"Thanks for sharing"

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How do you interpret the phrase "thanks for sharing", when said in response to a story, statement of opinion, etc.?

I think NTs use this as a euphemism for something like "your attempt to engage or entertain me has failed miserably - I really don't care about what you just said". This is really quite a nasty thing to say, because it's hurtful - unnecessarily hurtful. People can just as easily say nothing or something neutral like "oh, OK". But perhaps my interpretation is incorrect. Have you heard it used with a different intention? Do you use this phrase yourself and, if so, what do you mean by it?

You are correct. "Oh, ok." could be interpreted in the same way.

That's about my impression; it's sarcasm, the underlying meaning being "why are you telling me this?" or similar.

I think sometimes it's even used for "that's too much information", as in something you should have kept to yourself.

I've never been told that IRL and have never said that.

I've never thought about that but I think you are right. They say it because they can't find anything else to say. If what you have said were truly appreciated, then they would be saying something deeper than that superficial comment. They don't want to say, "well, your story was boring..." etc. So they simply mention the fact that you have shared your story.

I have heard the line "Thanks for sharing" a ton of times.

In 12-step meetings, it is the informally-scripted but almost universally followed ritual group response given to someone after they verbally share something of their experience to the group. In that context it is a very neutral response, which is exactly what it is intended to be.

During one-on-one discussions outside of the ritualized group setting, I have heard it used in three main ways:

First, a person saying "thanks for sharing" could simply be following the 12-step group convention and using it as a neutral response.

Second, the person could sincerely appreciate the speaker's openness and willingness to share their knowledge, views, experiences, etc.

Third, it can be used passive-aggressively to mean either "you just wasted my time" or "too much information". I have found that this third negative intention is often identifiable verbally by a sarcastic tone of voice, and/or a smirky facial expression, or a highly overacted facial expression of fake sincerity.

It has been my experience that when someone says that to me outside of a 12-step meeting, the third, sarcastic meaning is most often intended. It causes me to reexamine what I just said in regards to:

- pertinence to the topic at hand,
- whether the person to whom I was speaking was the appropriate party to hear it,
- whether I came across in my usual pedantic, little professor tone,
- whether I crossed a line of social convention by saying some things that were too personal for the occasion.

In any event, my usual internal response is "Oops, I did it again - I'll try to behave differently next time".

I would not say that either, unless very specifically about something, like if a group of people were saying it as part of a ritualized interchange.

I think the best response might be a pleasant "thank you so much for listening" and then moving on and not revisiting the issue. Perhaps you said too much, ignored that the listener was bored, whatever. Does not excuse rudeness. If the person was being rude, that says a polite "whatever" but is not so much in their face as to be provocative if they meant no harm. Which they probably did, a bit, but there is little point confronting them and getting an escalation. I think a polite "thank you" like you mean it is probably best. And encourages them to behave better in the future.

I don't take kindly to sarcasm anymore. it's like people give you this horrible response, and expect you to figure out what is going on your self. very frustrating. I get down to brass tax by saying "no problem dick. is there anything you would like to add?". if they say no, I say, well I honestly don't know if I took that statement the wrong way or not, so please, feel free to be a dick if you have anything to add, and if you do not, than I apologise for misinterpreting your rather indirect comment.

I use it to acknowledge a post that is whiny, long ("tl:dr"), hard to read, or completely off-topic.

ah, this is one of those that can do your head in because it can either be a sincere acknowledgment of you opening up to someone or it could be a sarcastic comment suggesting you have over-shared or shared at a wrong time or to a wrong person or something else was wrong about it.

It is impossibly hard to say, even with long term friends. I have said it many times actually meaning both of the above - I was sort of glad that the person felt they could open up to me but at the same time what they said to me made me feel uncomfortable and I didn't know how to respond.

Communications with people are seldom without awkwardness. When I accepted that feeling awkward in social situations is a normal thing, my life became much easier.

Just shrug it off, it's not a big deal.

OK, so looks like I basically had the correct interpretation, except that people apparently do use it sincerely sometimes. I didn't know that it came from 12-step meetings - that's an interesting point, Marky9. I wonder if this is where the sarcastic meaning came from? That is, the person saying "thanks for sharing" implies that what you said would have been appropriate only in a 12-step meeting. If so, it's even more mean-spirited than I thought.

And why do you find that preferable to:

1) Simply not replying (which, after all, takes less effort)?
2) Replying with a short, but more specific reaction such as "too whiny", "too long", "too hard to read" or "off-topic" (which probably takes about the same amount of effort, but is more helpful)?

1) The person posted something, apparently with expectations of a reply. By acknowledging the post, I have met those expectations. By not replying, the individual has no feedback at all, and may resort to spamming or trolling for acknowledgment.
2) While some may consider it 'helpful' to post a more specific reaction, I've discovered that these 'helpful' replies are usually received as insults. If the OP wants clarification from me, then he or she can ask.

Ignoring posts is what I do most often, anyway. So if I ignore a post, it is because I have deemed it completely unworthy of a reply.

I was going to say something along the lines of "I see what you're saying, but I still think that either a constructive response or no response (depending on the post and the poster) would be better", but I just read a post that made me really want to say "thanks for sharing". (I resisted, though! Sometimes I go as far as to type out my response and then just close the window without clicking "Submit".)

It's hard to put my finger on it, but there is something that bugs me about that phrase. Perhaps it's just so... dismissive. Directly saying "your story/comment was (bad in some way)" allows for some discussion, could be constructive or at the very least is taking responsibility for the comment. Saying the same thing with a "thanks for sharing" really leaves the other person with nothing to say.

I think an apology or expression of gratitude includes the reasoning. Otherwise it sounds like it is superficial, or even sarcastic. "Thanks for sharing, it means a lot to me to hear that someone else has been where I am now and got through it" means something. "Thanks for sharing" on its own is confusing---for the literal minded especially.

I think an apology or expression of gratitude includes the reasoning. Otherwise it sounds like it is superficial, or even sarcastic. "Thanks for sharing, it means a lot to me to hear that someone else has been where I am now and got through it" means something. "Thanks for sharing" on its own is confusing---for the literal minded especially.

Cool story bro.


SOMEBODY had to put in the most current incarnation of 'thanks for sharing'.

I have used 'thanks for sharing' but only with close friends and only when I am confident the person I am saying it to will know I mean it as light teasing but not meant to be hostile or dismissive (as it could be taken with people I'm not close to). I use it when a friend has just told me something that is personal and a little bit gross but that are telling me in a lighthearted way- not because they are upset about it. They have to already be in a jolly mood.

Example: A friend was very sick last month but she is fine now and well past it. She was telling humerous horror stories about cleaning up her own puke. But she was telling these stories in a very jokey way. So after a particularly gross one I said "thanks for sharing".

If she was somebody I didn't know well, I wouldn't have said that because I wouldn't know if it would be taken in the light spirit it was intended. Since the phrase is also used as dismissal of feelings, the relationship between the people is very important. It carries different subtexts depending on the context it is used and between which people.