Compassion for people who make social blunders

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Does your understanding of autism help you to be more patient with people that you might otherwise find annoying?

My nephew is 6, and frequently exhibits the following 'rude' behaviors:
• incessantly complaining that his food is either too hot or too cold, and therefore inedible
• scolding adults for moving his toys out of the way, when he's not playing with them
• info-dumping nonstop about his favorite cartoons, and driving everyone nuts with his sound effects
• leaving the toilet unflushed because he's afraid of the noise

He definitely shows some autistic traits (but not necessarily all) – and my own autism diagnosis has helped my family to be patient with him, and understand that he really might have legitimate sensory issues, and trouble adjusting to things being moved, and that he's not just being difficult.

I've also developed more compassion for people with a variety of emotional issues and personality disorders, because I realize their disorder is causing them to behave in a way that is rude or hurtful. Anyway if other people have similar experiences I'd love to hear about them!

Well, my social experiences should not be taken as particularly extensive, but I think I've always had more acceptance for other people who are odd than do most NTs (there are exceptions).

In fact, I increasingly prefer to hang out with other oddballs, partly because they are better at understanding me.

That said, I don't have much of a social life, to put it mildly.

Niall, I feel the same way, and have always felt compassion for people who are odd. But I think what's new for me is having compassion for rudeness – when it goes beyond 'awkward', and enters 'offensive' or 'hurtful' territory. I'm learning to forgive people for their blunders – for example seeing the good in my nephew, and not just deciding he's an impossible little brat!

Yes. I definitely have more compassion and patience and understanding for others like that.

Why is telling people that your food is too hot or too cold rude? Can you not just change the temperature of the food to something more palatable for him?

Heh, I don't know... When I was a kid, the rule was you eat what's served to you, and don't complain. But literally every single meal, he complains 2 or 3 times that it's either too hot, or has grown too cold, and has to be reheated.

If I had complained about that as a kid, I would have been sent to my room without dinner until I could learn proper manners, and to appreciate that someone was feeding me at all. But we're being much more patient with my nephew, because we understand about sensory issues now, and that he might have a legitimate reason for being so fanatical about the temperature of his food!