Hearing but not listening, an Aspie trait?

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ashketchum
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06 Dec 2013, 4:53 pm

I have this problem when someone is talking to me:
I'll hear them talking, see there mouth move, assume that they are probably speaking English, but have absolutely NO idea what they're saying. Usually, I just smile and/or nod, hoping that I'm not reacting the wrong way. Otherwise I'll keep repeating "What?" until I understand (rarely), or I'll give up and pretend that I understand.
So is this normal for Aspies (or people in general), or am I just weird...?



redrobin62
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06 Dec 2013, 4:56 pm

I've heard of selective mutism but not selective deafness. Maybe you're the first.



arielhawksquill
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06 Dec 2013, 5:39 pm

Could be a central auditory processing disorder. Seems like it's more common in people on the spectrum.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Auditory_p ... g_disorder



honeyaureus
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06 Dec 2013, 5:40 pm

I have this problem all the time. Mom has to yell at me before I actually understand, and she gets all exasperated with me because I don't know what she was saying before she had to yell. She expects me to hear her/understand her all the time, and when I don't it makes her mad. She used to be more patient with me, but that was before I was a teenager. She probably thinks I'm just not paying attention (which is normal for teenagers apparently), and it's not because of autism. It really is like I'm from another planet... speaking another language yet! :lol:



Soccer22
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06 Dec 2013, 6:17 pm

I don't know if it's an aspie trait but I experience this. I've noticed it's because my mind is wandering.



Willard
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06 Dec 2013, 6:49 pm

ashketchum wrote:
I have this problem when someone is talking to me:
I'll hear them talking, see there mouth move, assume that they are probably speaking English, but have absolutely NO idea what they're saying. Usually, I just smile and/or nod, hoping that I'm not reacting the wrong way. Otherwise I'll keep repeating "What?" until I understand (rarely), or I'll give up and pretend that I understand.
So is this normal for Aspies (or people in general), or am I just weird...?



I only have this problem during a sensory overload, when there's just too much data coming through my brain's processor for me to sort it all out. I've had it happen to me at work, when trying to deal with one walk-in customer and having several others come in and start interrupting. When everyone's demanding my attention at once, I can't makes sense of what anybody is trying to say. :shaking:



Jayo
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06 Dec 2013, 7:22 pm

I have this problem from time to time, typically when I feel depressed or anxious -which can deteriorate into a vicious circle as you might expect.

However, I also rise every now and then, and stay on the right trajectory, where I'm on the ball, and feel upbeat as a result. I try exercising at the gym as often as I can, and find that helps. :)

It's not so much distraction in a flippant or inappropriate way - it's, as some of you sort of alluded to, trying to separate "the noise from the signal".
For instance, at work when I'm in meeting discussing some problem, I'll engage in tangential thinking about another problem, which may be indirectly related - instead of sticking with the current thread of discussion. But it's not like I'm drifting off thinking about being on a beach in Hawaii, or thinking about the latest best-seller that just came out or what have you.



Marky9
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06 Dec 2013, 7:32 pm

When I was working that would happen to me when my boss was talking to me about some technical or interpersonal issue.

My mind would first race around a bit trying to take in what he was saying, relating it to what I already know, thinking of my following questions, and so on. Eventually my auditory processing would just freeze-up. I could recognize he was speaking English; I could recognize individual words and short phrases/sentences. But otherwise I could not process what was being said.

It was quite frustrating.


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SG78
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06 Dec 2013, 7:37 pm

Probably more of an ADD thing. I have this problem from time to time, although it's gotten better as I've gotten older.


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auntblabby
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06 Dec 2013, 8:17 pm

every now and then the connection between the sound processor and the meaning processor gets dodgy and it all ends up sounding a bit like the teacher's trombone in all those Charlie brown specials on tv.



fondoftrees
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06 Dec 2013, 8:21 pm

I do this. Only it's generally due to the fact that I'm zoning out into what I was previously studying. I do have to try very hard to listen to people and actually absorb the information they're giving me.



Bluth
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07 Dec 2013, 5:21 am

I do this sometimes when I'm having a conversation that bores me. I do my part, I ask questions and pretend to be interested, but when the other person starts talking again I just completely drift off, and then I just go "Uhuh, yeah" when it's my turn to talk :?



AspieTurtle
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07 Dec 2013, 10:38 am

Yep! If I am experiencing an overload, the words take on a "Charlie Brown's teacher" quality.
I will try to focus but the words become non-sense sounds. I try to unravel the mystery language by watching their face very carefully to see if I can scavenge any clues.

The whole ordeal makes me feel very angry at myself and my brain because I WANT to know what is being said.



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07 Dec 2013, 12:31 pm

Yes, it's very like Charlie Brown's teacher or listening to someone talking in a foreign language and the babel fish or universal translator is malfunctioning briefly.

I was just thinking about this. It happens to me when I am not expecting someone to talk to me. Like a friend of mine was trying to get my attention and I could see his mouth moving and I could hear sound, but I had no idea what he was saying. I had to get him to repeat himself 3 times before I understood the words and by this point he looke a little irritated, as though I was messing with him deliberately.



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07 Dec 2013, 1:00 pm

A lot of times it happens to me when I'm extremely bored. I find that I get bored extremely quickly if someone starts in on something I care nothing about or don't understand. I either find myself daydreaming--completely "deaf" to everything that they're saying--or I just start staring at their face, which, if obvious, can become very uncomfortable for both me and the other person.

But I can also do it voluntarily now, since I used to zone out so much as a kid. It's kind of nice; like a built-in pair of noise-cancelling headphones. If I really don't want to listen to someone or just want to think about something else without the interruption of their voice, I can almost just mute them. My ears hear them, but to my brain they might as well be mouthing the words.



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07 Dec 2013, 2:09 pm

Willard wrote:
ashketchum wrote:
I have this problem when someone is talking to me:
I'll hear them talking, see there mouth move, assume that they are probably speaking English, but have absolutely NO idea what they're saying. Usually, I just smile and/or nod, hoping that I'm not reacting the wrong way. Otherwise I'll keep repeating "What?" until I understand (rarely), or I'll give up and pretend that I understand.
So is this normal for Aspies (or people in general), or am I just weird...?



I only have this problem during a sensory overload, when there's just too much data coming through my brain's processor for me to sort it all out. I've had it happen to me at work, when trying to deal with one walk-in customer and having several others come in and start interrupting. When everyone's demanding my attention at once, I can't makes sense of what anybody is trying to say. :shaking:


That´s my problem too. I can listen when it is quiet and there is only one person speaking. But if more noises come into my brain or even if something different takes too much of my attention (not only noises but also things I see or smell) I can´t understand what a person says to me.
To concentrate I sometimes just close my eyes when I listen to someone. But strangers who don´t know why I do it would consider this behaviour as unfriendly or uninterested although it means the opposite: I WANT to understand them and care about what they say but don´t show it with looking at them.


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