Is there a way to find balance?

Post Reply New Topic

I'm new to the site and recently read the posts on "burnout" for a lot of autistic individuals where their job or social demands or any number of different things just becomes too much and they bolt or fall into a deep depression.

I'm 19 and I think I suffer from these "burnouts"in small bursts monthly if not every few weeks. Mainly from the frustration that no matter how normal I try to be, I will never get the it-factor that other people have because of the way my brain is wired. I also wonder whether I will amount to anything or ever find my place in society.

I am someone who is slowly learning not to be cruel to myself--don't go places you don't want to go, don't waste energy on people you don't really like, etc. But at the same time, when I shut myself off completely from the world or skip out whenever things get difficult with work or relationships, I usually feel worse. Often this sudden emptiness will send me into a sort of desperate search for another project or interest or some form of stimulation. It feels like I am being physically and mentally crushed by my own boredom and my own limitations. Does anyone else ever feel like that? It's terrifying and a bit exhilarating at the same time.

But my real question is, is there a way to find a balance? A way to not ignore my needs and desires as an aspie, but also keep in touch with the rest of the world and stay adapting to it so that I don't find myself in isolation? Also, as an aspie, what kind of job environment should I strive for? I have dreams of one day becoming a neurologist or a neuroscientist, but the quickness with which I drop an interest I loved so completely scares me. Especially considering the number of aspies who are remarkably gifted but have trouble remaining in one position or field for very long.

I am a driven and fairly disciplined person, but ultimately I worry that I'm at the mercy of my brain's short attention span and simultaneous desire to be alone and be included.

(I'm aware that many of you are probably wondering the same things, and I really don't know if there is an answer, but even your thoughts and your own experiences would be appreciated.)

try find friends who are similar to you -- preferably aspies. most of my friends are aspies, and we usually communicate online, by IM or e-mail. we only see each other once or twice in a month.

Well its hard to say, since everyone is different.

For me i can only take so much. Even back then. I had a job for like 6 years. In those 6 years i didn do anything at all besides work and sleep.

As nice as it is to have a job, it just came at to high a cost. When i burnout, i have to sleep, its i sit there like i have mental retardation or is drunk. I literally cannot function.

For me now its about considering what is stuff worth and getting enough sleep. i need 10 hours of sleep. if i do something very taxing that tires me out mentally i can sometimes have to sleep even longer.

The more sensory input i get, seems like the longer by brain needs to sort it out.

And its hard to do stuff outside, there is a lot of new input that tires me personally, even just people talking forever about pointless stuff omg.

It can definitely be dangerous to just push ahead, i was definitely a bit down after 6 years of pushing my self.

Not sure if there is anything you can do, other than limit what you do, i always got told back at your age, oh it well get better the more you interact with other people. It just never did, and i tried pretty hard all those years. For me it only got worse. Since back when i was younger, i felt like i had more mental energy, which i dont anymore or maybe i just spend it all :S

I would just suggest that you do what you want, and not what everyone else expects, oh you have to go to this and that, party, or whatever. its all about prioritizing.

No doubt the biggest things ahead is having to accept that your different and cant do what other people can, And that can be one hard pill to swallow, i dont it was for me personally. because i really wanted to be something to make my mother proud. But alas things dont always work out, when your deal a bad hand.

This is a book I highly recomment
Living Well on the Spectrum: How to Use Your Strengths to Meet the Challenges of Asperger Syndrome/High-Functioning Autism

You are very wise to plan what you will need before you need it. Although I did not realize it before I hit the bottom, I do believe a person can find a balance in meeting our personal needs and being a healhty contributing member of society.

I am going through the same thing, right now.

I'm struggling to get back into my interests after having a good time socialising. Strange thing was before this I couldn't put my books down and was more interested in learning about philosophy and neuroscience than having to go out into the world. Now my focus has switched. It's been two days and I just can't think about anything else but live music, bands, and getting to hang out with the band members.

And although I can seem to be social with some people I never get to share my interests with them. I have one friend I can talk a little about that stuff too but it doesn't seem to be enough.

I have a short attention span too yet seem to get fixated too much on one thing for what seems like too long. There's no balance.