'Abnormal' facial expression whilst walking around?

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Gizalba
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05 Jan 2014, 8:24 am

Note: Trying to figure out whether I have aspergers so apologies if any questions I post on here regarding behaviours in my life are actually irrelevant to AS.

Basically, I have read that those with autism can sometimes have odd facial expressions, when talking to someone, e.g. could be mistaken for not listening properly if they don't have a 'normal' 'listening face' when they are actually listening.

I wondered if these odd and maybe sometimes 'robotic' expressions can extend to when you are not talking, and merely walking around say shops and down the street?

I'm not sure how a 'normal' walking expression is meant to look lol, as it's not like people often walk along with a big smile on their face or anything - that I expect would look a bit creepy. I had always thought I had a normal 'neutral' expression whilst walking. However over the past few years, around 4 different random strangers on different occasions have felt the need to stop me in the street or on the train or something and comment on how depressed I look, tell me to 'cheer up!' and one even started singing the song 'smile' to me in the street. This has made me very paranoid about how my face looks in public and now I find myself constantly consciously trying to arrange my face into a neutral expression. However since I already thought I naturally did have a neutral expression, then I find it hard to push my expression in a happier direction from the supposedly sad look, without smiling weirdly.

Does anyone here have problems with this?



NEtikiman
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05 Jan 2014, 8:38 am

I get this a lot my my face is in a general resting position... My wife always used to think I was sad or thinking about something depressing when I was just sitting around.

When I'm walking around, I find that I'm always trying to look at everything and everyone and take it all in. People tend to think I'm lost or assume that they know them because I'm looking at them.


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Marcia
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05 Jan 2014, 8:57 am

Gizalba wrote:
Note: Trying to figure out whether I have aspergers so apologies if any questions I post on here regarding behaviours in my life are actually irrelevant to AS.

Basically, I have read that those with autism can sometimes have odd facial expressions, when talking to someone, e.g. could be mistaken for not listening properly if they don't have a 'normal' 'listening face' when they are actually listening.

I wondered if these odd and maybe sometimes 'robotic' expressions can extend to when you are not talking, and merely walking around say shops and down the street?

I'm not sure how a 'normal' walking expression is meant to look lol, as it's not like people often walk along with a big smile on their face or anything - that I expect would look a bit creepy. I had always thought I had a normal 'neutral' expression whilst walking. However over the past few years, around 4 different random strangers on different occasions have felt the need to stop me in the street or on the train or something and comment on how depressed I look, tell me to 'cheer up!' and one even started singing the song 'smile' to me in the street. This has made me very paranoid about how my face looks in public and now I find myself constantly consciously trying to arrange my face into a neutral expression. However since I already thought I naturally did have a neutral expression, then I find it hard to push my expression in a happier direction from the supposedly sad look, without smiling weirdly.

Does anyone here have problems with this?


I'm guessing, based on my own experiences, that you're a reasonably young woman, and it was older men who told you to smile?

That used to happen to me, a lot. It has nothing to do with neurology, certainly not mine, and it instead about people, usually men, not understanding and/or respecting the personal boundaries of others, usually women.



Gizalba
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05 Jan 2014, 11:06 am

NEtikiman - I am glad I am not the only one with a tendency to look depressed as my default face! And it is interesting to hear what other people do with their face when walking around haha. I think I am the opposite regarding where I look when out in public as I tend to avoid looking at anyone in the face in case they give me eye contact - which is why I found it odd that some stranger had looked directly at my face and concluded that I looked sad, as I don't generally observe people's faces enough in public to conclude something like that. I do wonder whether there is a 'norm' regarding this - whether to look really normal there is a certain about of looking or not looking that needs to be done, and also whether 'normal' really matters.

Marcia - Thankyou for your insight there; one female friend had also pointed it out my 'sad face' when she saw me out and about, however yes when the comment has been from a random stranger, it has always been older men, now I think about it. I am a 'young women' so you're probably right regarding some men not knowing or respecting where boundaries are or that it might feel a bit intimidating to the woman. I suppose it is better than cat calling etc that I have seen other women get.



rachel_519
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05 Jan 2014, 11:32 am

Gizalba wrote:
I had always thought I had a normal 'neutral' expression whilst walking. However over the past few years, around 4 different random strangers on different occasions have felt the need to stop me in the street or on the train or something and comment on how depressed I look, tell me to 'cheer up!' and one even started singing the song 'smile' to me in the street.

People like that are so annoying. Telling a random stranger to smile? For all they knew, you could have just had a family member die or something, and here they are telling you to "cheer up!" :?

