Assessment next Tuesday

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Hello.

I have an adult assessment for ASD on Tuesday and I am of course very worried about it. I have paid to go privately as I cannot wait around for things such as GPs and the NHS, nor could I face having to speak to a GP and justify why I think I need an assessment. A pressured 10 minutes to get my point across would not go well. Last time I went to the GP (in tears) they told me to go to the gym for the endorphins. Useful.

At my assessment I am worried about doing so well at acting "typical" (of which I've had 32 years practice) that I will not get a diagnosis (fair enough if I haven't got/am not ASD but I need it to be a fair test). My other response to a social situation is almost silence, just answering questions in a perfunctory manner so I am concerned that a spoken interview is probably the worst way to gather the necessary information.

Has anyone been assessed as an adult in the UK and could you tell me anything about the process and interview?

I guess I am most worried that I will go into automatic mode and answer questions to put me in the best possible light. I find it very hard to disclose the things about me that I am seeking help for, I guess it is a large element of shame, and constantly trying to be like everyone else. It is natural to do it now.

Does anyone have any tips? I know I need to be myself but my mind is already in practice mode in anticipation of the process, trying to construct how I am supposed to behave in this new situation.

Thanks for reading.

Hello purplefeet. I haven't been assessed, so I'm only saying I know what you're talking about. I've sat with various people like GPs and so on, and have worn myself out scanning myself for the level I ought to be on; should I be making an effort to suppress little learnt talking mechanisms - how do I do that? - am I having an unusually good day? - why did I come here again? - Oh god now it's all I can concentrate on - now I can't say a word...
And so on. I feel I am in permanent rehearsal mode.
I'm glad to hear you've got to the major stage you have, that's really significant. I am fascinated by what you'll be going through, though. Sorry I have no advice. Did you have lead up sessions or submit any written assessment? I've found accounting for written assessment, what I've written, in a spoken assessment the strangest, since the different methods of communicating something just don't connect in my mind.
How long has thing process taken so far? Best of luck finding a level that best represents how the world feels to you.

Hello Voynich.

Thanks for your comment. It means a lot. I completely understand the problem of talking about what you've written, it's horrendous! I am much better on paper.

The clinical psychologist I am going to is well regarded in my area (if pricey). I am tasked with gathering evidence about my childhood before the appointment. I feel I've got as much as I can out of my mother before she's going to start asking me questions about my questions.

I have been going to a generic counsellor since May 2012 (due to a relationship issue initially) and it has certainly opened my eyes to the possibility that I may have ASD.

I have never managed to hold down a job for long (lots of tears before walking out usually) - my confidence is at an all time low with this. I do have a boyfriend (who lives a couple of miles away), and there have been frequent (meltdowns??) emotional outbursts from me and I honestly don't understand why he is still with me. I have rocky friendships, the most successful ones being at quite a physical distance so we do not see each other often.

My son was diagnosed ASD five years ago at the age of five. It is almost like I have got to the point where he is fairly well settled at school and he's no longer my "good excuse" not to go places or do the things other people want me to do.

Sorry, I have written too much as usual.