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JSBACHlover
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31 Dec 2013, 4:04 pm

Ok, I've gone through this before, but I am looking for some advice from professionals.

I'm in group therapy for what is called "codependence." Every time I do "work" in group, the therapists complain that I lack focus and don't communicate clearly about what I want to work on. Now, my I.Q. is off the charts, but nonetheless I have no clue what the therapists are talking about. I think I'm clear but no one else does.

The other people in the group talk about their stuff and they always get good feedback. But all I get is, "You're not focused," and "you need to focus." I'm at an utter loss. I suspect this is due to my Asperger's (which they don't believe I have).

Any thoughts?



bumble
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31 Dec 2013, 4:12 pm

Group therapy sucks and is full of people who are obsessed with their feelings and their ego.

It's all I have sorry.

I never do group related therapy stuff, it would drive me insane.

Are they bothered by the amount of detail you give or something? I find people in general hate detail or people who run off on tangents.

Do you run off on tangents?

Personally I like detail and tangents but each to their own.



btbnnyr
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31 Dec 2013, 4:34 pm

I found group therapy boring and useless for problems that I didn't ackshuly have, but I did learn that people think verry merry berry different from me during it, so that was a plus of group therapy.


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Sethno
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31 Dec 2013, 4:58 pm

JSBACHlover wrote:
Ok, I've gone through this before, but I am looking for some advice from professionals.

I'm in group therapy for what is called "codependence." Every time I do "work" in group, the therapists complain that I lack focus and don't communicate clearly about what I want to work on. Now, my I.Q. is off the charts, but nonetheless I have no clue what the therapists are talking about. I think I'm clear but no one else does.

The other people in the group talk about their stuff and they always get good feedback. But all I get is, "You're not focused," and "you need to focus." I'm at an utter loss. I suspect this is due to my Asperger's (which they don't believe I have).

Any thoughts?


If these people, non-professionals, think they know better than the trained people who diagnosed you as being on the spectrum, ignore them. They've tainted anything else that might come out of their mouths, including the idea that YOU are not focused.

WHO are the ones who aren't focused?


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League_Girl
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31 Dec 2013, 4:59 pm

I found the first one helpful. It was mainly about passive assertive and aggressive. We did role playing and chips were handed out as money and we would trade them in for prizes. I loved that class. Then I was forced to do another one and it sucked. No chips and rewards and it wasted my time and I always had to miss my favorite TV show Figure it Out because of rush hour. It was every Tuesday was why instead of on Saturday like my other group therapy. Plus we had work sheets too. I liked the first one because of the rewards. I think it depends on the therapist and how they run their classes. If they make it fun, the kid won't feel broken like they need to change so the reward system reinforces their learning attitude and makes them motivated to learn and be there and it won't feel like work.


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JSBACHlover
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01 Jan 2014, 11:22 am

I don't want chips. I want money. Cash is king. I'm taking Franklins and Ulysses S. Grant kind of money. Heck, I'd fix myself so fast I'd get in the record books. Google stock would be nice, too.

Seriously: Pray for me. I might be able to get out of this group therapy so that I can begin to see a therapist who understands Asperger's. My current therapist thinks that everything is Freudian and all about sex. I've never even had sex. I don't care about sex. Ugh. NTs. They're intolerable sometimes.



wozeree
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01 Jan 2014, 4:34 pm

So you are with a therapist you hate and you are also in a group that you hate? Holy cow, that does not sound good or productive.

I don't recall ever reading one of your posts and not being clear on what you were saying, but then maybe I'm just not remembering. Or maybe you just can focus better when you are writing then when you are speaking. Maybe if you jot down points you want to make, say for instance if someone else says something that you want to respond to, jot it down, then stick to what you wrote.

Doesn't codependence mean something like being too nice? You have to go to therapy for that? What next?



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01 Jan 2014, 7:40 pm

JSBACHlover wrote:
My current therapist thinks that everything is Freudian and all about sex.

The next time he feeds you that line, tell him you think he's likely projecting.



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01 Jan 2014, 8:16 pm

JSBACHlover wrote:
I don't want chips. I want money. Cash is king. I'm taking Franklins and Ulysses S. Grant kind of money. Heck, I'd fix myself so fast I'd get in the record books. Google stock would be nice, too.

