Do aspies also fail to pick up written cues?

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I have found through a lot of online gaming that its quite easy to pick up when someone is really intoxicated. I play Runescape and certain people starting absolutely abusing the chat so its pretty obvious. My question is, do aspies out there find it hard to know when this is happening?

Hi, Jabberwokky.

Well, I'll tell you it's interesting. From what I've read and from my own experience, Aspies are very bad and picking up social cues, whether it's live in-person, reading fiction, or over some other media such as Skype or online gaming.

But there seems to be something that we Aspies do have that most NTs don't. Since we have been raised to be hypervigilant (especially regarding the emotion of fear), we almost have a sixth sense. We don't get social cues but we can "feel" if something is wrong, or if something is safe, or if something is off. I don't know why, unless it has to do with our ability to discern some detail of some kind which other NTs miss.

So what you are reporting does not surprise me in the least.

I cannot "read between the lines", and I have read that this is a common aspie trait. Aspies are reputed to interpret things literally.

Chances are I won't get it unless it's explicitly spelled out.

I know I used to. Lots of people with some measure of literary skill will take something and convey it subtly in writing. Over time, I've been burned enough times that if my "spider sense" says something isn't right, I scrutinize written messages to see if there may be a hidden intention behind the words.

It makes me prone to paranoid/delusional thinking, but it's the only way to watch out for someone trying to convey a hidden threat (mostly so you can't get them in trouble for overtly threatening you). A play on words is an easy way to threaten someone with plausible deniability.

A perfect example was when I wanted someone's assistance in attending a training school. When I finally got word back from an underling, his exact words were, "Mr. X is UNWILLING to help you." Now, maybe it was just me being paranoid, but if he didn't want to help me, he could have said that "Mr. X is UNABLE to help you." There is a universe of difference between using the term "unable" and using the term "unwilling." At that time, I understood that many people who are not careful with their choice of words will pick terms that reflect what they really feel on the inside. For the messenger to convey that his boss was "unwilling" to help means in the course of their dialogue, it wasn't that he could not help, but that he did not want to help me in particular.

Maybe I read too much into the use of words, but given all that happened afterward, I don't think I was off about the man's real intentions towards me.

Yes, I miss social cues in general, including written.

I highly agree with this. Because of this I am rarely tricked.

i simply forget them, when i forget them someone always reminds me and i apologize, during a social situation i always got through all my known social cues.

no as a lot of people ADMIT "im drunk posting weeeeee" or "post in this thread while high" etc

Oh and their posting gets REALLY bad too.

The part I tend to have issues with most is knowing weather I need or am expected to respond to a comment or not.

I don't know when to stop responding. I feel rude not to respond but also feel annoying to keep responding. I seriously dread that kind of situation.

That's a problem for me too.

This, even in text messaging.

Well, I see some social cues here in the posts on Wrong Planet.

Some posters are openly hostile.
Some are more passive -aggressive and subtle, but I can still see hostility.
I see people getting defensive because they feel attacked.
I see people arguing and arguing because they cant bear to lose the point.
I see people making banter with each other, and I understand that is a way of making/maintaining friendship.

However, I am sure I miss some things:
I remember individual members who post regularly by their avatars, but I don't notice who is friends with who, or if any members have formed groups. I'm not aware of who likes each other and who dislikes each other. I don't particularly like or dislike anyone on the boards, or consider myself friends with anyone. You all seem quite neutral to me.
I see threads as a list of ideas rather than a conversational flow, which I am aware may sometimes be a social mistake. Sometimes I get the impression that I offend people on here by popping up in the middle of some thread, and giving an overly intellectual answer at the wrong time.
I've never understood flirting, it goes right past my radar. I am sure there is some flirting that goes on the boards but I haven't noticed it.
The chat threads that roll on and on without any real purpose confuse me. I would not have a clue what to write in one of those.

Same here, and I do notice those things on other forums. That's a big part of why I like posting here better than other (NT) places. It feels very neutral and I don't notice any "cliques" here.

When it comes to other forums though, I am very keen to notice a subtext in the way other people communicate. Most of the time it feels like what they write is loaded with multiple layers of meaning, and there's way too much "drama" going on.

When it comes to flirting, I *think* I pick up on it more easily online than I do in person. But I also think, whether it's online or in real life, I notice it when other people flirt with each other, I just don't always notice when someone is flirting with ME.

It just doesn't occur to me to wonder whether people are drunk or high when they are posting online. So I can't really tell.

All of that holds true for me too. I see those things and I often fail to see who likes or dislikes each other, unless it's very evident or said directly.