My mom doesn't seem to respect me

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My mom is a very controlling person. Whenever I tell my mother that I don't appreciate what she's doing to me, or when she is being her manipulative, controlling-self, she shuts me out as if it is ok for her to speak, and her to speak only. I am 19 years old and mature enough to tell her to back off very nicely, but she doesn't seem to care. Could this be because she doesn't seem to care about me, or because of the asperger's? She, today for example talked to my friend for too long and acted as though I wasn't there as if my friend was hers. I told her after my friend left, "Hey, I don't appreciate the idea of you talking to my friend hours on end when she's my friend. Can you please back off and respect me?" And she won't listen. I don't know what to do anymore and I don't like it. I have tried communicating as best I can. It is as if whatever I say is never good enough for her. She doesn't do this to my sister's friend and just mine. I don't like the over-protectiveness and it needs to stop.

my friends enjoyed talking to my mom, even calling her "mom." it never bothered me.

Mothers often tend to take liberties with their kids that may not be right. (For example, some mothers will keep walking in on their sons when they're in the bathroom with the door closed, and the kid is in his late teens.)

Then, there are those that do it because they don't regard their offspring as a real human being. It doesn't even have to involve any kind of impediment like autism. They knew you when you were sort of a live stuffed animal. That attitude is embedded and mothers often are not known for logic where their kids are concerned.

Add to that an actual impediment and it can make things even worse.

Welcome to the world of a grown/nearly-grown offspring dealing with a mother. It can be a circus, a nightmare, and a hundred other things both between and beyond.

You have my sympathies. I'm afraid I have no suggestions, tho', because intelligent conversation on the subject (like you tried) can fail to work.

These are mothers we're talking about.

If you have a therapist, you might want to bring this up. There is such a thing as family counseling.

Just hope the counselor isn't a mother.

After moving away the first time, my mother loosened her grip considerably. She knew I could become independent, and no longer under-estimated my ability to survive without her. True I rebound several times back home, but I've been out of home for 3 years now and now she treats me like a grown-up. We still have a healthy happy relationship, its just more balanced.