trying to.

I've been in a lot of pain due to the gender dysphoria, but I have a hard time expressing it. It's like everything just shuts down, my brain fills with fog, and I have difficulty speaking, expressing much of anything. It's like my default switches to silent, and it takes effort to compose words and express things.

My emotions often appear "inappropriately" late. When everybody is venting or crying or whatever I am usually numb trying to process it. After everybody has "moved on" I am just starting to feel it. On occasion I have had people disapprove of me because I was not emotional enough. Then I am told to "man up" and get over it already. How can can get over it if I am just getting into it? Can't win either way. Luckily most people seem to understand that people react to events in different ways but when they don't it is frustrating as hell.

Yes, Willard, this is how I feel. In the case of talking to health professionals, for example, the more emotional I feel, the more formal and detached I become. I feel desperate to express my emotions and am simply unable.



Yes, I know what you mean - when I'm highly emotional everything slows down and I find even physical action plays out in a kind of slow-mo. It's as if I get caught in an alternate perception of time. I slow down and thus appear even more uninterested and detached.

I have the same experience. People have often described me as cold, lacking emotion, or even insensitive. For instance sometimes when I feel sad, I will smile and not realize it. People think I am lying or insincere because my facial expressions and words are not matching what I am feeling. This is one reason why I feel very uncomfortable around sad people or situations, because I know they are expecting a certain reaction from me that I may be feeling, but just cannot express.

I have found that I am more expressive in writing, however. I have more time to gather my thoughts and find the right words. I also don't have to deal with non-verbal cues or gestures.

This happens to me all the time. I have been - I can't find the words to express how I have felt at times - so bad yet I have been told I am not talking about how I feel so there is no point talking. This was before being diagnosed so at least now I can understand why this happens.

No big difference between eggsperience and eggspression of emotion.

Instead, eggsperience and eggspression same, but either too low or too high eggsperience and eggspression.

I pretty much look like all of the time, regardless of what I'm feeling, unless I intentionally contort my face. People think I'm sad all of the time, even if I'm euphoric. But I do have rather shallow emotions, so...

I am actually inconsistent with this. Sometimes I express appropriate emotions and other times I don't. Sometimes I come across as cold and unfeeling because it takes me time to feel the emotions, they may come much later when I am in an environment that feels safer. Sometimes I feel and even express emotions much stronger than other people and to a much deeper degree. And I can experience these for many years after the fact as strongly as if they were raw and fresh. But sometimes they come at the time of the event as well. Sometimes I have trouble identifying the emotions. And sometimes I am very confused and don't know what to feel or if I feel anything at all. But I have also fairly often been told that my expressions of emotions or just my expressions are wrong or inappropriate or inappropriately strong, deep, or lacking.

I really think 'emotionally flat' is often used as a buzzword by psychologists.

And in your case zaneaspie, it sounds like it's just not accurate. Maybe flat expression, as if that's some kind of crime, and it isn't.

I want to be respected for the human being I am. And yes, I am willing to learn new skills and new ways of doing things, in fact I want to, but I don't want respect and appreciation contingent on this.