I really need an advice/opinion on this, please.

Post Reply New Topic

Hi everyone, I've been browsing this forum for a while but never got to register until now. I've got a question for you guys and I really need your opinion on this before I take it to my psychiatrist.

Long story short: at the age of 17, after isolating myself from everyone due to not being able to be around people anymore, I spent 5 years in my room alone and I almost never went out because I was simply too anxious about everything in the outside world and I was paranoid that everyone is gossiping and plotting against me, so my parents decided to send me to a psychiatrist when they finally noticed that something might be wrong.

Since then I changed 2 psychiatrists as they admitted that they can't help me so I am currently at the 3rd one who diagnosed similar disorders as the previous ones: OCD with psychosis and delusions, social phobia/anxiety, I think he also mentioned bipolar disorder as well as depression with suicidal thoughts ( I was put in psychiatric hospital for several days because of self injuring).

I am currently on antipsychotics, anxiolytics and antidepressants (Azolar, Rivotril and Fevarin) and none of them are helping and I'm afraid that there might be something that the psychiatrist is missing to diagnose as all of the problems persist and it even gets worse constantly.

I talked to a psychologist a lot as well and she gave me some professional tests as she suspects that I might be on the autism spectrum and she told me that the tests indicate that I very well might be, but she is still not sure. I also took an online test and I don't know if it's accurate, but here's the result:

Thank you for filling out this questionnaire.

Your Aspie score: 155 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 41 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie

Now the point of this post is that I need an advice of people who really have autism and I need their experience with the diagnosis as well as the symptoms before the next appointment with my psychiatrist, as I don't want to ask him if he maybe missed some diagnosis without being at least a little bit assured that it might be the case.

Any help would be very much appreciated.

You were diagnosed with "psychosis and delusions". What kind of delusion do you have ?

I think that the psychiatrist diagnosed it when I told him that I often have a feeling that someone who hands me some food has put something in it, same goes with drinks, I almost never take a drink or food when offered. Then there's a feeling that people want to harm me in various ways, and I constantly feel watched and keep checking for hidden cameras in my house. There are also intrusive thoughts that I can't get rid of while I understand that they're irrational, for example I can spend days being convinced that my friends are plotting behind my back, or talking bad things about me and during that period I can hardly focus on anything else other than that.

As with all such questions as to whether or not you are an aspie, the only response any of us can give is that we don't know. A diagnosis of AS can only be given by a qualified practitioner after one or more likely several face-to-face interviews. This qualification is a secondary qualification, and most psychologists don't have it.

If you have AS, and the online tests are only indicative, it's pretty clear that there are other issues, some of which may or may not have been caused by social isolation common among aspies.

The best any of us here can be is supportive. The fact is that we don't know. The characteristics that you describe are not those of AS, but could also be found in an aspie who has been badly isolated - or indeed someone not an aspie who has been similarly isolated.

I strongly recommend you keep up contact with mental health services.

I can't give you advice about what you have, but it usually works better to avoid telling people they are wrong. Agreeing with the part that is accurate and expressing that you have other concerns you want help with is probably a more effective strategy. But some doctors are open to what is said no matter how it's put. It might also help to give him the reason it's important. Like if you tell him that it's almost impossible and always has been to have a satisfying conversation which is contributing to your isolation and you need help learning conversations as an example.

It appears that you might be experiencing "ideas of reference" ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ideas_of_r ... _reference )

You stated that you know the thoughts are irrational.

Quoted: "'Ideas of reference must be distinguished from delusions of reference, which may be similar in content but are held with greater conviction'. With the former, but not the latter, the person holding them may have 'the feeling that strangers are talking about him/her, but if challenged, acknowledges that the people may be talking about something else'."

I experienced this condition about ten years ago. My "ideas of reference" were the result of a long, long mental deterioration, and partly I believe because of autistic theory of mind of not being able to understand the thoughts of others http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_mind . My mind assigned ideas to other people - conspiratory ideas that the people were plotting against me.

My ideas were instrusive and debilitating. It was hard to go to work when I felt everyone was plotting to do things against me.

You need to tell get help soon, don't let your ideas become actual delusions where you lost an understanding of what is real and is not.

If he is a decent doctor he will not react negatively if you say something along the line of:
"I would like to look into autism. I feel this might be important."
Quite the opposite actually.

Or you say:
"I would like to rule out autism as a cause."

If he reacts negatively without giving you good reasons he is bad at what he does.

Sounds like schizophrenia.
Did you ever experience this much before 17? Schizophrenia develops most of the time in young adulthood, and is known to get worse over time.
Autism must be present from a young age. It's also not standard for autism to be getting noticeably worse constantly like you describe.
Antipsychotics should help for this I believe (that's what's given to schizophrenics, right?), but perhaps you're not on the right one or not high enough on it for it to be helping you. Or maybe you're not schizophrenic....but you really, really sound like you are.

It's a long-shot, but does celiac disease run in your family at all? Removing gluten from your diet could possibly help your symptoms, there are studies relating schizophrenia to gluten.

It's possible to be schizophrenic and be an Aspie. You also have to make a differential diagnosis between Schizoid Personality Disorder and AS. I can see how it would be possible for AS to mask SPD.

Remember the drugs work for some people and not others. It's also possible to keep trying different drugs until you get to a point where you feel better anyway, coincident with being on a drug, and decide that drug works (and then you feel worse later and you and the doctor decide the drug "stopped working". Some of the drugs work for some people, but there is evidence their efficacy is overstated.

I don't think anyone here is capable of doing much besides equivocate and support.

My advice remains working with the experts on this one, but understand the drugs may be helpful, but are not a cure.

Thanks for all the answers and support!

LoveNotHate: I've never seen that article before, interesting read and is similar to what I'm experiencing. As it said in the quote, I do as well acknowledge that it's rather unlikely that they're all talking about me all the time, the psychiatrist asked me that question openly and I did admit that it's unlikely just as I say it to myself a thousand times yet the constant feeling and thoughts about it still go on.

Some of you agreed that I should bring the autism up in the conversation, I think I'll do it and I hope he won't react negatively or think that I'm trying to diagnose myself.

As for the few that mentioned schizophrenia, I'm not sure what to think about that. At my second meeting with the psychiatrist he asked me some questions like if I believe to possess some special powers and such like he was testing me to see if I'm still connected to reality which indicates to me that he also might suspect of schizophrenia but most of my answers were negative related to that, yet I do agree that I show some signs nonetheless so maybe he wasn't sure after all.
cavernio : I have experienced some symptoms before 17 but not much before that, maybe a year or so but it was still tolerable and then all of the sudden at 17 it was all so unbearable that I had to isolate myself from society.