Am I A Bad Person?

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I'm on state disability. I'm registered in the Aged, Blind and Disabled Program. It made me eligible for the Housing & Essential Needs Program which is funded through Catholic Charities. The HEN program helps with rent assistance as well as toiletries. They paid my December rent but notified me that January's rent will be late because of the holidays and vacations. I relayed this info to my landlord who didn't like it.

She belittled me saying I need to avoid these things, that paying the rent late can incur a $50 late fee, that Catholic Charities needs to get it together. I can't stand my landlord now. I hope their house burns down and everyone in it perishes. Does it make me a bad person to think that?

It's pretty drastic to call yourself "a bad person" for one angry thought.

It's not good to give in to anger like that. You start to dwell on daydreams about people burning to death, and you'll just end up getting angrier and angrier until it takes over your life. So, it's a bad idea. But I think your conscience is telling you that already.

Anger, by itself, is justified, though. Your landlord is upset that your assistance program will be late in January. She must be aware that this is not something you can change, and yet she seems to have taken her annoyance out on you. Many people don't understand what it is like to depend on an assistance program for your housing, and they don't understand that we would really rather be working. They have never considered what it would be like for them if they were to become ill or injured enough to become unable to work and need housing assistance themselves.

Is this going to be a one-time thing? You could borrow the money to pay your landlord, if you can get the loan, so that there won't be a late fee. Then when the money comes in, in January, you can pay the loan back.

Sometimes I think the best way to deal with people like this, is to prove yourself to be a whole lot nicer and generally more decent than they are. She doesn't like your late payment? Fine. That's her problem; don't let her force you into hating her. If you can manage to get the money in on time, via a loan from a friend, then maybe she'll feel ashamed about taking it out on you so harshly. Or maybe she'll feel smug about making the welfare bum pay up, in which case she'll show her true bigoted colors even more strongly than she has been.

But however she reacts, this is not your fault. You didn't do anything to cause this; the payment will come in, even if it is going to be late. You even notified her. You can't be expected to do any more than that. Daydreaming about fatal house fires is not going to make you feel any better.

no, but it makes your landlord seem more like the callous randian that she likely is.

No, it does not. I'm sorry that your landlord has made you feel that way.

Take the high road, be apologetic and don't give in to those bad thoughts (although, as long as they remain thoughts, they are fun to have )

If anyone's the bad person, it seems to be your landlord.

your desired punishment is disproportionate to the crime and perhaps innocents would be killed. I would be angry, too. the crime was words. the punishment should be words.

Thanks for responding, guys. I'm going to call her tomorrow to see if I should pay the late fee. She didn't ask for it that's why I didn't bring it up with her. This has been gnawing at me all weekend. It sucks. It's like my mind is paralyzed by this one idea. My brother had sent me some money for Christmas so I can give her the $50 if she wants. Really, anything to keep the peace between us. I've lived in this apartment for seven years that's why I was so insulted by the way she talked to me. I'd never burn their house down.

I like to believe that when your landlord meets her maker she will see her wrong.

RedRobin, your landlord is being very petty and mean. You've been there seven years for goodness sake! And she might want $50? I mean, that's just cruel if you ask me.

It's ok to have thoughts of another's demise, as long as you say a prayer asking God for the strength to forgive them.

Was the landlord having a mini-meltdown and might get over it? It seems like there might be rules against charging you a late fee if she is getting rent from Catholic Charities. But you're right, being confrontational wouldn't get you anywhere good.

I can't believe that that landlord is being so mean. It's not as if you'd been a problem for them. I think it's understandable that you should feel in that way. I've read enough of your posts to believe that you are a good person. Well, I pray with you that they will burn.

No, it just makes you an angry person at the moment. To say you were a bad person would be to say the whole of you is bad. Having one bad thought out of anger and frustration doesn't make you bad. Forgive yourself for getting upset & move on.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

I don't think so. It sounds like she hurt your feelings. I hate it when people get like that with me.

many landlords see their tenants as just these things that give them money once per month.

a negative response to negative treatment.
I wonder what happened to her holiday spirit?