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Cristmas faux pas?

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buffinator
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25 Dec 2013, 11:38 am

I work as a caretaker for a young adult and I did not buy him a Christmas present this year. His mom, however, bought me several very nice gifts and now I feel like an ass. Do I need to get him a gift?


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jk1
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25 Dec 2013, 11:45 am

Oh, that's awkward. You must be feeling bad about that. I don't know what you can do. Maybe you can give him a nice present on another occasion?



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25 Dec 2013, 12:46 pm

christmas is aspie hell.


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wozeree
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25 Dec 2013, 12:50 pm

Maybe you aren't supposed to get him anything. Our bosses give us gifts, but we don't give them one back. Sometimes it's inappropriate. Seeing as he's a kid, not sure how that would work. Yeah, it's confusing for Aspies! But I wouldn't feel too bad about it, if you are kind to him and work well with him that's what matters.



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25 Dec 2013, 1:19 pm

What if you bake a cake for them or just buy one and bring it in to work. I think with cakes people don't have to have an official reason to give them to each other, they just do and it shows consideration and appreciation. (Cakes, or any baked good basically). Food offerings always seem to make people happy, I think that's because the gesture addresses an ancient instinct for the appreciation of the symbolism behind gifts of "life fuel", especially if it is a special treat.
PS: Giving them a raw chicken and a pound of beans would not have the same effect, it would imply they are poor and they would get angry. (joke)



cathylynn
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25 Dec 2013, 4:40 pm

when in doubt, buy a gift. I'm sure it would be appreciated.



buffinator
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25 Dec 2013, 8:10 pm

I have a confusing chain of command, I caretaker for a guy and so as the legal guardian she is my "boss" as opposed to the nice lady who I send my time-sheet to who signs my paycheck and coordinates with other staff who is my "Boss." I wasn't really expecting presents and while I have bought them in the past I didn't last year and wasn't planning on it this year. I think this may be a response to me having a mental breakdown on the job in her presence a month ago... Also I'm Jewish so it's odd for me (though really festivus is more my jam anyways).

Suspie wrote:
What if you bake a cake for them or just buy one and bring it in to work. I think with cakes people don't have to have an official reason to give them to each other, they just do and it shows consideration and appreciation. (Cakes, or any baked good basically). Food offerings always seem to make people happy, I think that's because the gesture addresses an ancient instinct for the appreciation of the symbolism behind gifts of "life fuel", especially if it is a special treat.
PS: Giving them a raw chicken and a pound of beans would not have the same effect, it would imply they are poor and they would get angry. (joke)


I would be fired immediately if I baked them a cake. the lady is Cristian and very homophobic if I deviate from gender stereotypes at all she freaks out that I'm a homosexual molesting her son.


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OliveOilMom
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25 Dec 2013, 8:26 pm

buffinator wrote:
I have a confusing chain of command, I caretaker for a guy and so as the legal guardian she is my "boss" as opposed to the nice lady who I send my time-sheet to who signs my paycheck and coordinates with other staff who is my "Boss." I wasn't really expecting presents and while I have bought them in the past I didn't last year and wasn't planning on it this year. I think this may be a response to me having a mental breakdown on the job in her presence a month ago... Also I'm Jewish so it's odd for me (though really festivus is more my jam anyways).

Suspie wrote:
What if you bake a cake for them or just buy one and bring it in to work. I think with cakes people don't have to have an official reason to give them to each other, they just do and it shows consideration and appreciation. (Cakes, or any baked good basically). Food offerings always seem to make people happy, I think that's because the gesture addresses an ancient instinct for the appreciation of the symbolism behind gifts of "life fuel", especially if it is a special treat.
PS: Giving them a raw chicken and a pound of beans would not have the same effect, it would imply they are poor and they would get angry. (joke)


I would be fired immediately if I baked them a cake. the lady is Cristian and very homophobic if I deviate from gender stereotypes at all she freaks out that I'm a homosexual molesting her son.


I would find another job ASAP. Accusations like that are dangerous and you can lose your job, your place with the agency that placed you with him, references for future jobs, and any chance of working in the health care field ever again if she were to come up with some bs like that sometime. Also, she could get you put in jail if she was shrill enough about it. Seriously, get out of there as soon as you can.


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buffinator
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25 Dec 2013, 9:28 pm

I've been doing it for three years and I'm leaving in the summer. The threat of S.A. complaint is not imminent right now and the previous event was a while ago.

this is not a life-or-death problem thread it's an oopsy-daisy thread, but thanks for the concern.


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25 Dec 2013, 9:34 pm

buffinator wrote:
I would be fired immediately if I baked them a cake. the lady is Cristian and very homophobic if I deviate from gender stereotypes at all she freaks out that I'm a homosexual molesting her son.


Wow, that's just bizarre. Maybe some kind of gift basket with edible treats? Or nothing - if she's that unpleasant, why bother...