explain how autism feels in your own words

Post Reply New Topic

for me, it kinda feels like my mind jumbled, and my body is tingly, words are slow and it feels like everyone moves too fast. its like my hands dont co-operate and my knees feel loose and it makes me trip. i also feels like im sorta trapped, like i cant quite verbally or even physically explain things. (im doing a pretty good job now) i feel like im always trying really hard to understand things, and when i dont understand something i get scared. i feel like my emotions control me and my wants and desires control me, its like i cant really filter anything else and everything else is chaotic.

sorry if it sounds confusing and dis-organized i get a head ache everytime i try to put feelings into words.

When I saw the psychiatrist who diagnosed me, I remember telling him that I feel as though I have dyslexia on a grand scale, in every single aspect of my life.

I have trouble making sense of absolutely everything.

It can be exhausting at times.

See the word directly under my screen name.

That's if I am on the spectrum, either way I still feel the same way.

I'm trying really hard to understand things that everyone else seems to with no effort. Only when I try to communicate what I think, no one else seems to understand, even though I'm using the same language. If I don't get too personal about myself, people understand better than if I try to communicate too much about myself. So I often feel broken, though I am not. And yes, I also feel trapped sometimes, when words are too hard too put together, when things get too stressful.

It feels like I'm trapped in a body that won't work together with me. Like I'm not my own master.

It always makes me think of Christopher Guest's insistence in This is Spinal Tap, that his guitar is special because where most have a volume knob with only 10 notches, "this one goes to 11."

I feel like life itself is turned up to 11 (actually more like 15 or 16), all the time. Not just sound, but every aspect of sensory experience, is cranked way too loud and the knob is broken off.

And that's when I'm alone and everything is relatively peaceful.

Start adding people to the mix, with their nonsensical behaviors and mysterious social signals and it just becomes more than I can keep up with.

That scene was hilarious as was the scene with the tiny Stonehenge that came down during the concert and when he got stuck in the egg!

I often feel like the world moves too fast and I can't keep up and I get exhausted trying. My husband was away for a few days on a fishing trip and I felt like being alone for a few days where I did not have to do anything except rest, my world was able to slow down and I was able to function so much better. It almost feels like my world moves in slow motion compared to others.

I also feel much more emotionally disconnected from people my age. I am very much younger emotionally yet intellectually I can be equal and sometimes I can be of wiser than most of my peers. Sometimes I also feel like a complete moron or like a little kid because I don't always understand things that other take for granted.

I also feel like I am going to explode sometimes because of sensory overload or I get super exhausted. I get depressed a lot too and sometimes for no apparent reason but I can also get very excited and happy over the smallest things. I love how I see bright and crisp and detailed and I love that I can hear all sorts of things even though that can be a source of difficulty. I get anxious and I get OCD. I have meltdowns and shutdowns. And when I am driven about something I am unstoppable. When I was little I always felt like I never fit in. Now I know why and so I don't care about that part so much.

Last edited by skibum on 25 Jan 2014, 5:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I usually explain to people that dealing with others is like being in a foreign country where you speak absolutely zero of the language and your translator stutters.

yes that is what it's like. In fact when I go to foreign countries I have double the difficulty. I think because there is double the language barrier.

No speaka no English, and no understanda the body language. It is a traumatic experience to be honest.

I actually do better socially in other countries. They know I'm not from there and don't expect the level of perfection they do in your own country...

^^I'm ok if I go to Holland, but anywhere else I've been it's been like living in a box with a box, for however long I've been there.

I do not know what being neurotypical feels like, so I cannot give a meaningful description.

I don't know how neurotypical feels like either. I would endeavour to ask them but they wouldn't understand what the hell I was on about.

I feel like I'm running in a race with the same exact body as everyone else, but with wind constantly pushing me back or slowing me down.

I think what you are saying is that maybe the NT's feel the same. I have thought this also.

Maybe we are just more sensitive.

Ditto times 16. I often feel like bride of Frankenstein....like the neurons don't fire OR conduct properly. 404 ERROR.