A lot of people here on WP have only discovered their autism later in life. I'm no different, having only found out that I'm on the spectrum a couple of months ago. [For the record, I am to have my official diagnosis by an expert in the field in early 2014. [However, my suspicion (satisfied, Fnord?) has been agreed upon by various family members and long-time family friends, my counsellor (a teacher with experienced with ASD individuals) and a professor (who has two Aspie kids of his own).
Anyway, I'm sure many here have the experience of looking back over their lives and finally making sense of particular events. A big thing for me has been to look back and discover that particular emotional "outbursts"/"withdrawals" were actually meltdowns and shutdowns. In particular, I recall a time when I was 15 and I (miraculously) had a girlfriend. (Thanks, Internet!) I was super anti-drugs then, as opposed to being the substance abuser I am now. My girlfriend, her cousin and I were at a music festival and they somehow had what I thought was simply an ordinary coffee creamer in one of those little plastic cups. I drink them. So I drank this one, and it tasted funny, like it had alcohol in it. My girlfriend (at the time) knew (a) I was anti-alcohol and (b) the creamer contained alcohol, and yet she still let me drink it. I utterly shut down. I sat near her for a couple of hours while awful folk bands played and I didn't say a f*****g word. I totally ignored her. I had my hood up and tightened the strings so I could shut the world out as much as possible. I was unresponsive. I don't even know if I could've responded if I had something to say. Only looking back now do I realize that I was having a shutdown.
It's neat to be able to make sense of those sorts of events.
I suppose this is the point where I ask if anyone has any similar tales to tell.
27 Nov 2013, 10:30 am
