of course, what this is really about is the shift from social expectations to intimate expectations. those expectations for other humans whom we have scant knowledge of, depend heavily on codes & the sameness of the responders. when intimacy has been agreed, idiosyncrasies become relatively permissible. but intimacy-before-agreement is experienced as a violation. in short, one who is not predictable enough, causes a sense of violation to be invoked--at least, in those of a relatively rigid outlook.
"i am a human; nothing human is foreign to me." --this is the attitude of neurotypicals who can accept us for who we are.
"my planet: love it or leave it." --this is the attitude of neurotypicals who can only accept us as faulty approximations of themselves.
the "uncanny valley" effect can be countered, to a degree, if you have acquired a repertoire of cliches that can be deployed to defuse the tension. on the other hand, perceiving that tension as it accumulates, is another matter... i realize as i write this that i remember telling myself, when entering unfamiliar territory, something on the order of (in pictures): "what do you do when you meet a strange dog? you move slowly & speak to it gently. convince it you aren't an enemy. when it starts growling & raising its hackles, back off." also: remember what the form is of what you're supposed to be when you enter this situation. what do you come closest to resembling?
there are shapes where imperfection of presentation is part of the shape.
_________________
"I have always found that Angels have the vanity
to speak of themselves as the only wise; this they
do with a confident insolence sprouting from systematic
reasoning." --William Blake