Disliking Change?
I can't find any solid information anywhere that helps me understand the typical/average boundaries in terms of the dislike of change almost always present to abnormal degrees in individuals that are on the spectrum. Not only that, but I've read that some autistic individuals (mostly they have Asperger's) actually like most changes.
What I want to know is, does the type of change have any significant effect on whether or not an autistic 'dislikes' it or not? I mean this in the sense that the changes are of the same 'intensity', but of different nature. For example, they dislike going to unfamiliar places, but they don't mind it if they are with a friend. Something like that.
Does anyone have any personal examples of this?
EDIT - Can autistic people 'become accustomed' to changes, if they have experienced it so much throughout their lives?
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Last edited by Norny on 29 Jan 2014, 6:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
mr_bigmouth_502
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I'm an aspie, and I find that I often don't adapt well to change, especially when it messes with my daily routine. That's not to say that I like every day to be exactly the same, because once in a while if something in my life is inconveniencing me, I will set out to do something about it and in the process create some change, but for the most part, if things are going well for me, and I get used to a certain routine, almost anything that messes with that routine can and will upset me.
I also forgot to mention routines!
I really don't know how to think about routines.. they can be strict (such as 1 minute late being the end of the world) or relatively loose/vague but still present. I always see people mention that they have a routine, but I'm not entirely sure what they mean.
For example, I'm not sure if you could call how I'm currently living a routine.. all I do is wake up, research ASDs and talk a little on Skype and few other things (such as dinner) and then go to bed and repeat. It's essentially the same thing every day, but I don't have a 'schedule' in my head, it just happens to be like that. There are no strict times, though I do function better with times.
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I also forgot to mention routines!
I really don't know how to think about routines.. they can be strict (such as 1 minute late being the end of the world) or relatively loose/vague but still present. I always see people mention that they have a routine, but I'm not entirely sure what they mean.
For example, I'm not sure if you could call how I'm currently living a routine.. all I do is wake up, research ASDs and talk a little on Skype and few other things (such as dinner) and then go to bed and repeat. It's essentially the same thing every day, but I don't have a 'schedule' in my head, it just happens to be like that. There are no strict times, though I do function better with times.
I don't have a rigid routine either, but I am the only one that can change my plans. For instance, if I planned on studying on this afternoon and my parentes suddenly say we have to go to our aunt's house I get upset and frustrated, and sometimes scream and cry. Notice that they are my relatives, so I know them, the point is that people can't suddenly change what I am doing or planning on doing whithout my consent.
As people on the spectrum can have any number of symptoms to any number of degrees, it's not surprising that the aversion to change of routine varies from person to person.
Am I comfortable with change? SOMETIMES.
I like routine. It keeps things predictable, and I'm OCD about preparation (you should see me plan road trips). Things go wrong on most every trip, but my PLANNING helps me to cope (I know my options), and that helps me deal with change. Going on a trip WITHOUT planning can be nerve wracking because I have to deal with situations as they happen WITHOUT any preparation other than my wits and what tools I packed with me.
Now, that said, I dislike an absence of change because EVENTUALLY I do get bored with the same routine day-to-day. The little hiccups in the road during the day keeps things interesting...especially if it's a day filled with boring, routine stuff. If I'm working on something important that needs my focus, I despise complications. Over time, I seek change because I want to do something new.
Hence, I see the question a combination of desiring change versus tolerating change. An autistic person has no problem with changes when the individual wants a change...even if it may make them anxious. It's when they DON'T want change that it's more of an issue.
Also, I try to force myself to cope with change because "stress testing" myself makes me stronger in my coping mechanisms. It's a Catch-22, I know, but I won't ever improve my coping skills if I deliberately avoid EVERY chance to exercise them.
for me its more about having the time to prepare myself for the change, for example if my parents told me we were going somewhere like to a family do the day before that would upset me a lot, although if the thing we are doing is going somewhere like to the garden centre I don't have to prepare because I know what to expect.
if its big change such as moving house or school then It does not matter how long in advance I know it stresses me out a lot but I presume that's normal for everyone as its a big thing.
I need at least a day for any change such as going somewhere just so I know what's going on, it always floors me when someone asks if I want to do something in an hour, I always say no just because its too sudden
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I had to move to an other province for my job and it's been over a year and I still have some trouble coping with it to some degree. Although I don't miss my old home or my old work but after 8 years of beeing there I knew everything about my work and there was pretty much close to no more big surprises. That move was probably the biggest stressfull event of my life and without my wife, there was no way I would of made it.
