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lucious
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05 Jan 2014, 11:57 am

let me preface this by saying i do NOT do this. I experienced this today, and it left a very sour taste in my mouth,

I was sitting in shopping centre just relaxing and having some food. There was a group of guys near me, on another table.

Out of nowhere,one of those guys starts pointing at me with his index finger to the others, and he bursts out laughing. The others turn and stare at me. I have no idea why, but this just left me feeling singled out, accused of/lectured of something, and very very self conscious. I couldnt help but wonder if i looked wierd, or there was something off about me. It just made me very uncomfortable. I just walked off--i had no desire for confrontation or to be the object of their attention/possible amusement any longer.


It seems to me, to be unbelievably rude and childish to violently point your index finger at someone in public. It seems like that sort of beahviour will get a bad reaction one day--i definitely took it as some sign of aggression and it made me feel very uncomfortable and bothered. I could easily see mere rudeness escalate into a physical confrontation should you get the wrong person.



Troy_Guther
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05 Jan 2014, 12:04 pm

I think that the act of singling someone out and drawing attention to them is the real problem; pointing is only the mechanism through which this is done. Staring at you or yelling at you would have pretty much the same effect, to varying degrees.



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05 Jan 2014, 12:32 pm

Yes it's rude to point at people. I knew this since I was six when my mother kept telling me to not point at someone because it's rude.


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Ennik
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05 Jan 2014, 12:42 pm

Hello,

NT here.

Yes, where i come from it is definitely rude and considered a breach of manners - in fact everything drawing attention to somebody who doesn't do anything wrong or is not actively trying to draw attention to him-/herself is considered rude and falls under the heading of polite or in this case impolite behaviour.

Like staring (meaning looking at sb for an inappropriate length of time),
making remarks (Mummy , that woman is fat - the woman knows and there's no need for anyone to comment on it) etc.
It's something a parent has to teach (by example and by explaining) their kids and adults are expected to know and apply - ideally that is :wink:

Of course, everybody is different and differently affected by the behaviour of others (some shrug it off and are amused, some become embarassed or angry). My kid on the spectrum used to feel insulted because somebody looked vaguely in their direction and smiled).
And of course there are big cultural differences as well.

Greetings

Ennik



jk1
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05 Jan 2014, 12:45 pm

I can understand how the OP felt. I have had similar experiences. What they did is childish and rude. That's a harassment. That shows what sort of people they are. It's best to have nothing to do with that sort.

As Troy_Guther pointed out, the act of pointing itself is probably not the problem but the fact that they made fun of you and humiliated you is the problem. They (most likely) intended to humiliate you somehow. That is the indication of their aggression/malice.

I have been taught that pointing at someone is always considered rude. Well-mannered people avoid doing it. There have been cases where someone pointing at me actually wasn't offensive at all because his/her intention was rather friendly although it probably looked impolite to some people.



ouroborosUK
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05 Jan 2014, 1:11 pm

It is generally considered rude, but to what extent depends much of the culture.

I used to do it a lot when I was younger, and it caused me some problems. I finally solved that when I made a trip to Japan, where pointing at people is considered extremely rude but it is acceptable to designate them with the open hand (in a gesture a bit similar to a salesman showing a product in a shop). I took the gesture and I have been using it since, even outside Japan it is seen as much more friendly and less offensive than pointing.


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Joe90
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05 Jan 2014, 1:13 pm

I had that happen to me a few years ago. I was in a busy, crowded street with my bike, and I got off the bike and just wheeled it through the town because it was a rush hour time and there was traffic slowing down and people crossing the road, etc. As I walked past a crowded bus stop, two girls stood there and one deliberately pointed right at me and burst out laughing. Her friend looked up at me and didn't laugh, as if she saw me as if to say ''what's so funny about her?'' She was right - there wasn't anything funny about me. I don't display any unusual traits, and even if I did display anything minor, they would be too minor to notice in a crowded town with lots going on. It was a hot, sunny afternoon so I was in a good mood too, therefore wasn't feeling stressed or nervous.

I think pointing right at someone and bursting out laughing for no apparent reason is very rude and unacceptable indeed (unless it's a joke with your friends/family, but that's different). But random strangers doing it at other random strangers in public is so droll. Even if I see somebody who does stand out, I still have no intention of pointing and laughing at them, even if they're funny. If I found them that funny, I just laugh inwardly in disguise so that they wouldn't know. It is none of my business anyway.

I'd thought NTs would know better not to point and laugh at people in public. :?


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aspiemike
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05 Jan 2014, 1:24 pm

Oh yeah. I've been on both sides of the coin.

Pointing at someone and seeing the look of hurt on their face and them walking off does not make me feel like a respectful and kind man. This is not loving behaviour.

On the other hand, I'm being pointed at and laughed at for no reason at all, I would likely assess the situation before reacting. I have to know if there is a situation in which I can be reasonable and if they will keep their egos in check. It's not likely a person will be able to keep their ego in check in such scenarios.


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EzraS
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05 Jan 2014, 1:37 pm

It is rude crude and obnoxious behavior.
But you know one day some kids at school - and these were disabled kids - started pointing and laughing at me.
It turns out that i had a toilet paper tail hanging from my pants after using the rest room, which I have to admit
I would have laughed at on someone too. I was embarrassed but not angry.



Rabbers
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05 Jan 2014, 4:00 pm

Yes that was really rude. But I wouldn't worry as 99% of people walking past would just be wondering why he was being so obnoxious rather than thinking anything about you.



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05 Jan 2014, 5:05 pm

The problem was the laughing, not the pointing.


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CockneyRebel
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05 Jan 2014, 6:18 pm

I've learned that it's rude to point at people when I was in kindergarten.


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05 Jan 2014, 6:45 pm

I read in some books it's rude to point at anything, person or not and I remember being in 3rd grade and my friend told me to not point. I was pointing at a word in the book. I really find it stupid that it's rude to point at objects or random things and at a word in a book but maybe that rule is there because of paranoid people, might think you're pointing at them. :roll: But I always see it as their problem, not mine.


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Last edited by League_Girl on 05 Jan 2014, 8:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ZombieBrideXD
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05 Jan 2014, 8:21 pm

i point out people and my sister will be like "DONT POINT EMILY!" and i dont really understand whats so offensive and rude about it.


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PhillyG
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05 Jan 2014, 8:38 pm

Yeah I think it's the self conscious thoughts of wondering why they where pointing, what could be wrong which make it bad.



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06 Jan 2014, 1:59 am

I know it's considered rude to point, but when it's used simply to indicate someone I don't see the problem.
It is rude to point and laugh at someone, though.


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