Can we relate to those who are severely autistic?

Post Reply New Topic

I'm curious about how much we can relate to our severely autistic brethren who are very "low functional." What traits do we share that put us all on the same spectrum? I just feel like severe Autism is completely different than mild Autism.

I'm not sure why the differential. I can't speculate about the traits shared by me and others, but I would assume some commonality with regard to autism.

I don't believe in "mild autism." There are minor differences in AS/HFA and Classic Kanner's Autism that show up in MRIs, but that's not surprising, given that the lower functioning have other impairments on top of their autism.

>>Asperger & Autism: Brain Differences Found<<

Of course, in that article they say that it's the Aperger Syndrome kids who have the higher levels of brain connectivity, but in this article they say it's autistic kids in general:

>>Autistic Brains Hyper-Connected<<

I think the only difference between us lies not in the "level" of our autism, but in our abilities to function in spite of it. Our autism is no less painful, no less crippling, we are simply better equipped to soldier on through the noise and pretend we're okay.

Which, IMHO, can create more of a handicap, because we make it so invisible, nobody can see how hard we're struggling and when we falter, they blame us as individuals, calling us "lazy," "stubborn," "uncooperative," "defeatist," etc., and insist we "just aren't TRYING hard enough."

When your difficulty is obvious, people cut you plenty of slack. When they can't see how hard you're dog-paddling under the surface to keep your head above water and breathe, then you're just a loser who can't keep up with the team. That kind of heartless abuse gets really old after a few years.

Or decades.

While I'm not officially on the spectrum yet, it was things I knew about "traditional" autistics that led me to suspect myself of (at the time) "partial autism".

That was when I was in my early 20s. Maybe a year ago my therapist suggested autism totally out of the blue. I hadn't said anything. He was seeing stuff in me.

I'd say there must be enough there for high functioning autistics to relate to if a total layman like me could recognize a connection with himself, something no professional did until years later.

You question all autistics being on the same spectrum? Um...do you know what the word "spectrum" means? Gradual variations that lead from one thing to another. As in "low functioning" to "high functioning".

Did you know that some people who are legally blind can see the difference between light and dark? Even shapes? Some can actually see with very powerful eyeglasses, but not without.

There are gradual differences between different degrees of vision impairment....and different degrees of autistic impairment.

Come on! "SPECTRUM". Of course those on one end of it are very different from those elsewhere on the same spectrum.

No, I can't relate.

i get along famously with those who cannot speak and have severe problems with sensory input, in school they seemed to have liked me as well, watched House M.D with them and had no need to speak, it was great.

Sethno, I'm very much aware of what a spectrum is.

Willard, I think you make interesting points. I never really thought of it that way. I think I'm just so used to life being stressful and hard because of how my mind works, that I don't even realize what it takes to function in our neurotypical society. I don't even know what it means to "act like myself" anymore. I hyper-analyze how people think and function in society and, in some ways, I think I am more aware of how to be likable than the vast majority of people.

I don't see why we shouldn't. I mean, I might find some individual people annoying or boring, but that happens with NTs, too. Since I can talk most of the time, people don't call me "severely autistic", but appearances aside, I have learned a lot from what they call "severe autistics"--maybe because the cognitive problems I have, that are subtle on me, are obvious to them--so they know what's going on because to them it's obvious, while to me it's harder to figure out because it's not as strong. It's like I'm looking at my own image, only with the colors in brighter contrast. Some people who are considered "mild", on the other hand, have very little in common with me. I like them fine, in general; it's just that they don't think very much like I do, even though they're also autistic.

In the end, I had to conclude that I couldn't really divide autistics up by how severe the impairment was or how obvious it looked, because qualitative differences seem to cut across those lines more often than not. You can share traits with somebody who looks totally different, but not have them in common with somebody who looks really similar.

I have learned that it's a bad idea to make assumptions about other autistics--either that they are like you, or that they're not. Sure, you could be right; but you could also be wrong, and if you are, then you'll misread each other and mess up communication. Better to just start without assumptions and figure each other out as you go along.

There are some people here who have been called "severely autistic", and I think they get along fine here.

Anyway, it's not like there are distinct groups. Some people are more disabled than others, but sometimes you find that you have more in common with somebody who looks a lot more disabled than you do, because you think very much alike. Appearances can be deceptive--maybe you're a verbal, independent, job-holding, family-supporting adult, but your cognitive near-twin could be living in a group home and using PECS to communicate. It doesn't take much of a difference to change the way things look very dramatically. Two autistics may seem very different, but that doesn't really mean they must *be* very different.

No I can't relate to the ones who are severe. They are too impaired and way too different than me.

Not to thread-jack but worth mentioning myself as an example... I am profoundly Deaf and legally blind. I am currently listening to music (with the aid of some fantastic technology) and reading your comment on screen visually (I have tunnel vision, imagine looking at the world through a paper towel tube). I am eligible for a guide dog but I walk with a cane... And communicate by signing, lipreading, texting etc. People are very confused when a girl with a white cane whips out an iPhone and takes a video call in sign language! People have these strange binary ideas about being able to or not able to see/hear. The reality is very different.

To the OP:

I relate to them very well. I'm not sure why I wouldn't. I find other Autistics, no matter where they are on the spectrum, much easier to relate to than most NTs. I'm not sure why you seem to feel so differently - Can you explain your POV a bit more please? Honest question, I'm genuinely trying to understand what you mean.

I have a hard time relating to most people on the spectrum. I relate best with introverted NTs.

I don't relate to people well.

To be called "Autistic", I view that as an insult. I know that there, is all kinds of autism, but to me, being labeled "Autistic", is flapping, making funny noises, non verbal... That's not me.

I'd be happy, if Aspergers was giving a totally different catogory all together. We are nothing like the low autism, why should we share a disability name?

Hate to break it to you, but, besides having some internalised ableism a mile high, there are definitely traits we share with "low autism". (The hell, low autism? For real?) It's up to those who do not conform to the stereotype of autism, which is what you described, to show that autism is not just flapping, making noises and being non verbal.

(That said, I am verbal 95% of the time, but flap and make noises at times because it makes me happy.)

We share delayed social development, hyper/hyposensitivity, and some other traits. We definitely are the same.

Anyway, yes, I can relate to those who are "low functioning" (functioning levels are gross though). We share traits, and we share similar struggles.

Huh, I was diagnosed with AS (although now it's autism spectrum disorder, for which I am quite grateful). And yet, I flap, I am sometimes nonverbal, I sometimes make funny noises. That is me, sometimes. I don't find being labeled as "autistic" insulting.

So when you say "We are nothing like the 'low autism'" you should primarily speak for yourself. There's no such thing as "low autism" anyway.

You endure the same problems, but simply have less possibilities to solve them for you, by finding solutions.

So whyever, NTs can do that automatic, while I need to have all day a list with me, about people in the company, that I already met today, so that I know how to socialize with them, when meeting. Just as I simply created tons of routines in my life, to order my daily life in a way, that I can handle it, and dont need to waste my limited ressources. Or as I can relate about the problems and speech and all the informations you need to link, to finally resolve a meaning out of a bunch of noise. Nts do that with their automatic device without any exhaustion, I do it with my brain and get exhausted from it, so its limited to how long I can do so, and the deeper you are in the spectrum, and the less possibilities you have to compensate that on purpose by mechanically working with the informations, that should be done automatically, the more severe autistic you seem.

The more I am done, and dont have ressources anymore to compensate my problems by using routines, faking behavior, ... the more severe autistic I seem.