"It's just a label" - people being dismissive!

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Since my Asperger's revelation - which is still a bit unsettled in my mind and will be until/if I have an "official" diagnosis, even though I know in my heart that it answers a lot of my questions - anyway, since then, a few people have said things like "it's just a label, it doesn't mean anything", or suggested I might use it as a license to do stupid things or be rude. My sister, who has dyslexia, seems to be really competitive about it and says things like, oh well I do that too so it can't be the Aspergers, or goes on about her dyslexia.

I don't think people realise that it;s NOT just a label to me. It's hard to explain. I don't want to be using it as an excuse, and if some of my weirdness (the bad bits) gets sorted when I go through specialist trauma counselling (for PTSD) next year, all well and good. But at the same time, it strings together so many of my odd traits and makes sense of them. It's like everything has suddenly come into focus, but people are taking what is a huge thing for me and belittling it.

Has anyone else had a similar thing? How do you handle it?

As someone who's had a diagnosis for fourteen years now, I'm sad to say that you'll probably have to get used to this. Most NTs' knowledge of Asperger's is virtually non-existent, and whilst some of them mean well, they still can't stop themselves from spouting glib platitudes like "it's just a label", "you don't seem that bad to me" and "maybe you'd be better off if you stopped thinking of yourself as being disabled". I was even once told by my own brother that I should "forget about " my condition. Sigh.

Sometimes people are happy in their ignorance and don't want to have AS explained to them. With people like that, you might as well not bother, because you'll be banging your head against a brick wall. There have been a couple of isolated occasions when I've patiently explained just how much my condition affects my ability to function, and in what ways, and they've been fairly receptive, but most people who aren't on the spectrum just don't want to know.

Oh well, I suppose at least, if and when I get a formal diagnosis, I will at least have a piece of paper to wave at people to make sure I can't be discriminated against. And to help me explain to people that I'm not intentionally being rude, or lazy, or obtuse, or stubborn, and that I genuinely can't always read between the lines or take a hint.

Oh yes, and to wave at people when they try and tell me how I'm feeling, when I feel no such thing! Or I might feel it but not know that's what it's called

It's hard to explain to people that sometimes, we like having this label. It concretely defines our way of thinking and looking at the world in a way that, if not always satisfying, is at least understandable. It's not always good to be an aspie, but it's a great alternative to "I'm weird" or "I'm just lazy, I guess" in understanding ourselves.

I guess they kind of have a point. "Asperger's" is just a label, just like every word and phrase in the English language, and in every other language for that matter. There is no objective word for anything, so labels have to be made up for everything. In reality, everything is just a collection of subatomic particles that we attach words to, based on how we decide to categorize them. There are infinitely many possibilities for how everything can be categorized and labeled. Maybe in their personal, individualized dialects of English, "Asperger's" means something different from the most widely accepted definitions of the term. It's not wrong, it's just only standardized among themselves. It skews their perception of reality by creating a language barrier between them and people who use the most standard English definitions, but it's technically not wrong because language is just an invention of humans that can be altered in any way someone chooses. The problem seems to be that they fail to realize that there are objective differences between people classified as having "Asperger's" and the majority population. Whatever label they decide to attach to those objective differences, they don't change with the way that label is defined, or cease to exist with the lack of a label. "Asperger's" itself is just a label, but the objective differences that the term represents are still significant.

Very intellectual and objective response there Mike, and probably factually correct.

It's not "just" a label. It's not an arbitrary word that I've chosen to describe myself because I like the way the syllables roll off my tongue, or the sibillation. It has a very real meaning for me, and there are wider associations as well.

It's like saying that me being a lesbian is just a label. Well yes it is, but that label means that if I go to Russia I'm instantly breaking the law. In other countries I could be stoned, imprisoned, or subjected to corrective rape. Of course there are positive associations too, such as being part of a community.