I don't mind change as long as I have some control over it and it's possible for me to get back to my "normal" life whenever I wan't. Exemple: traveling for vacation is something I enjoy. I don't find it relaxing at all but I enjoy seeing new places, I feel like an explorer.
As for small changes, I need to know in advance so I know it's gonna happen.
Routines: My waking up routine to go to work is set up like a swiss watch. It always been like this, I don't have to think everything just happen. The first hour of waking up is the hardest part of my everyday life, it's probably where I had most of my meltdowns so this perfect routine is probably a coping mechanism to make sure nothing bad happen.
For the rest of the day, I don't have a serious routine but there is alot of things I do daily that is part of a routine.
Edit: I can live with change, but it does build up my stress level and I just can't function with a high level of stress.
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norny,
although am not HF/aspergan,am able to give a different view on this.
am completely unable to cope with changes and do get prescribed diazepam for this reason.
have experienced extreme changes in the past decade due to being moved out of the family home and into an intelectual disability institution.
after it was shut down was moved twice a year to different residential homes due to them never doing full assessments of placements to make sure they were able to cope with needs and behaviors,and two years ago had ended up diagnosed with lifelong severe reactive attachment disorder as a result of this constant getting used to new residents and new staff, new bedroom and building,new places, new transitions,new rules and boundaries etc. and having to start from the beginning each time with being understood by people due to having high complex needs.
the RAD was never that bad- it was an extreme flare up caused by that decade of change.
each move added more challenging behaviors because was getting further stressed and
further removed from humanity let alone care givers,have had a lot of specialist support to become stable with RAD and thankfuly do not resemble a pyschopath to much anymore.
change is a bigger issue for the severe and profound spectrums of autism with significant behavioral consequences.
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What I want to know is, does the type of change have any significant effect on whether or not an autistic 'dislikes' it or not? I mean this in the sense that the changes are of the same 'intensity', but of different nature. For example, they dislike going to unfamiliar places, but they don't mind it if they are with a friend. Something like that.
Does anyone have any personal examples of this?
EDIT - Can autistic people 'become accustomed' to changes, if they have experienced it so much throughout their lives?
I would think if a person is unhappy with something, changing it won't be as difficult.
I do not think I have become accustomed to change, it i more that I can hide my dislike of change somewhat better. My "experience" has taught me that some changes can be not the horrible thing I imagined it to be before hand and some changes can be beneficial. Same principal with breaking routines.
The Brief-A test is test professionals use for executive Function and does test for resistance to change. https://shop.acer.edu.au/acer-shop/grou ... BFF73D4451
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I have hard time with change. If I have made plans, and it gets changed, I get really upset and have to take a step back and regroup. If I am already stressed, this can lead to a shutdown.
I do better when I am choosing the change, but sometimes I still get upset and want my routine back. For example, one time I agreed to go to lunch with my sister before work. I usually left for work at 1230. I didn't have to be at work until 330 that day. I had plenty of time to get there. Once my sister and I got to lunch and it was getting closer to 1230, I got really upset. I asked her to take me home. I got home and left for work right away. I was so upset.
I have hard time with change. If I have made plans, and it gets changed, I get really upset and have to take a step back and regroup. If I am already stressed, this can lead to a shutdown.
I do better when I am choosing the change, but sometimes I still get upset and want my routine back. For example, one time I agreed to go to lunch with my sister before work. I usually left for work at 1230. I didn't have to be at work until 330 that day. I had plenty of time to get there. Once my sister and I got to lunch and it was getting closer to 1230, I got really upset. I asked her to take me home. I got home and left for work right away. I was so upset.
I am very comfortable with some changes but not with others. For example if we are supposed to do a big thing like travel somewhere and that changes I am fine with that. But if you try to get me to change the way and sequence of how I brush my teeth or wash dishes or something like that, I have a really hard time with those kinds of changes. My husband tells me all the time that I have to have things my way and can't do them any other way. I never knew how much I was like that until he told me because I can go with the flow with big things. But it's the little meticulous things that I tend to stuck in. A good example for me is dishes. It took me about 12 years of marriage and of my husband coaxing me to change one tiny thing about dishes. Normally I cannot leave dishes sitting and not washed. It took me about 12 years to finally be able to let a dish sit on the table for a half hour or hour before I wash it if I am too tired to wash it. I always wash my dishes immediately and if he ate something and did not wash the dish immediately I had to go wash it. I could not let it sit for even a moment. But now I can let it sit for about an hour before I have to wash it. So that is a huge change.
But I have routines about how I pay bills, how I do laundry, how I brush my teeth and the order of how I wash in the shower and little things like that. And it is extremely difficult for me to change them.
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