Seriously: Pray for me. I might be able to get out of this group therapy so that I can begin to see a therapist who understands Asperger's. My current therapist thinks that everything is Freudian and all about sex. I've never even had sex. I don't care about sex. Ugh. NTs. They're intolerable sometimes.



Could you just quit the group? You're an adult so I assume you have a say in this? I couldn't quit mine due to being only 12 and it was my parents that forced me to take it and they would take me there. The second group therapy that is.


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JSBACHlover
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01 Jan 2014, 10:36 pm

League_Girl wrote:
JSBACHlover wrote:
I don't want chips. I want money. Cash is king. I'm taking Franklins and Ulysses S. Grant kind of money. Heck, I'd fix myself so fast I'd get in the record books. Google stock would be nice, too.

Seriously: Pray for me. I might be able to get out of this group therapy so that I can begin to see a therapist who understands Asperger's. My current therapist thinks that everything is Freudian and all about sex. I've never even had sex. I don't care about sex. Ugh. NTs. They're intolerable sometimes.



Could you just quit the group? You're an adult so I assume you have a say in this? I couldn't quit mine due to being only 12 and it was my parents that forced me to take it and they would take me there. The second group therapy that is.


I can't quit yet, because the therapy was suggested by my employer. But I did give my boss an alternate therapy proposal for me, and he seemed to like it. I hope to get formal approval soon. By soon, I mean, by next week.

@Sharkbait -- that's an awesome response.



tall-p
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02 Jan 2014, 1:57 am

JSBACHlover wrote:
Ok, I've gone through this before, but I am looking for some advice from professionals.

I'm in group therapy for what is called "codependence." Every time I do "work" in group, the therapists complain that I lack focus and don't communicate clearly about what I want to work on. Now, my I.Q. is off the charts, but nonetheless I have no clue what the therapists are talking about. I think I'm clear but no one else does.

The other people in the group talk about their stuff and they always get good feedback. But all I get is, "You're not focused," and "you need to focus." I'm at an utter loss. I suspect this is due to my Asperger's (which they don't believe I have).

Any thoughts?

Ask them, "What would I say IF is was focused."


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BobinPgh
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02 Jan 2014, 3:05 am

Sharkbait wrote:
JSBACHlover wrote:
My current therapist thinks that everything is Freudian and all about sex.

The next time he feeds you that line, tell him you think he's likely projecting.


Where is this? I thought therapists didn't believe in Freud anymore. Even when I took psychology classes in the 70s and 80s I never had a psychology teacher teach Freud without turning all red in the face explaining his theories.



JSBACHlover
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02 Jan 2014, 10:02 am

BobinPgh wrote:
Sharkbait wrote:
JSBACHlover wrote:
My current therapist thinks that everything is Freudian and all about sex.

The next time he feeds you that line, tell him you think he's likely projecting.


Where is this? I thought therapists didn't believe in Freud anymore. Even when I took psychology classes in the 70s and 80s I never had a psychology teacher teach Freud without turning all red in the face explaining his theories.


Where is this? Oh, just a little slice of hell on earth. ;)



timf
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02 Jan 2014, 10:47 am

Quote:
Any thoughts?


As a Christian I feel that all psychology is wrong. The basis for this declaration is that there is no psychological theory of human behavior that includes the concept of sin. Any remedies derived from the various theories of psychology will produce effects approaching randomness or no therapy because they do not address one of the most critical aspects of human behavior. Seinfeld came closer when he described what he called random acts of malice.

Group therapy is just a money making opportunity for therapists. Five people at 33% less than a single patient rate is an economic boon for the therapist. Like any other scam, blaming the victim (you need to focus) is a typical diversion.

Co-dependence is supposed to mean that you have an unhealthy relationship similar to a woman that stays with an abusive or alcoholic husband. If your employer sent you to the group, I would be interested to discover what problem he feels is going to be "fixed'.

Your employer may be getting ready to fire you for some reason. He may want to send you to some cheap "therapy" so that he can claim that he tried to "help" you and thus your unemployment would have to come from the state fund instead of being charged to your employers account.

In order to get through the group, you may want to adopt their methods;

Patient, "Doc, what is wrong with me?"
Rogerian psychologist; "What do you think is wrong with you?"

Therapist; "You need to focus more."
You; "Thank you, can you do a role play with me to show me what you mean."

The trick is to "get the monkey off your back" and back on to them.