Making "scripts" for desired behaviour

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I wonder whether any of you do this. I make scripts to "optimize" my behaviour - probably to deal with the issue of thinking in details instead of seeing the "big picture".

Currently I am using:

SMIT-M^2

This is an abbreviation for: "Serve Me In The Moment, while Moving". Attached to this is MRHH which abbreviates the three categories:

1. M = Money
2. R = Relations
3. HH = House & Health

which are the main categories I should pay attention to. Travelling belongs to number 2 og 3 because it serves the purpose of better health and better relations. Education belongs to number 1.

I could deal without this script, but I would likely forget more things.

Mine would be SADTAA (Say any damn thing at all). My problem is not knowing what to say at all. Sometimes I'll just sit and dream up a likely scenario of meeting up with an old friend and think up some things I could talk about that would keep a conversation going. I still struggle with the latter though.

Then, when I can successfully say any damn thing at all I need to modify this by trying to say less embarrassing impulsive and usually socially inappropriate things.

I initiate HYT (hold your tongue) but that makes me come back to SADTAA when I once again find myself unable to say much at all.

There's just no balance in between the two.

I spent my childhood trying to "optimize" my behavior. Can you help me better understand what you do to deal with the issue of thinking in details instead of "seeing the big picture"? I know you gave examples of a script but how does thinking in details fit into that?

I am always on the lookout for ways to make life work better for me.

For me I had it drilled into me mainly by teachers to summarize my sentences so I just know to do it naturally. I'm unhappy about it. It feels like I'm less intelligent because I don't drone on.

So basically, take a 300 worded paragraph and sum it all up into 3 sentences. I can do that so easily now. You don't even have to become a bigger picture thinker and can still see details.

^ this way of organizing is just right; I copied it down, thanks.

i wish I could follow rules better.

I thought that scripts were:
"Hello, how are you?"
"Yes, it's going to be cold today?"
"So how are things going here?"

As for things like paying pills and executive function, heck, I don't know, I just finally get around to doing them. But are these really "scripts"?

Keep in mind that I am "very high functioning" AS, so I might be way off the mark here with some of you. But this thread is confusing me....

I have a pretty long and detailed list of instructions.
One is for personal care: health, grooming dressing.
Another is procedures for school.
Another is how to act around others.
Another is to remind me of what not to do.
I wonder if i can compact them into acronyms?

You're welcome ... I call it the "Smit-M-Model"

What NTs do to accomplish being independent/living a normal life is to think in people. This comes natural to them, they can only think in people.

People with AS do not think in people. They think in objects/territory, i.e. details.

The reason for this is that NTs are group-hunters, so they need to focus on their group, i.e. on people. Oppositely AS people are solo-hunters, so they need to focus on their hunting territory, not people. That is the logic behind the different thinking patterns.

The issue is that it gets very difficult to navigate in this social society when you do not focus on people (i.e. focusing on people = seeing the "big picture"). You cannot just do things at a time that fits you the best, you have to adapt to the "clock" of society, so to speak. You have to follow that rhythm. That is actually a social adaption. You depend on society.

Since people with AS are solo hunters this is not a very natural thing for us to do. So in order to compensate for that I make "scripts" for behavior that fits the rhythm of society even when I do not think in people to the extent NTs do. My natural instinct is to be awake at night and sleep in the daytime (solo hunters usually do great at night time since they have the possibility of hiding better), but this is something I have to not do, because society is opposite.

So I in fact "fake" seeing the big picture by making the right scripts. But those scripts are actually detail-oriented, so they fit nicely to my thinking pattern.



Thinking in details has much to do with finding motivation from the inside, while seeing the big picture has to do with finding motivation from the outside (i.e. from other people). Solo hunters (including AS people) need to be able to find motivation from the inside because their natural instinct is to hunt solo, thus they must not depend on motivation from other people to the extent NT people do.

Qawer, possibly the most famous example of using acronyms to guide behaviour is WWJD (What would Jesus do?).

People wear it on bracelets. Perhaps you could make a bracelet with SMIT-M^2 on it.

I agree. I am not sure I would call these things scripts exactly. They seem more like mnemonics to me. But perhaps I am being too pedantic.

The secret to NT-dialoge is not to be two independent individuals communicating (the way we tend to do). The secret is to be "one unit", i.e. one big cooperating unit, with a social hierarchy. But this is exactly the thing we are not good at because we are solo-hunters, and not group-hunters, so we do not see the big picture (i.e. people are one big unit trying to survive), we instead see the details (i.e. people are individuals each trying to survive in their own way). This does not mean we do not care for other people. It just means we "judge" people on behavior instead of performance (i.e. if he treats me well, I treat him well, instead of am I higher or lower ranking than him).

Last edited by qawer on 05 Jan 2014, 5:09 am, edited 3 times in total.

LoL, I should consider that




Oh yeah, I just called it "script" in need of a better word. My English vocabulary is unfortunately in no way extensive. mnemonic is a great word for it.

This is only helpful if you tend to not think in social terms. If you do this thread would seem confusing, because in that case these things would seem completely obvious.

I am able to think socially by conscious effort (and then all this seems trivial), but thinking in details is what is natural to me, so this is a good tool to use.

Very well explained. In the movie Titanic (classic version), there's a group going astray, a man meets them and demonstrates the technical reasons why his way is the only one to the bottom (now top) of the boat, but because people and unity around a leader, however mistaken, is the most important to NTs, the group continues on their way and they all die. I don't think I could ever sacrifice (or even limit) my life for "the group", especially knowing they're all following a leader who is leading me to death / to less than I can achieve in life with my potential). And this is what keeps me cut off from society.

Eg: I never abode to the family's hierarchy, so they gave me the usual position given to those who don't secure for themselves some, the highest possible, position in the hierarchy - the the black sheep, the doormat, the caregiver to the children and the old and the sick (what everyone else doesn't want to do), the scapegoat, the omega dog. They were honestly convinced, by what they know about society, that I'd be ok with that role rather than no role at all. They were SHOCKED when I refused the role and demanded respect. They didn't know how to relate to me. They couldn't respect me because I hadn't claimed any position in the family hierarchy. So there's no relationship at all with anyone in my family. Same in any other group such as workplace, hobbies, volunteering.

I don't think I can change, I think it's too neurologically ingrained in me to be more myself oriented than other oriented. I can learn what efforts to make to fool people I desperately need for my survival such as in the workplace, but only for some time. I believe we give ourselves away at every step of the way, it's like trying to conceal your eye color.

I ad-lib.