Hate

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Why do people hate other people?

Unless someone has done something to deliberately hurt me (such a bully me) I don't really hate anyone. If it is someone I am not compatible with or whose company I don't enjoy I pretty much just feel neutral really. I certain don't hate someone just because their personality is not to my tastes.

I also don't hate people just because they have different interests, they are annoying or they snap at me because they just had a bad day. Nor do I hate someone who hurts me accidentally (why would I, they didn't mean it).

I only hate people who intentionally hurt me...like bullies. Bullies mean it and I find them morally repugnant.

I may complain about things I don't like such as having to make chitty chat about subjects I don't like and I may feel frustrated when it comes to society expecting me to keep up with its social demands but I don't hate people who want do enjoy social chitty chat and socialise incessantly just because they want to do them. I do dislike it when they push me and bully me though in order to try and force me to like it too.

So why hate people just because you don't like them or you find them annoying?

I can't really say that I hate anyone who is in my life.

If I was to feel such a strong emotion such as hate, I think it would be too distressing for me.

A lot of people say, "Oh, I HATE that guy," or something to that effect, but it's usually an exaggeration, just like every person who says, "I wanted to KILL him" isn't really planning someones murder. The word 'hate' is thrown about pretty easily by NT's because they're usually speaking to other NT's who know they don't always mean things literally. If it helps, whenever someone says they 'hate' someone or something, replace it with 'dislike' in your head for a more accurate meaning, then forgive the speaker for improper syntax.

I usually reserve hate for things & institutions.
I hate bitter cold, windy days. I hate burning, oppressive direct summer sunlight.
I hate monsanto, I hate pharmaceutical corporations.
I hate bureaucracy.

On an individual level I only hate a few people. Hate is a very strong and particular feeling that is not alike dislike at all, even though there are plenty of nuances within both terms, just like there is within like. The few I do hate are all for personal reasons.


There are many people I dislike, and I have said things like "I hate that guy!" lots of times. It's just what you say. In most cases it doesn't mean hate, it means dislike. But when you blurt out it out, you're not gonna say "I dislike that guy!". I wouldn't. That's just not how you convey emotions in speech.
I would never take an "I hate X" statement literally. I would know it to mean "I dislike X!" or "I'm so ticked off at X!"
Unless there were special circumstances that lead to actual hatred, but then it's usually said in a very different way, if at all.

Jealousy is a really common reason. The word "hate" is often used when "resentment" would be accurate.

A long time ago I read that there are only two emotions: Love and fear.

At first it didn't make sense to me, but after observing people and myself for a while, I realized it's true -- negative emotions really seem to come from fear. Bullies are fearful that they are weak or unimportant, so they seek control over others. Couples fight over things that make one or the other (or both) fear they are insignificant or unworthy of love. Wars are fought over the fear of loss of control or power.

So my theory on haters is this: Haters are uncomfortable with those who are different (on an individual level or toward a group as with racism) because it threatens their sense of identity. If "others" are just as acceptable as the hater, that undermines the hater's sense of their own place in the world. So a hater's thought "I don't like that guy because he's not like me" really is "That guy makes me uncomfortable because I can't relate to him, and therefore I'm going to label him as 'worse' than me. Because if I'm not better, what good am I?"

I only hate someone if they piss me off that bad and are that bad of a person or have hurt me that bad. Normally I just wish death and harm on that person and don't even care what happens to them. That is how I know I hate someone if that is how I feel about them.

There are very few people who I hate for various reasons. But that's only a handful of people. I like most people, and some people I don't like that much but don't hate. Loving, liking and hating has many grey areas too, it's not just black or white with me. If a colleague of mine doesn't speak to me much or ignores me when I try to smile to them, that doesn't make me hate them, just makes me not like them as much as I like the colleagues that are more friendly to me. I find that if I carry on liking everybody even if they don't bother to speak to me, I get more resentful about it. But if I just think to myself ''oh well, if they don't want to speak to me, then I won't make the effort any more to speak to them'', and then I don't get so upset. But if I start to hate them, then that doesn't do a lot of good either. If a colleague did really nasty things to me (which, touch wood, nobody has at my work), then I would hate them for that reason, but otherwise, I try not to hate people unless they are nasty to me for no reason or are just jerks all the time.

I basically hate two people, and I think one of them is dead and I haven't interacted with the other since the 1990s.