The best "neutral" face I have found is smiling just a little bit, without showing your teeth. Also, I think raising your eyebrows just a tiny bit helps, too (but not too much, that would make it look like you are asking a question).

But really, I wouldn't put that much effort into changing your expression when you are just walking around or riding the train. Just ignore the random people who feel the need to comment on your facial expressions.


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loner1984
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05 Jan 2014, 11:59 am

I often get told i have a angry expression..

I guess its just naturally how i made sure people wouldn walk up to me and randomly start talking.

I often get told i have a robotic walking however, which i have tried to change. Apparently you are supposed to walk more loosely or so im told, then i look like im drunk.



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05 Jan 2014, 4:02 pm

I've had that happen to me many times. Though they feel normal to me, my typical facial expressions like smiling are almost imperceptible to others unless I'm trying to exaggerate them. If I'm at work and someone points out that I should look happier, I tell them "I'm at work", and that usually does the trick.



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05 Jan 2014, 4:27 pm

I don't really know what a ''normal'' facial expression is actually meant to be - so long as you're not walking around with your tongue sticking out at people or something. A lot of people squint if the sun is too bright and they don't have sunglasses, sort of like a frown. Others walk around deep in thought, like if they got to go to a job interview or something and are feeling nervous. We're humans - we're entitled to have emotion.

I always thought that I walked really funny and that there was a certain way people have to walk, but recently I've been observing how people walk and it surprised me. I've noticed some people walking a bit unsteadily depending on what shoes they wear. This morning I was walking behind a girl who was walking like a duck in scruffy flat trainer-type shoes. Then I got caught behind another young person who was kind of scuffing along. And it just doesn't seem unusual. So now I'm not going to be too self-conscious of the way I walk any more, as well as the facial expressions on my face.

Every human has about a thousand things going on their lives (not literally but you know what I mean), and so we're all going to be unique, as long as it isn't extreme enough to stand out and encourage ridicule, which I don't do.


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05 Jan 2014, 4:49 pm

Yes, that's common. It's more of a blank expression than neutral. Some describe girls faces as being like porcelain dolls. Also, sometimes people have exaggerated facial expressions ie really BIG grins. Other times people have a bit of a frown/scowl when they're just thinking or wondering something and don't intend to give off a negative facial expression.


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ghost1
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06 Jan 2014, 3:21 pm

I tend to get that all the time when I am walking down the street or in a shopping centre or something... some people just walk past and they are usually sort of half smiling... then when they look at me they give me a dirty look as if I have done something or walk past and make a nasty comment so I try and make my face look the same as other people by looking at them... but it makes me look even worse... I got so sick of the comments that at one point I was going to have plastic surgery lol... :x



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07 Jan 2014, 10:46 am

I've been accused of looking angry, sad, or annoyed too... Apparently it's called "Bitchy Resting Face. " :)



arielhawksquill
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07 Jan 2014, 11:22 am

gretchyn wrote:
I've been accused of looking angry, sad, or annoyed too... Apparently it's called "Bitchy Resting Face. " :)


This thread made me think of "Bitchy Resting Face", too! Here's the amusing little video about it that went around last year: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/3 ... 86139.html



eggheadjr
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07 Jan 2014, 1:37 pm

When I'm thinking intently people have asked me if I'm angry. Guess it's just my thinking face - seems to throw people off though.


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12 Jan 2014, 9:51 am

arielhawksquill wrote:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/30/bitchy-resting-face-funny-or-die_n_3186139.html
Smiley as I am, my default face is a scowl (deep crease between my eyebrows I have always had). People have always asked me "what's wrong?" or catcalled "smile!" to me as I'm walking down the street - to which they get the REAL frowny face and look of disgust. :evil: And now that I'm over 40, the crease between my eyebrows is turning into a genuine wrinkle! Hee-hee, maybe a shot between the eyes of Botox would cure this problem?


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14 Jan 2014, 12:50 pm

Yes, this has been pointed out to me many times. In fact, yesterday, a construction worker walking by asked me if I was an English soldier (I think he meant a Beefeater). I was like wait, what? But, it's kind of funny actually. I guess I was standing up as if I was a guard (waiting for my husband to pick me up for lunch). :D



Gizalba
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17 Jan 2014, 10:27 am

These replies have made me feel better, 'bitchy resting face' is funny :P


rachel_519 - That is a good point; it is rather insensitive and thoughtless for a randomer to say 'smile' to me or anyone else with a 'sad' face, when for all they know the face may be genuinely sad for a very good reason.