Aspergers Pisses Off NTs?

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I am not sure if piss off is the correct term but an acquaintance who knows I have Aspergers told me that so and so also had Aspergers. The next time I saw so and so I asked him did he also have Aspergers. That person was really offended by me asking him this question and has not talked to me for months; you would have thought I had accused him of being a pedophile. I feel this attitude is indicative of how people really feel towards Aspergers. That's my 2 cents; I was just trying to figure out why I got such a response. Anybody else have any ideas?

I don't think he broke off contact because he was offended. Probably trying to protect himself. Were you indiscreet about it?
Wait a minute, I misunderstood. The NT broke off?

Last edited by Stannis on 22 Jan 2014, 5:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I piss of NTs, but it's usually on purpose... not really relevant here...

To him, it may have felt like you jumped levels.

I had a teacher who I knew had ADHD, but I thought perhaps it went further. And so one day I asked her in the middle of a lesson if she was autistic

This is why I find the whole meme that there are lots of "aspie wannabes" around really, really hard to believe.

As far as I can tell, people treat autism as an incurable, noninfectious disease that makes you an inferior. The idea that it's somehow cool is beyond belief--in my context.

Maybe in some academic settings where the students are all sheltered from the working world, there could be some tiny amount of that idea, but out in the adult population? It isn't cool. I have told only a handful of people about it and those are probably all I will ever tell unless I become an activist...

But even there, I am constrained. I don't think it would be fair to my kids to be really open about it in a way that would expose them to more s**t than they already get over their traits.

It may be they told that 'friend' in confidence and were shocked that their 'secret' was shared around.

It's very plausible that AS simply irritates NTs for the most part. My mother frequently gets annoyed with my AS behaviours and my sister recently said that she "hates dinosaurs" (my special interest) because I "won't shut up about them." That may have more to do with specific traits though than the disorder as a whole. To be fair though the first time autism was mentioned to me, I was outraged that anyone should think I would have it; I wasn't autistic, I was perfectly "normal"... until I did my research that is. It could be that your friend is just in angry denial like I was.

The first time someone hinted at something like this, I was deeply insulted.

At another time, someone tried to tell me, I was incapable of recognizing what was going. My mind just would not grasp it.

A lot of AS behavior does irritate NTs. I was at a D&D game recently and the DM asked me if I had played with another player. I did not recognize the name, but asked if he could describe him, because I am bad with names... he said "Oh, you would remember him. He has aspergers or something and he's really annoying. He seems to try to ruin every game, but he's just clueless. You end up having to play despite him rather than with him." I just did not know what to say. But that he was annoyed by what he perceives as aspergers was abundantly clear.

FYI, I was very discreet about asking him. We were talking about Aspergers this person's daughter also has it and he told me I should talk to this person that he also had Aspergers. Either he had an axe to grind with this person or with me.

^^This. At the very least, it means you're an annoying ass and at worst, they think it means you're a potentially dangerous psychopath. Most of NT society thinks all High Functioning Autism looks like Rainman. The rest of them think we're all like Sheldon Cooper or Adam Lanza.

The person you were told has AS may simply be fearful that others will think of him that way if he's 'outed.' Either that, or he doesn't have it and was insulted because he felt you were calling him ret*d.

However, there seem to be two distinctly separate discussions going on here:

One about the LABEL of AS angering someone who may or may not actually be autistic.

The other, about whether autistic social behaviors irritate neurotypical people. The short answer: Hell YES, they do.

Neurotypicals expect everyone to automatically recognize, comprehend and follow the same set of social rules and taboos and they are confused and irritated when you throw them a curve ball, by doing something unexpected, or not doing the expected, or questioning the rules of the game. It literally challenges the status quo of their reality paradigm and ignites their inherent xenophobia.

I've encountered blunt forced opposition from the NT society in regards to asking if a person is autistic or not.
One even said it was "wrong and rude to discuss such things"
Why it is so, I won't understand.
It might be because they believe autistic to be defective.

Most whom do this are quite young, between the age of 14 - 19.
It is mainly due to medias representation of autistic individuals.
If they see movies like Adam or Mozart and The Whale, rather than just The Big Bang Theory or Rainman, they might think differently.

StarTrekker; you can talk dinosaurs to me all day. They were my special interest when I was young Until I discovered CARS.

Hmm... What does this even mean...

...lol, in any face, sounds like a need a level select cheat code or something

I think he was shocked that you thought he had AS when he might not have ever considered it. I was like that when my mum said it, cause back then I didn't know much about autism. I also think asking someone whether they have a neurological disorder isn't socially appropriate. I've suspected a lot of people and some children of people I know, but I know if I said it they would instantly deny it and get a bit offended.

Outside this community the view of autism is very different. Or any disorder for matter. And most of us started out with similar views like that.

A few years ago I thought I knew only one person with autism. This little kid in DS's pre-school who fussed about everything and wouldn't talk. If anyone asked if I had it I'd be offended. Now that I realize nearly my whole family have it, and have accepted it, it doesn't bother me at all. This person you asked is probably in denial and didn't know enough about autism.

Of course aspies piss of NTs, and it's the same the other way. All people are easily pissed off by those who are different from themselves. It's really hard to wrap your head around the idea that people can be very very different from each other. I was a bit upset when I realized that my mom, who I consider very very annoying, is a perfectly normal NT. She is popular and has many friends. The world is built for people like her, not me. But then not all NTs are the polar opposites of me, there are people who are more similar to me to be found, and as an adult I have choices in who I hang out with. So things are not always hopeless.