My 15 year old son is not talking to anyone

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I am new to this forum & hoping for some help. My son from first marriage is 15 years old & was been diagnosed with Aspergers around 8 years ago. I live in Texas & he lives in another state with his mother. Lately, his mother has told me that he is not talking to anyone except me - not to his teachers, classmates, friends or even his mother. I communicate with my son by cell phone (text & calls). What can I do to help him communicate with others?

Please understand my statements are challenging, but not hateful, spiteful or angry...

Why does he need to? It is very neurotypical to force communication. Chances are (and I cannot make this statement for CERTAIN, but I suspect) that he was quiet one day, and everyone started commenting on it... then he got uncomfortable and it feeds back on itself.

Simply put... if he doesn't have anything to say, he doesn't need to talk... and often, most NTs are not worth talking to in the minds of many Aspies... especially the young...

I am tooting my own horn here... but I write a blog series designed to facilitate NT/Aspie understanding... I think it might give some insite... The "care and feeding of your aspie" entries specifically http://wayoutonthecorner.blogspot.com

Probably overwhelmed.

If school is doing it (most likely), then there's not much you can do. Perhaps find a way to have some overwhelming things avoided.

Rarely spoke in high school over here (to the point of being mute as the years went on). Leaving was the only fix, but I had no label then, so support was out.

Propably selective mutism. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selective_mutism

My communication at that age was limited to short household exchanges with my parents, no conversation to speak of, just "yeah" and "no" and "okay, fine" - stuff like that. Most of my life outside of school I spent in my room, drawing, painting or reading with music on. Throughout most of school, I was effectively mute. Only for a brief period in 6th grade and the last 2 years of High School did I ever have actual friends. Coincidentally, it was about that time I took my first job, in the communications industry and started talking for money and I haven't shut up since.

Actually, that's not accurate - I can do standup for hours in a closed room by myself. I'm still primarily silent around live people.

Point being, it's not unusual for Aspergians to be untalkative. It's kind of a natural state for a lot of us.

One of the reasons I've never been too keen on yakking it up around other humans is that my brain doesn't work like theirs do - they rarely understand or care about what I'm trying to say, frequently misinterpret and seem to love to argue with me. Anything I say can and will be used against me at some later date if not today, so it's just better to remain silent.

Wow - thanks so much to everyone who has posted - your comments are very comforting & insightful. I will certainly take your advice & just not worry so much.
Fyi, my son loves video games & I have taken his lead - purchased an xbox & play online with him whenever possible. His mother has told me that this has helped him - will see what other activities we can share that he likes.
Also, will provide updates on my Aspi on this thread. Can thank y'all enough for your kind words - will look at your blogs as well for further insight.

I'm 40 and I still don't talk, if I can get away with it.

The only time I do talk is at work because my job requires me to and even then it's scripted.

There is nothing wrong with being quiet or mute. It doesn't mean he won't be happy in his life.

Stop worrying.

At first glance I was thinking you were saying, "My son isn't communicating with anyone," and I went "uh-oh, that's a problem". But then I saw he was texting, so that's a lot better. It seems he's just given up on talking out loud--he can still communicate.

I second the idea about selective mutism; that can happen to many of us especially when we're stressed out.

Keep communication open with him, and don't push too hard--creating anxiety around communication will just make things worse.

I wanted to tell you that I wrote an entry of my series "Care and Feeding of Your Aspie" based on this thread...

it is HERE

Try sharing a room with him doing quiet (separate) activities. Just sit quietly by him, and see what happens.