Page 1 of 1 [ 8 posts ] 

GinBlossoms
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 26 Sep 2013
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 173

27 Dec 2013, 4:21 pm

That is, how can I be a "good" aspie that doesn't sound like an a**hole? I felt this way especially after I posted an offensive thread in the adult section without being able to foresee it's offensiveness. And I still say the wrong thing sometimes.



zer0netgain
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Mar 2009
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,613

27 Dec 2013, 4:58 pm

If you know what to do when you are supposed to be on your "best behavior," and you can do it, that's the best advice I have...at least until you develop an understanding of what is appropriate in a given situation.

Yes, it is exhausting to do that.



League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,280
Location: Pacific Northwest

27 Dec 2013, 5:11 pm

What was the thread you posted?

I remember posting in the section years back and members there always seemed bothered by things I posted despite other weird threads being posted there by members. Why were mine any different? Someone once pointed out it was how I say them when I made a sarcastic remark asking members to get upset with a OP too for what they posted. Now I just don't go here much anymore and make threads. People don't seem pleased with what I post here so I seldom make threads.


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.


hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,747
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

27 Dec 2013, 5:33 pm

I guess it might help to write out what you are thinking and read it over and think about how other people might interperate your words. Could someone misunderstand what you've just said. Is there a kinder way you can phrase what you are asking?

Holding your hands up and admiting that you made a mistake is the first step. Hopefully kind people will be able to point out where you went wrong. I know that it is difficult to imagine sometimes how another person might take your words, but I guess you just learn over time.

It is frustrating though, especially when no offense was meant in the fist place.



Agathon
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 26 Dec 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 56

27 Dec 2013, 6:44 pm

Acknowledge your mistakes and shortcomings...everyone comes of as an ***hole frequently, but true ***holes are those that just can't admit that and instead treat everyone else like rubbish.



shortcircuit3
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jul 2012
Age: 124
Gender: Female
Posts: 86

27 Dec 2013, 7:40 pm

i don't think the issue is uniquely autistic. i think there are certain ettiquettes and sensitivities everyone should assimilate (ideally) which makes the issue uniquely human. it's just the learning curve might be a little steeper on our end.

i haven't read the thread therefore i have no idea what was said. but here are two things i've learned are important in interacting with people.

1. listen to and consider others feelings (i believe you have done this or you would not have made this post).
2. learn from your mistakes (you are already working on this bit).

if i'm really uncertain if something might be egregiously offensive, i type it out and ask my mom or therapist - someone i know and trust - to read it over, or listen to me say it, before i email it or say it to my target audience. that way i can get feedback in a safe place and temper myself accordingly.



Musicgirl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jun 2013
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 799

27 Dec 2013, 8:30 pm

Try to imagine the words beings said to you before you use them. always try to treat others the way you want to be treated



GinBlossoms
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 26 Sep 2013
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 173

28 Dec 2013, 5:56 pm

This doesn't happen anymore because I tried watching my butt since, but there was a certain forum I went to where I was teased for my opinions and expressions. Thing is, per forum account, I never once contributed over 100 posts, so I am not as active a forum poster as I'd like to be. It seems that everything has already been contributed.