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beneficii
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22 Jan 2014, 8:29 pm

When I went to the break room to get a soda, this dude with a big beard started talking to me. I was annoyed by this. Not nervous, but annoyed. I had in mind what I wanted to do (get the soda and head back to my desk) and this man disrupted it by trying to engage me in conversation. I knew I had to come across as polite, but I wanted ot end the conversation ASAP so I could get back to my desk. Mission accomplished.

A coworker engaged me in conversation a little bit, which was OK, but then I started thinking about something I wanted to read, and started becoming annoyed when she kept trying to talk to me. I just went "uh huh uh huh" to shut down the conversation and get back to my thing.

It seems that a lot of my social avoidance comes from having a certain way I like to do things and not wanting to have people disrupting that.

EDIT: For clarification, I have no problem discussing work-related stuff; what I hate are these open-ended conversations that have nothing to do with business that may just go on and on.


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22 Jan 2014, 9:18 pm

yup, being inflexible contributes to social avoidance.


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Marky9
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22 Jan 2014, 10:50 pm

I can relate.



LupaLuna
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23 Jan 2014, 1:06 am

Those distraction/interruptions are breaking your minds natural rhythm and can lead to frustration.



Rocket123
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23 Jan 2014, 2:29 am

beneficii wrote:
I just went "uh huh uh huh" to shut down the conversation and get back to my thing.


If I remember correctly (from a work class I took many years ago), saying "uh huh" is considered part of "active listening".

According to http://www.basic-counseling-skills.com/ ... ening.html, you can "encourage the speaker to continue with short, gentle comments like 'uh-huh'."

The only way I know how to end a conversation at work quickly, is to say something like, "excuse me, I would love to talk, but I have a meeting".



bumble
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23 Jan 2014, 2:47 am

I relate



micfranklin
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23 Jan 2014, 9:53 am

These types of side conversations are okay for me if they're about football or shows I watch or movies or video games i.e. things I'm interested in. If not, then I try to get out of it as politely as possible without trying to cause problems.



Ashariel
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23 Jan 2014, 10:09 am

I feel the same way. Even at home with my family, often I JUST want to go to the kitchen and get a glass of water (and then go back to my room to obsess over my special interest!) But if I run into someone, they'll want to talk, and even though I love them and enjoy talking sometimes, I really don't want to at that exact moment.



Adamantium
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23 Jan 2014, 10:24 am

Rocket123 wrote:
beneficii wrote:
I just went "uh huh uh huh" to shut down the conversation and get back to my thing.


If I remember correctly (from a work class I took many years ago), saying "uh huh" is considered part of "active listening".

According to http://www.basic-counseling-skills.com/ ... ening.html, you can "encourage the speaker to continue with short, gentle comments like 'uh-huh'."

The only way I know how to end a conversation at work quickly, is to say something like, "excuse me, I would love to talk, but I have a meeting".


The problem is that dealing with interpreting random conversations takes too much processing power and derails your train of thought.
I try to keep it a little formulaic and on the surface:

"Hey, how are you?" only requires the response, "How are you?"

If the person then goes into more detail, you have to decided either to seriously attend to what they are saying or evade with something like:

"Really? Sounds great. Well, back to the grindstone!"

Or simply, "Sorry, I have to run."