Daily Chores/Cleaning . . .

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Does anyone else on the spectrum really struggle with household chores and cleaning? Some days it's like I can't make myself do the dishes or laundry and it all just piles up and becomes more ominous. It's really strange that this happens to me because anyone who knows me thinks I'm a neat freak (grew up in a family full of slobs so they always thought I was kind of OCD about cleaning!) I find that if something really stressful happens I go on a cleaning spree but when I just want to commit to dust once a week, I can't seem to stick to it. Spring cleaning never works out either, I can make a huge to-do list but never actually DO any of it. Also, chores can take me so long!! I start cleaning one thing and then get distracted. It's so frustrating!! I thought these problems might have something to do with AS since I'm generally a clean person. . . Maybe it's connected to depression?

Anyone else struggle with this?

Last edited by PeaceFrog on 10 Sep 2011, 11:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Anything non-pleasurable that can't be done once and gotten over with is like death to me. I guess no one likes doing dishes but my God the whole time I'm doing them I'm thinking of the pointlessness and drudgery of life. It can't be that way for most people can it? It causes absolute despair in me. I've gotta figure out an alternative to doing dishes for when I live on my own cause they are the worst.

Yes very much so. Every time I've lived alone my place has been a pigsty

I'm thinking of buying a book to help me be more organized, "Is There Life After Housework?: A Revolutionary Approach to Cutting Your Cleaning Time 75%". It had some good reviews. I like the idea of being tidy and organized but it can be so hard and I'm not sure why it is for me.

That's exactly how I feel! While I'm doing dishes I always wonder how everyone else just does it all the time without even thinking. I also have major sensory issues with getting my hands wet, makes me cringe!! Dishes are the worst!! . . . Glad I'm not the only one who despises them.

I would definitely read that!

Dishes are definitely the worst for me too, PeaceFrog (Hello fellow Portlander, by the way ).

I need a high level of organization to function. Unfortunately, I'm the one who has to create that level of organization that I need to function. Household chores are utterly, completely exhausting, and sometimes impossible. I'm trying to get my partner to help me do things like plan meals and make a chore list, but it's really hard to get an ADHD person like him to settle down enough to make a list
I'm not going to admit to what my house looks like. It's...frightening...

This hits the nail right on the head for me! Lol. I'm also living with a partner who has ADD (and possibly AS) So we both struggle so hard to get things done from day to day. Organizing things is a nightmare!

. . . Here's a silly question for MyriaJean. . . Do you find it comforting to live in a city like Portland where we pride ourselves on being 'Weird'? I always feel so awkward around people but at least in Portland I can walk out the door and be reasonably certain that I'm not the strangest person around.

I just get them over with.

I almost can't tolerate myself if I don't do at least some chores each day. Things like vacuuming, dusting, tidying up the bathroom...I kinda...well...it's not fun but I don't mind it at all. Sometimes it takes more "oomph", but once I get started, it's as though I'm in a cleaning "groove". If I sound like a neat freak, I am. Also, I live with family and I'd feel too guilty if I didn't pitch in. Even making my bed, is a must, even though no one else really sees it. Dish washing is probably my least favorite, and I cannot cook. But I believe I compensate with the other duties I get done.

Chores are a big issue for me, I am constantly battling to try and keep the house clean. For me it seems to be a combination of 2 problems - impairments in short-term memory/executive functioning (I get distracted and forget what I was doing - including forgetting to look at to do lists) and a tendency to over-complicate things.

The over-complication issue is that I will think something like "I should wipe down the sink" which is not a big job, but I will then start to think about how I should get a new cloth out and wash the old one, which means I also start to think about how I need to do a load of laundry, and update the shopping list to buy more cloths, and how I need to do some ironing to empty the laundry basket from the last load of washing, but I really need to sort out the closet a bit more when I put stuff away, which reminds me that I need to buy new socks.... By the time all that has run through my head, spending 5 seconds wiping down the sink seems like far too much work and I put it off!!

The things I have found so far which help me with these routine chores are:

Linking tasks to things I already do - for example, I do a quick wipe down of the bathroom sink and bench before i have a shower. This helps with the short term memory problems, as instead of having to remember a list of things I need to do, I just have to remember the association of shower/wipe out sink.

I give myself permission to do "bits" of tasks, and not the whole job - for example, if I know I really need to tidy up and put things away, I will try to stop myself thinking about EVERYTHING I need to do, and just put away 15 items, then stop. I do another 15 items next time I think about it - it is truly amazing how quickly this tidies things up, but if I think about the whole job, I won't do anything. This can help with things like washing up too - if the whole lot seems like too much work, just do one draining rack full, or just the plates or whatever you feel comfortable with.

Yes It's also nice because whatever you're interested in, there's someone else who is too, and there's other Aspie types around.

I tend to let my household maintenance reach critical mass before I do it all in one go. Having to clean up every day would drive me nuts.

If you are depressed then this can definitely be related to the depression. Depression tends to suck out people's energy and make even little tasks like housechores seem like impossibly huge tasks to get done.

I don't know if ASD can have this effect too. It's possible.

I find that it helps me if I plan my chores and do specific chores at specific times/days. I may not really like doing the chores, but I can get them done if I follow the plan. What's harder for me is if the chores are unpredictable or if something/someone else messes with my plans. For example, my husband does some chores, I do some chores, and some chores get done by either one of us. I find it easy to do the chores that I always do, because I have full control over when and how to do them, but I find it harder to do the chores that I only do sometimes, because there's no schedule or predictability for when I need to do them. I tend to forget to do them or have to do them at other times than I would prefer because my husband has messed up my plans. Certain things also really turn me off doing the chores, like when it's my turn to do the dishes and my husband has piled a huge stack of the dirty stuff in the kitchen sink and put some water in it, leaving no space for actually using the sink to wash those things and if I take some of it out of the sink the whole kitchen will be wet and dirty from them, meaning I'll have to clean half of the kitchen too when I'm done.

Sometimes I don't have energy for my chores because I'm exhausted after a long day. Work and various disabilities and medical conditions that I have tend to use up all my energy and I really need to get some rest or relax a bit sometimes before I can get anything else done. Sometimes I have to prioritize chores, but I can usually get them done within a reasonable time.

I used to have depression and that made everything more difficult and chores became much harder to get done and I'd neglect some of them for a long time. That has happened a lot less often after I got better from the depression.

Cleaning, bills, maintenance... all very hard to keep going. And harder to restart as each day goes by that I let it slide.

uggh...

I enjoy straightening up and it's pretty much the only housework I do. It helps to live alone so you don't have to meet anyone else's cleanliness standards or shout, "Don't open that!" very often. Of course, every once in a decade I need to do a deep cleaning, but it's necessary and a real accomplishment, not that everyday drudgery that leaves you feeling used and abused.