I get told this by my husband when I question rather I have it or not. My mom says the same thing in general about it about people who need extra help and she sees it as a label is a tool to get the help they need. People have to have a label to get the right help. It doesn't matter if they truly have it or not but if it gets them the right help it needs, that's all it matters. Also a label can be a bad thing because then people look at the word and treat you like you are that instead of you and what you can do. Instead they look at the label and assume what your limitations are and hold you back and tell you you can't do this or that or learn this or that.

I was acting this way before I found out and got a label so whether it's a label or not would not change who I am. So just because I have a name for it now does not make me a different person than before I had the name for it. I find that now I am sometimes more Aspie than I used to be simply because I don't need to hide as much as I used to. The "label" as given me the freedom to be me and not always hide like when I thought I was just weird.

My dad used to think autism was a label too, but then, after i explained things to him, he relised that i do need help. and he understands now that life is hard for me

My dad used to think autism was a label too, but then, after i explained things to him, he relised that i do need help. and he understands now that life is hard for me

Anyone who says stuff like "It's just a label"?

Say "Yeah, it's a label. Things have names and that's the name of the neurological problem I have. If I've got to live with it, so do you. If you don't want to recognize the reality of my situation, I don't see how you can have a place in my life."

I tend to have trouble; forgetting things; organization; socializing, etc. I usually don't mention Autism, but when I mention that I just can't help it, my grandmother yells and accuses me of "using my disease as an excuse" 

It is not "just a label."

I lived with my handicaps EVERY DAY for nearly FIVE DECADES before I ever knew they had an official name - not knowing the NAME never made the handicaps less disabling.

I don't experience noises as physically painful because of a label. I don't become sick with anxiety to the point that I cannot move or think beyond rocking back and forth, because of a label. I do not live with chronic depression and thoughts of suicide because of a label. I did not have 33 jobs in 30 years and get fired from 28 of them because of a label. I don't lose my ability to verbally communicate my thoughts and feelings under social stresses because of a label. All those things were present many, many years before I ever heard the words 'Asperger Syndrome' or 'High Functioning Autism." And a simple look around me shows me that "everybody" is not having these problems.

"Weirdo," "Oddball," "Loser," "Freak," "Emotional ret*d," "Slacker," - those are labels.

That's as stupid and insensitive as telling someone with no legs "Paraplegic, oh pshaw - that's just a label, there's nothing really wrong with you. Everybody has a little trouble walking now and then"

Is Polio 'just a label'?

I went through this back when I got diagnosed with ADHD...not so much people saying things like "it's just a label" but flat out telling me, ADHD doesn't exist, it's not real, you don't really have it, etc. I was so confused because for years people had been trying to figure out what was "wrong" with me and label me with something. So I thought this was what they all wanted and now they would understand me. But instead pretty much everyone I knew was totally dismissive of it. It actually made some people angry when I brought it up, like they thought I was trying to get away with something.

It didn't make anything better to tell people, it just made things worse. So I gradually stopped talking about it and really just tried to forget it and put it out of my mind. I regretted that I even got the diagnosis at all. I basically went into denial which is easy to do when everyone else around you is denying it too. But once I got in my 30's, I realized the symptoms of ADHD were still affecting me, whether I thought about myself as "a person who has ADHD" or not.

Now I realize I have other issues that are not fully explained by my ADHD diagnosis. Maybe I have autism, or dyspraxia, sensory processing disorder or some other neurological disorder. The label itself is not the most important thing, I just want to understand why I am so different from other people and why certain things are so difficult for me. But the labels are really useful because they represent a context for understanding my differences. Having a name for something helps me do more research and talk to other people about it.

If people say something like, "it's just a label"...I could explain that it is so much more than that, but I don't think they are able to hear me. It is like they already have their minds made up about it in some way. If anything I think those people are the ones getting hung up on a "label", not me. They get so hung up on the label itself and their own associations with it, that they can't see past it to see what it represents for you as an individual.