A question on Facial Expressions

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When engaged in conversation, do NTs think, “what message am I trying to convey”, and alter their facial expressions accordingly?

Or, does their facial expression simply match the emotion they are experiencing at the moment?

Or, something else?

Also, are NTs aware of the facial expression they are making (at the moment)? And when there are inconsistencies between what they say and the facial expression they are making?

Note: I assume that the facial expression matches the emotions that a person is experiencing. And, that it is hard to control. Then again, it’s not something I think about often. I only think about the facial expression I make when my wife asks me (i.e., “why do you have a scowl on your face”).

IMO I don't think it's a black or white answer, where NTs may be deliberately changing their facial expressions based on desired message - maybe on occasion or to some degree, but I believe the greater cause of their expression is just unconscious spontaneity. It's a programmed response to stimuli. That's why so many body language experts tell you to trust what nonverbal messages you get over the verbal, simply because it's easy for people to tell others what they want to hear, but much more difficult to convey the congruent body language.

Unless, of course, you're dealing with a psychopath -then all bets are off

most people don't want you to know what they are actually thinking, and are proficient at even fooling themselves. when you see a facial expression, you mostly see what they want you to see. sometimes a lie is easy to see. like when someone says yes, and is shaking the head no. people are usually more honest when they are off guard so to speak.

Considering that I don't change my facial expression all that much, I really don't know.

I experience and show emotion in the same way as NTs (as far as I know) so here is my semi-educated guess...

Most of the time, facial (and nonverbal) expressions come naturally to NTs and coincide with the emotions they are genuinely feeling. However, at times, they may want to conceal feelings and so they may consciously use different nonverbal expressions to hide their true feelings about something. They do not do this out of malice or negative feelings towards the person, but do this to avoid making social faux pas and to preserve positive connections between others.

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Some examples:

Bob is talking to Jim about his exciting and prestigious new job. Jim is unemployed and is struggling with money. Jim smiles, widens his eyes, has an open posture and tells Bob that he's really happy for him in an enthusiastic voice.

Jane is really interested in dinosaurs. She is talking at length about dinosaurs while her conversation partner, Amy, listens. However, Amy values Jane as a friend, and even though she is not interested in dinosaurs at all, she cares about Jane quite a lot and values her friendship. So, she smiles, nods, faces Jane with an open posture, and asks questions about dinosaurs to Jane in an interested-sounding voice.

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NTs don't seem to be aware of their facial expressions unless they are trying to consciously adjust them when they have to hide their true feelings. However, NTs are not perfect at adjusting their facial/nonverbal expressions, as I've learned from my social psychology class.

Sometimes they have something called "nonverbal leakage" where their nonverbal language gives off their true feelings but their words say otherwise. So, for example, Jim's facial expression may show tension while Jim talks about his new job, or Jane might show tension in her face while Jane talks about dinosaurs.

People often misread me because of my facial expressions. I think it's because my facial expressions don't fit the NT model - for example, when I'm thinking deeply I get this serious Spock face thing going on. To this day my wife will ask me sometimes "are you mad / upset / angry?" when I'm deep in thought.

So, I reply "no, I'm thinking" which she accepts because she knows me. Sometime she follows up with "that's fine - but you do look angry".

She will sometimes point out situations in which I've been talking to someone but my facial expressions have been misread - obviously she can see the other person's reaction thru their body language, etc while I cannot.

I hate those facial recognition tests which focus on the eyes. I always do well on them because they are exaggerated, and I'm not an idiot when it comes to a multiple choice test. But in the real world, that test doesn't apply to anyone I know. Faces are too subtle to read. I can't read my boss's face and I can't read my coworkers' faces.

Oh, as for my own face, I used to come off all wrong because my face was my stimming place. I made weird faces all the time. So through CBT, I learned to become expressionless most of the time. Now my stimming takes place inside my head.

Hallo,

NT here.

As a rule I don't give a thought about my facial expression or my body language. Both just happen.

Of course, I can influence both if necessary but only for a short while, it's stressfull, artificial and takes my attention awy from other things (for example from what I say).

Reasons for doing so:
when I have my foto taken (otherwise I look drunk)
when I have to act e. g. as part of a school play or walking to and from a gymnastics performance.
when I'm dealing with a somehow disabled (I hope this is the right word?) - in the widest sense of the word - person.
Examples:
I have to take care of my facial expression for my son on the spectrum - I have to exaggerate the positive and tone down the negative.
I have an extremely shy workmate - I consciously tone down everything I say positive or negative so as to not cause her stress.

My 0,02 €

Happy and stressfree 2014

Ennik

Hello Rocket1123,

that's a complaint my partner has as well. perhaps this has somethting to do with male / female usage and purpose of speech (looking at the developement of language use through time).

But as for trusting facial expression and body language - I doubt that ordinary run of the mill people like myself in their ordinary lives bother to think about this (outside of puberty, that is). After all, it really takes an effort, like lying does and is therefore reserved for extreme situations.

Though I do try to keep in mind that I have to adapt it for my son. If I don't grin like a pleased Dentrassi, he automtically assumes that I'm angry or furious and if the worse comes to the worst goes off into a panik.

There are of course cultural differences - friends of mine moved to the US and had to learn that, for example, the feelings of gratitude for a present were the same, but the appropriate way of expressing them was totally different. My friends had to learn to exaggerate their verbal and facial expressions to get the meaning across. When they are on a visit, they have to tone it down again so as not to seem 'fake'.

Greetings

Ennik

would that make aspies amazing poker players? since our faces never match up correctly?