Difficulties at Christmas

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We all know Christmas is a hard time of year... but being on the spectrum, how does it affect you? Seeing relatives is hard for me, since none of the folks on my mum's side understand autism and give me strange looks whenever I tell them I need my alone time. Presents can also be tough... I guess most of us can't handle surprises. I've had meltdowns over presents before... but those have decreased as I've gotten older.

For me, the hardest part is trying to decide what I want for Christmas. I want to make sure I ask for just the right things, because I don't want to wake up on Christmas morning and be filled with disappointment or regret. Complete surprises are an absolute no-go. On the other hand, I don't like ordering my presents myself, because then it takes some of the excitement out of Christmas Morning. I have reached a compromise where I compile a list and ask my mom to choose from that.

As an adult, I have never celebrated Christmas or any other holidays.
My mom tried to make it somewhat normal when I was young - big tree, making ornaments and lots of cheap, crappy presents. As I got older it just felt like a sham. It was just the two of us, and she would sit there ripping the skin off her fingers, in her filthy old dressing gown, while she waited for me to open presents we couldn't afford and I didn't want.
Most painful was the "family" Christmas at my aunt's house - she's an attorney, her house was clean and my two cousins were obviously NT's. My mom and I were the two family weirdos.
Miserable.
I do buy a little present for each of my children every year, and I let them participate in holiday activities through school and with their mentors. But I just can't see the point of it. I don't have the money, the imagination or the desire to decorate, bake or buy presents.

I quite enjoy Christmas Day. Usually it's just me, ,y wife and my father-in-law and it's nice and relaxed.

Unfortunately, Boxing Day is a different matter. We have to go see my Mother-in-law and her husband. That is the same every year - the TV is turned up to truly deafening proportions, while her husband watches some inane sports DVD he has been bought for Christmas, this is interspersed with him telling sexist an racist jokes, while doing the whole Alpha male thing. We are polar opposites - nothing in common at all. I spend all day biting my tongue, trying not to tell this man what a truly ignorant as*hole he is, and come away over fed (mother-in-law is a terrible cook, who serves a mountain of food and gets upset if you don't eat it), with a terrible headache and a sense of relief that I won't have to do this again for another year. Family politics can be very stressful.

I love surprises, although a lot of things I know I've got. I've done all my Christmas shopping, because I can't stand crowds.

I don't particularly like holidays, but it's a lot harder when you're a grown up. I don't hate parties, but hate hosting parties, which I'm expected to do for every holiday. And I'm the person responsible for buying presents for 20+ people and wrapping them. I wish I can go back to the days when other people were taking care of all the businesses and I just needed to show up.

Don't be miserable, though. There are plenty of NTs who dislike Christmas just as much. It's a particularly stressful time for most adults who are not rich.

It's hard?

If it's just my immediate family, I love Christmas. It's a very happy day, and I enjoy our traditions a lot! We open presents in the morning, spend a good portion of the day playing with our new stuff, drive around to look at all the Christmas lights in our neighborhood when it gets dark enough, watch Christmas movies, drink hot chocolate, lots of good times!

Unfortunately, we've very rarely had Christmases where it's just my immediate family, so I usually half love and half dread the holiday. My mom used to host Christmas dinners every year, which meant that I spent a lot of time dreading it. I couldn't even enjoy my presents because I was so worried about who was going to show up and when, or where we had to drive to visit someone and how long we were going to be there. At some family gatherings it is acceptable for me to disappear to my room after I've said hello to everyone, but my mom never let me do that on Christmas. We still did the fun things listed above, but not for as long because we had to do it before/after visiting with guests, and I could never really relax even after the guests had left.

Luckily, we've started a new tradition lately that involves our family meeting up at a restaurant for a Christmas brunch. I am allowed to skip out on it if I absolutely insist, but my mom always lets me know that she will be upset if I don't go, so I have always gone so far. It's better because it only lasts as long as the meal takes, plus an extra 15-30 minutes of saying goodbye in the parking lot (I'm not sure why saying goodbye takes so long, but they can't seem to stop talking). I still hate and dread that meal, but it's a million better than having people over to our house for hours and hours, or having to spend the whole day at someone else's house.

I don't even have anyone to be with on Christmas day or for the whole period. It used to be the time of the year when I felt particularly lonely because Christmas highlighted the fact that I am alone. Everyone is supposed to be with someone for Christmas but I'm all by myself. Now I got so used to being alone that I have become immune to loneliness. In my opinion those people who are complaining about boring presents/having to be with their family etc are rather fortunate.

As a non-Christian, I have never understood the Christmas holiday. Supposedly, it’s a Christian holiday, celebrating the birth of Jesus.

I never understood why the religious folks (who are actually celebrating the birth of their savior):
a) Don’t forego the pomp and circumstance entirely (as Jesus would have) and focus instead on helping the less fortunate and
b) Become upset that this supposedly religious holiday has become, effectively, a pagan holiday celebrating consumerism and over-indulgence

The entire thing annoys me. I don’t believe in either (Jesus being the savior or celebrating consumerism and over-indulgence). I do everything I can to avoid the holiday. I look forward to the new year, when it is over.

I know, right? Many people love the holidays, but for me it is just a bunch of excitement, surprises, busyness, suspense, and celebration. I avoid Christmas but unfortunately, my sister loves it and the big deals and excitement continue.

I like my Christmases to be just like the other holidays - quiet. No fanfare, no gifts, no noise, no trees, no people. Just absolute, pristine quietness.